Taking another dolly step...

[Surfer]

AndrewP is so right. You are your own happiness. We sometimes give our Significant others too much control over our feelings - hence the roller coaster we all despise. Doing something for others always helps and planning for a great Christmas for your D will help you enjoy. Giving thoughtfully always helps.

It's my W's 40th Birthday in the next few days. And my D's too. I will go to my D's party but my W will clearly not invite me to her celebrations as I am all that is wrong in the world to her. So I am helping (doing) a really nice collage of photographs for her frames with some lovely words and love hearts draw by D8 & S6. I have done many such things over the years. More recently, when in pursuit mode (fool - we do it LoL) she would be angry - as they came from me. But with this being from the kids she will like it.

I think perhaps you might be having a bit of a wobble. I am coming out of one myself.

Sit tight all will be fine I am sure.

Keep that chin up and remember what a lovely person you are.

Surfer.

[Surfer]

Sorry. I didn't answer your question. The week was great. Weds - Sun. I wanted to keep them for longer but it's a long story.

Took them away (and my parents - it was like having 4 kids - ha ha). Went to a theme park - lots to do, stayed in a hotel, then a night at parents, then back home, took them to the Olympic Aquatics centre (from the 2012 olympics) and did an inflatable assault course in the pool. Great Fun - we all did it made dinner a Chicken pie (never made it before) - I put a smiley sun on the top. They loved it. Then took them out for dinner last night in their new smart clothes - which I bought for them - another new thing. W used to do all of this. All in all it was fab.

Also sat and watched a film with them. All cuddled up with the fire on. This was the best bit for me. It might have only been for 30mins, if that, as I was getting dinner ready etc, but it's one of 'those times' (I try to consciously burn these happy times into my memory by really feeling the love I have for them and they have for me). Bliss.

Surfer.

[Coly23]

Thanks Andrew and Surfer. I think I'm going to play it by ear and do a 180 for me this Christmas. Usually I am running around trying to find out what everyone is doing and if they have all got somewhere to go. Inevitably H used to get caught in the crossfire with my stressing about everything especially when things didn't always go to plan.

It's also my D's birthday just before Christmas so I'm going to try and concentrate on her having a fab time. I've got plenty of friends and family who will take us in for Christmas Day so I'm going to see what everyone else is doing. I definitely don't feel up to hosting this year although I have always loved it. Maybe next year I will be more up to it.

Surfer, your half term holiday sounded absolutely lovely and that chicken pie sounds delicious! You've inspired me so I think I might make a pie this weekend!

Soooo, just wanted your opinions on a dilemma I have. My D is going to have her prom next year and is already badgering me to look for prom dresses. I'm really worried as they can be very expensive especially the ones that she is looking at! D suggested I ask H for a contribution (she would!) but I'm way to proud to ask him and to be honest I'm not sure I would want his money either. Anyway, he has now asked if he can go halves with me as she has obviously spoken to him about it! I don't really know what to say..

[job]

Coly,

I think it's a wonderful idea to do something different this holiday season. It's time to create some new traditions that you and your family can enjoy.

As for the prom dress, if your h has offered to go halves w/you, then accept the offer graciously. I'm proud of your D in asking her father about chipping in. Why shouldn't he go in w/you on the dress? It's his daughter too and the prom is a very special event that only comes around once a year. Don't allow your pride to get in the way...accept his offer and be sure to thank him when he either hands you cash or writes a check for his portion of the bill.

[Coly23]

Aahh Job thank you, you always make me see sense!

My first instinct is to think why should he be involved when he was the one who decided to leave his family so I should turn his offer down. However at the end of the day the only person I will be hurting is my D as I don't have the money to get her what she wants. I see that now.

Anyway we had a bit of text chat about the prom dress and work and stuff and we are going to meet for a coffee on Friday to catch up. However I feel like I have let you all down with the NC thing

[AndrewP]

Coly - What we did for D24's wedding dress was to get the sample dress from the shop. It looked fabulous on her and only needed minor alterations. AND it was a fraction of the price. Perhaps there are similar options available for prom dresses?

Just my 2 pence.

[pinn]

Anyway we had a bit of text chat about the prom dress and work and stuff and we are going to meet for a coffee on Friday to catch up. However I feel like I have let you all down with the NC thing

How did the text convo come about?

Go into Friday with the right frame of mind. Just enjoy the time.. be upbeat. Do not to start any R talk and go into it with zero expectations.

Hope it goes well!

[Coly23]

Thanks Andrew, that sounds like a great idea! I'll definitely keep that in mind and if it means we wont have to take out a small mortgage to buy it is even better!!!

[Coly23]

Pinn he said maybe we could have a chat about the prom dress and I suggested we meet for coffee for a general catch up and he agreed. Now I feel like I am pursuing but he could have said no if he really didn't want to.....

I have asked him to keep this meeting to himself and not tell anyone especially D. I just think everyone's imagination runs away with them and it is just a coffee nothing else. No expectations and definitely no R talk...

[Coly23]

I promise I'll go back to being dark after Friday...