I'm in good shape now, but five years ago I was in great shape. I'd lost 65 pounds and could run a full marathon on any given day. I could kick @ss and I loved the feeling. I need to get back to that again; there's nothing like being great shape. (It's also fun to be physically imposing enough to scare the h3ll out of the OM. )
I hope you can get into a regular fitness routine; you'll love the results.
Yeah, I definitely want to. I'm hoping I can actually stick with it though. I've tried to get in shape a few times, but it only ever lasted a few lazy weeks where I never really put in any effort.
How do you handle the anger you feel when the walk away does something that absolutely infuriates you?
I feel she's acting this way to get a rise out of me, or something, and I honestly do want to flip out. Instead, I've been biting my tongue every time and I don't know how much longer I can just ignore the rude, condescending things she's been doing to me.
Just remember that the 3 seconds you will feel better from lashing out could set your progress back weeks. Also, you just said you think she does it to get a rise. That's what she's expecting. Continuing giving it and she will see you are the same person she's run away from. Don't give in and she will notice.
34, xw33 M-10, T-18 2D (8 and 5) Ilybinilwy-1/16 EA/PA- 7/15-present (with my former best friend) Trial apartment-2/16 (also when she considers us separated) W moved out-8/16 W Filed 11/21/16 D final 1/30/17
Like I said, I've been really trying not to react, and I've done a great job so far.
But the past few days, she's been ruining my time with the kids. That's what is making me so angry.
This guy she's been seeing has completely changed her. For the worse. She's so happy with everyone else, and so bitter, cold, and rude to me. I haven't done anything to deserve the treatment, other than detached from her.
"But the past few days, she's been ruining my time with the kids."
How?
Well, first, it was she told me that my daughter is going to be in a commercial. I was ecstatic for her. Then, she told me she's taking her to New York for photos and to film it, but she refuses to let me be a part of it and support my daughter. My fear is my daughter will have this wonderful experience and memory, but a big part of that memory will be "daddy wasn't there". And I have a nagging feeling that she's telling me I can't go, just so the guy she's been seeing can be there.
Then, tonight, I asked her if I could video chat with the kids before bedtime. I sent her that message around 4:30pm. She read the message, but never replied to me. So finally around 8:45pm I sent her another message asking why she never replied. She said to call now if I wanted, so I did. I only got to talk to them for a total of 8 minutes. For about 4 of the minutes, she set the phone down and they went about their business while I sat there silently hoping to see them. Then, the last 4 minutes of the call was spent with me trying to ask them how school was, but she was telling them to do things and yelling at them for not listening to her. Then, she decided to take the phone off my daughter (5) and tell them to go to bed. When I was visible (but not vocally) angry, she decided to blame me for calling so close to bed time. And when I brought up that I never got a response from her, she said "that's not my fault".
So she's being so rude and hurtful to me, and I don't know how to react.
It looks like she was telling the truth when she told me they never had sex.
I found a used condom in the garbage today. It was completely accidental. I just threw something away and it was on top.
She claims she feels bad. She claims she's sorry.
But now, the detachment I had is gone. I'm hurting more than I was when this first started. I have no idea what to do or how to deal with these feelings I have now.
I'm very sorry. I know it's difficult to deal with the flood of emotions.
Thanks, and you're right. I literally don't know how to bury these emotions. I just want to try and work on myself. I want to be happy. I just hate everything going on right now in my life.
34, xw33 M-10, T-18 2D (8 and 5) Ilybinilwy-1/16 EA/PA- 7/15-present (with my former best friend) Trial apartment-2/16 (also when she considers us separated) W moved out-8/16 W Filed 11/21/16 D final 1/30/17
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