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Molly22 Offline OP
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I feel like a total jerk. Ignored the earlier message. I got "Why am I worried about what you did last night? It's silly". I didn't respond. I feel guilty not reassuring him. Awhile later I got a message asking if I was home. I wasn't but he dropped off pet food and went in and took out the recycling etc. I thanked him for doing that but nothing else.


Me: 41
WH: 41
DS: 21
DD: 20
DD:18

Dday: Oct 2016
Currently Separated
Joined: Apr 2016
Posts: 4,227
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Molly22 - You did great! One step at a time and good job in the polite note back to him.


On BD
H52, W50
T27, M26
S21, D23
BD-9-Mar-16
D-15-Jan-18 Final-19-Apr-18
I am a storyteller. The story may do you no good.
But a story is never for the listener. It is always for the one who tells
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LiM Offline
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Molly,

I think you are doing a great job. I see that your husband is VERY conflicted based on his actions. His is in a hell of his own creation right now. Let him sit in it an be miserable. Let him see what he has done to your M. You focus on YOU right now. Dont feel like you have to respond to every text he sends you. Make him miss you. OW has NOTHING on you.


Me: 48 y/o
W: 47 y/o
Together: > 20 yrs
BD: Dec '15, then S
2nd BD: Mar '16, then I filed for D
April '16: started piecing
Joined: Oct 2016
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Molly22 Offline OP
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I wish I had someone sitting beside me as I text or don't text. He has sent me a lot of messages today. In part, it seems he is looking for reassurance. I don't really know where to go with that.

I'm 99% sure the OW is out of the picture currently. Doesn't mean it will stay that way permanently but I outed them. Not particularly proud of how I handled it but not much I can do about it now. She's a Bunny Boiler.

WS asked me tonight to wait the three months that the MC said it takes to reset patterns before I make any moves. Trouble is, although he seems to be missing his life, he doesn't seem to be making any progress on himself. He still hasn't contact an IC. I'm going to keep moving forward and I have a feeling that he his going to be lagging to far behind to catch up.

How do I let him stew in his own misery?

He asked me tonight if I have a boyfriend. Ya dude. We've been separated three weeks and I have a boyfriend.


Me: 41
WH: 41
DS: 21
DD: 20
DD:18

Dday: Oct 2016
Currently Separated
Joined: Sep 2016
Posts: 357
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So your detaching well! Keep it up!


Tonight I had to use some detaching texts to my ww. She wanted me to watch the kids so she could go hang with OM. I told her I had plans. She then for the first time in about 9 months asked who I was going with, what I was doing, guy or girl, etc.

I was vague and polite and of course she jabbed t the end saying that she was glad I was going out and hopefully have realized we are over and then told me we need to make some time to go file.

Stay strong! You are doing great!


34, xw33
M-10, T-18
2D (8 and 5)
Ilybinilwy-1/16
EA/PA- 7/15-present (with my former best friend)
Trial apartment-2/16 (also when she considers us separated)
W moved out-8/16
W Filed 11/21/16
D final 1/30/17
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*you're


34, xw33
M-10, T-18
2D (8 and 5)
Ilybinilwy-1/16
EA/PA- 7/15-present (with my former best friend)
Trial apartment-2/16 (also when she considers us separated)
W moved out-8/16
W Filed 11/21/16
D final 1/30/17
Joined: Oct 2016
Posts: 112
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Molly22 Offline OP
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I have such a hard time being vague because I worry he will think I am doing something and it will justify him doing something. If that's what he is going to do, I don't want him anyway, right?

Be vague. That will be my goal today.


Me: 41
WH: 41
DS: 21
DD: 20
DD:18

Dday: Oct 2016
Currently Separated
Joined: Sep 2016
Posts: 357
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He betrayed you. why would it entitle him to knowing your every move? When he had that privilege he took advantage of it. He has to earn it back.


34, xw33
M-10, T-18
2D (8 and 5)
Ilybinilwy-1/16
EA/PA- 7/15-present (with my former best friend)
Trial apartment-2/16 (also when she considers us separated)
W moved out-8/16
W Filed 11/21/16
D final 1/30/17
Joined: Oct 2016
Posts: 112
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Molly22 Offline OP
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Originally Posted By: j20a00g
He betrayed you. why would it entitle him to knowing your every move? When he had that privilege he took advantage of it. He has to earn it back.


You're right. Can you give me a kick in the butt every time I post that I am tempted to contact him?

I already burst into tears once at work this morning because I let him get to me.


Me: 41
WH: 41
DS: 21
DD: 20
DD:18

Dday: Oct 2016
Currently Separated
Joined: Oct 2016
Posts: 112
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Molly22 Offline OP
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Posts: 112
Meh. I feel good as long as I am not in his presence. He came to get DD a few minutes ago and he hugged me. Didn't expect it. What do I do with that? Next time I'll be better prepared. It felt good but sad.

This stuff all [censored].


Me: 41
WH: 41
DS: 21
DD: 20
DD:18

Dday: Oct 2016
Currently Separated
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