I'm not Surfer but I thought I'd drop by and see my team-mate.
Christmas will be tough for me too. I'm going to do my best to celebrate it and I hope that you and D15 have a great one. Perhaps start making some plans? S22 and I will be attempting a Father/Son "cooking of the large chicken Dad doesn't know what to do with". On Wednesday the flower shop I go to is having an open house and I'm hoping to pick up some decorations.
Just because you haven't heard a peep from H doesn't mean you are un-loved. Look in the mirror and see that fabulous Coly who has been so very kind to a particular AndrewP and know that you can love yourself because you are fabulous all on your own. D15 loves you too. Love is all around you but you carry it in your heart.
On BD H52, W50 T27, M26 S21, D23 BD-9-Mar-16 D-15-Jan-18 Final-19-Apr-18 I am a storyteller. The story may do you no good. But a story is never for the listener. It is always for the one who tells
Coly, it might be nice to start some new traditions this year.v Is there something you've always wanted to do but didn't because H didn't want to, or he had a conflicting tradition?
My kids and H all love having duck or goose for Xmas dinner. If it were up to me, we'd either have ham or just skip the fancy dinner entirely and have appetizers instead.
I'd also go to the late-night church service instead of the "family" service earlier in the evening.
Is there anything like that for you?
Me: 44 H: 44 Kids: 20, 16, 16, and 10 Together/Married: 22 years H announced he was emotionally detached and considering D: 4/4/16 H announced he is going to try to stay and reconnect: 5/1/16
The NC thing can be so hard at times. One minute you feel detached, then you get the odd bout of loneliness and you really miss them. But it goes if you let it.
I find doing something to cheer you up or even doing something to take your mind off it helps.
Christmas is going to be tricky for many in here but I think it's worth planning something now. Its my first Christmas in a separated life. I can look at it one of two ways. I can be lonely and sad and miss the fact that my family is less than 15mins away having a family Christmas without me or I can GAL and plan now. My parents and wider family are a 3-4 hour drive away. I moved here to be with my W, get married and have kids about 15 years ago. There's plenty of things to do out there. I think I will spend part of the time with my family and take the kids. Part may be here too. New year celebrations need planning too. I have a friend having a party and she is suggesting having it here....I need to think about that and other things to do.
Perhaps getting some plans in place will help. Have you got any thoughts on what may help you? It will still be a lovely time if you plan it. Don't be one of those people that dreads Christmas and NC with H.
It's Halloween and we would normally dress the house and the kids would go out with W. The kids are now back (went yesterday) with W and are going 'trick or treating' with her at her parents tonight. They will love it and that's the main thing. I decided I could just sit and let the other kids come round, door knockIng, and be sad, or I could 'do something'. So I did. Yesterday, when the kids were here, we put up decorations haloween balloons, witches and ghosts on the door. So when kids turn up I can offer them a bowl of treats and enjoy seeing them having fun.
I really loved the family thing at Christmas. My W home and the kids. It might feel lonely but plan your Christmas. Your H will miss his normal Christmas in some way too I am sure. Also, things like this always feel like they 'will be sad' but even if they are, things are rarely as bad as you think and with some positivity you can make a great time of it. Positive thoughts coming your way my dear!!!
Surfer.
M46/W40/D8/S6/T20/M12/Separated 6/2016,W takes kids Issues2009 Wpartying w/g.f's2013on EA2013PAdeniedWleavesMBR ImeetAP/EAhalts VariousBDDates MFCourse WSpew EAresumes I halt Wrages DBIng4/2016
