In my mind I was taking the shutters off and letting my light shine free as a "separated" guy both in my online and IRL interactions.
These were your words to me a few days ago:
Originally Posted By: AndrewP
I think the idea of "grand proclamation" grew a bit out of my intention and control in the words of commentators on my thread as well and I never bothered to address it until now and your thoughtful question. I'm not about to paint the side of W's work with a "cheating $#@ works here" or anything. I'm talking about the simple thing of changing my Facebook status and when people ask about W saying "oh - we're not together any more" and then saying "I'd rather not talk about it" when they press for details.
To me, changing your status to "separated as of BD1" seems like a "grand proclamation."
In my mind, removing your "relationship status" and unfollowing or even unfriending W (on FB, SC, etc) is a way to free yourself without needing to make an "announcement". People that are interested might see it, most others wont even notice. But for YOU it would be freeing, I think.
To me, changing your status to "separated as of BD1" seems like a "grand proclamation."
Seemed like that to me also.
Originally Posted By: darknes
In my mind, removing your "relationship status" and unfollowing or even unfriending W (on FB, SC, etc) is a way to free yourself without needing to make an "announcement". People that are interested might see it, most others wont even notice. But for YOU it would be freeing, I think.
This was my suggestion also.
And be honest with yourself, AndrewP, are you sure the "separated as of BD1" isn't for the flower shop girl?
Everybody hurts. It's part of life. Don't miss the good stuff.
eric was right (don't tell him I said that ). This is a difficult part. Not as nearly as painful as some of it but very difficult.
Once you have read as much as I have and seen just about anything – you’ll be right too. Although I was “right”, the spirit of my message was lost – at least that is my sense based on the posts on your thread since I last posted.
Allow me to explain:
In your earlier post you said this was about YOU alone (“This is about ME alone). You then went on to say that your primary goal is to reconcile with your W.
You then responded to another poster….
Quote:
This isn't about HER - it's about freeing ME
Then to Job…
Quote:
Facebook status was only part of it and perhaps clouded the larger picture. In my mind I was taking the shutters off and letting my light shine free as a "separated" guy both in my online and IRL interactions.
As I sit here I am left wondering…….
How does a facebook status update really work to achieve YOUR “primary goal”, which I thought was to save your M. I also think that as much as YOU may “feel” that this will FREE you – it really will NOT, at least IMO.
Here is what I think……
Andrew is getting tired of waiting around for his W and wants the world to know that he is free (especially flower girl). Andrew feels “stuck” and is lonely and really does not like that feeling.
Bottom line – IF YOU want to change your status, call it a day, proclaim to the world that you are free…err…single…GO RIGHT AHEAD. Just KNOW what YOUR true motivation is.
I hope….this brings you to YOUR “primary goal”, which maybe is more about healing and less about trying to get YOUR W back. Only you know.
"The difficulties of Life are intended to make us BETTER,not bitter". "Fear is a prison, where you are the jailer. FREE YOURSELF!" "Life is usually all about how you handle Plan B." - Jack3Beans
And also...delete her, don't delete her, unfriend, whatever the case...
Waaaayyyy too much focus here.
IF you can handle having her on your contacts, then leave her there...
IF every time you get a wild hair up your self, and start involving yourself through social media, then take whatever measures you see fit, and activate them so that you don't do it anymore...
Sorry everyone. I promise I'll read back later and respond as appropriate.
I just unexpectedly encountered W at the store when I was picking up my mail and some cookies.
I didn't run and she didn't either. The transaction was completed and she wished me a good day.
I was wearing my wedding ring and she was not.
I stopped as I was leaving and asked "should we talk soon"? She said "yes".
Should I reach out to her via text and ask her when or just let it sit?
On BD H52, W50 T27, M26 S21, D23 BD-9-Mar-16 D-15-Jan-18 Final-19-Apr-18 I am a storyteller. The story may do you no good. But a story is never for the listener. It is always for the one who tells
Do nothing! Allow her to come to you when she is ready.
Keep the focus on YOU!
Sit quietly, the answers will reveal themselves when you least expect them to. The past is gone, the present is a gift and you need to focus on today, allow the future to reveal itself when it is ready.
