Yikes! Now I don't know what to do. Since he is such a conflict avoider, I thought it was a positive sign that he wanted to go. I'm dreading it though. Should I cancel? I have a feeling that if we cancel, he will never go back.
Yikes! Now I don't know what to do. Since he is such a conflict avoider, I thought it was a positive sign that he wanted to go. I'm dreading it though. Should I cancel? I have a feeling that if we cancel, he will never go back.
In my opinion, it won't hurt to go. If it doesn't work out well, then just understand that it's the typical outcome.
My wife gave me the choice of MC or lawyer. Of course, I chose MC. The first session was not too bad, the second session was not good, the third session was a disaster. And, she's the one that suggested MC. She was only good with MC as long as she felt like things were going her way. When she realized that wasn't happening, it went downhill very quickly.
I'm not really sure what to talk about at MC. I don't really want to share the GAL stuff I am doing. I don't really want to share that I am back at my support group. I have a habit of crying at MC too. Ugh. I need a plan.
Let the MC guide you (that's what I'm doing in my own sitch). That's his/her job, and, if (s)he is any good at all, she'll let you both talk, and she'll guide you as to content. You of course can always say you don't want to talk about something if it doesn't suit you. Good luck!
Me: 46 W: 44 Married: 17 Together 21 D13; S10 BD: 03.03.15 (Not attracted to you) Almost 2 years trying, alone, to save marriage Status now: Divorced (effective 06.13.17)
Thanks, JRuss. I'm going to be nervous about it until it happens.
I've had a lot of texts from him today and I mostly haven't responded or I've been detached with my answers. He's avoided seeing me in person for two weeks so when he sent me a text today saying that he was headed to a particular store, I responded by telling him I was at that store myself. I got back a text that said, "I don't want to break down in public if I see you. I'm going to XYZ instead."
I'm by no means a vet, but he definitely seems to be temp checking. Keep on keeping on -- I think you're doing very well, but it's a long slog.
Me: 46 W: 44 Married: 17 Together 21 D13; S10 BD: 03.03.15 (Not attracted to you) Almost 2 years trying, alone, to save marriage Status now: Divorced (effective 06.13.17)
I think I pushed it too far tonight. WS sent a text because his mother was wondering what to get DD for Xmas and I made a comment that DD feels abandoned by her entire family. I shouldn't have said anything but it's true. All three of my kids feel that way. WS, ILs, and his siblings have all rallied around him and not one has made any attempt to contact the kids. It especially hurts DD20 and I feel like I should stick up for her.
"Perhaps they should reach out to DD and ask her directly. She would certainly welcome a call as she has mentioned it's been some time since anyone has last reached out."
34, xw33 M-10, T-18 2D (8 and 5) Ilybinilwy-1/16 EA/PA- 7/15-present (with my former best friend) Trial apartment-2/16 (also when she considers us separated) W moved out-8/16 W Filed 11/21/16 D final 1/30/17
Ok I just read your whole thread and am a bit confused.
He had an A so you kicked him out. You then decided you wanted him back and he decided he want sure he wants back. Now he's coming after you and you are detaching?
All of this has happened in the last month?
Do you want him back or no? Does he say he wants back or no?
34, xw33 M-10, T-18 2D (8 and 5) Ilybinilwy-1/16 EA/PA- 7/15-present (with my former best friend) Trial apartment-2/16 (also when she considers us separated) W moved out-8/16 W Filed 11/21/16 D final 1/30/17
Yes, I asked him to leave. It was a gut reaction to a horrible discovery. I then asked him a Couple of days later whether he would come home and work on it and he decided that our whole marriage had been terrible. He said he was worried that we would return to more of the same and that I would never be able to trust him again. I then started reading here and detaching from him. Now he is showing signs of possibly wanting to R. . It was his idea to continue MC.
I am just as confused as you are lol. I was so caught off guard by DDay, I reacted horribly . My heart broke and kicking him out seemed logical at the time.
