Moved out, working on GAL

[fightin]

Starting a new thread since the original is now over 100.

Old one is located here:

http://www.divorcebusting.com/forums/ubb...939#Post2714939

[fightin]

Hawker, I think not texting helps me too. It sets zero expectations rather than me doing just as you said and trying to "mind read".

J2, I have to get over that fear, and I do believe that letting go will work. I think she really has to lose all of me, friendship and all before she can even begin to sort out how she feels. I know that Friday when I saw her she was very confused; I think even more so than the Sunday before when she asked for a S with intent of D when she can afford it. She seemed so sure that Sunday, and so cold, and then Friday she was such a mess. If she thinks she can still have the best of both worlds she'll never have reason to make any decisions.

[fightin]

Well today is day 1 of working from home. So far I'm not terribly motivated, but I have a lot to do so I better get in gear. Hope everyone has a fantastic Monday!

[doodler]

fightin,

I hope you have a productive day at home! Did your commute go well?

[fightin]

By commute do you mean move? I haven't had to commute to work yet, that won't be until Wednesday.

The move went pretty well, had it all in the truck within an hour. W and SS weren't there, but she was a mess the night before. I'm all settled her at my parents and have a lot of adulting to do before I can dig deep into the fun GAL activities. Working toward getting my rental property here rented back out as the current tenants are moving so I'm meeting someone tonight and another tomorrow afternoon.

If you get a chance I'd love to hear your thoughts on her behavior from the night before the move. Post starts with "Update on tonight:" http://www.divorcebusting.com/forums/ubbthreads.php?ubb=showflat&Number=2716986&page=10

[doodler]

By commute do you mean move?

fightin,

No, I was being silly; I meant your commute to work. If you've seen the movie "What About Bob", Bob (Bill Murray) worked from home and had a daily routine prior to "going" to work. He'd say bye to his fish (among other things) and he had a punch-clock on his desk.

Anyway, I'm glad your move went well.

[fightin]

Ah, I see! ::Face Palm:: Sorry didn't pick up on that. I've only seen bits and pieces of that movie and it was ages ago so I don't remember much. Maybe that'll be on my to-do list.

[fightin]

So question following background:

Going to see my SS this week when my W has him and I'll have to keep it to an hour because I double booked myself with a friend. I wasn't originally going to see him on the nights she has him, but I miss him and do want to see him.

IF, and that's a big IF but I want to be prepared, she asks why I need to go so soon how do I handle that? Plan is to just say I have things I need to do, but what if she pries?

[cheesyt]

don't tell her what you're doing, if she pries, -a friend, -what friend? - you don't know them. change the subject, begin to leave. she doesn't get to know what you're doing since she Fired you from your W job. where are you seeing ss? -what worked for me was picking up SD and taking her to the park or to eat. anything away from W because who needs the pressure, is she watching, is she listening, just interferes with mine and D's relationship.

[fightin]

Okay thanks, just not sure how to walk the line between not being friend-zoned and not being rude.

The plan is to pick him up and go somewhere to eat. She seems to follow us around when I hang out with him, like she's feeling left out or something. The last time I was just enjoying some one-on-one with him she butted in and sat with him and just stared at me and cried so yeah, I'm good with her dealing with whatever her emotions are without my presence. It makes me angry and I want to say "Um you didn't want to be a family anymore so bug off!"