Keep Wearing Wedding Band? [Thread #5]

[CT1118]

She ended up severing ties with everyone who told her to get help.

Hmmmm....no isn't this something familiar. FB message from cousin two-three months ago stating "I told her you can run from [CT118], but you can't run from you. And then she deleted me as a friend". FWIW ForGump.

This is not an easy journey FG. More important than ever to take care of yourself. Keep your body and your mind healthy. Be that person you strive for. The one your kids look up to. Strong, steady, kind and loving. Lovingly detach. Become that leading man. That's attractive. You can handle this.

FG - you can handle this my friend. Your sheer tenacity of effort here and the brevity of your input prove it...to me, for sure, to you?

And I'm happy for her. I really am. And it's good that my kids see that and sense it. It's cordial now.

Mulesqb - you are an elevated soul my good man, what a fantastic statement. In fact, the best we all could hope for, should it not go the piece'ing direction for us, IMHO. Not that piecing is most important as long as "self-ing" is met.

And FG, long time friend in terms of being friends in a place where time moves slower than time outside of here, do this weekend FG-style. Do it this one well. I have a great one lined up with my son - what are you planning?

[mulesqb]

Hmmmm....no isn't this something familiar. FB message from cousin two-three months ago stating "I told her you can run from [CT118], but you can't run from you. And then she deleted me as a friend". FWIW ForGump.

I think this is pretty common. WW are just looking for yes men. If you're not one. You're out.

FG - you can handle this my friend. Your sheer tenacity of effort here and the brevity of your input prove it...to me, for sure, to you?

It starts with you FG. I know the person in the threads i have been reading can handle this. No doubt.

Mulesqb - you are an elevated soul my good man, what a fantastic statement. In fact, the best we all could hope for, should it not go the piece'ing direction for us, IMHO. Not that piecing is most important as long as "self-ing" is met.

thx CT. Honestly time helps. An old poster who I respect more than anyone (who has recently showed up here...his name is Bworl...he was an absolute rock for me), sent me a excerpt years ago about forgiveness. It was one of the most important things I have read in my life. I will look back in my posts and see if I can find it to re-post it. I think you will like it. If I find it I will post on your thread. Understand, it probably took me about two years after he sent it to me before I could put it into action.

The other part is the kids. If one of their parents struggle, they struggle. If they see their parents not getting along, they struggle. If you have kids, once you have yourself in shape they are an incredible source for strength. You want to show them how to handle adversity. You want to show them integrity. You want to shield them from as much of your situation as you can. Trust me, they are sooo much better off and I have proof of that.


You guys will all get there no matter how things play out. As we talked about on your thread, enjoy the ride. Redefining yourself in your adulthood is a major life event. One that plants the seeds for the next phase. It's up to one's self how that goes.

Strength and Honor.

Mules

[ForGump]

I am just so damn tired

Ten years of loving someone doesn't just go away because she's acting like a monster

The heart ...

[mulesqb]

I am just so damn tired

Ten years of loving someone doesn't just go away because she's acting like a monster

The heart ...

There's no script FG. Be you. What is the heart telling you?

You can handle this.

Strength and Honor.

Mules

[ForGump]

Much has happened. Too much. I don't want to go into it here, at least not now. Day-to-day things are much more friendly. I don't know -- I don't think -- that the basic geography has changed.

In that sense, my heart is the same: as long as my W and I are able to treat each other in an amicable way, every day I have full access to my kids is a gift.

I could feel differently at some point.

[mulesqb]

In that sense, my heart is the same: as long as my W and I are able to treat each other in an amicable way, every day I have full access to my kids is a gift.

Sounds like you are listening to your heart. You can handle this FG.

You truly are Strength and Himor.

Mules

[ForGump]

Thanks for being there Mules. Your testimony of your own experience gives me a lot more hope and strength than you probably realize.

Though it might be a simple idea, the idea of being true to one's heart is a good reminder. Something I need to hear on a daily basis.

[PsySara]

You can never go wrong falling back on kindness and strength. Sending you healthy vibes and peace, my friend.

[ForGump]

Nights are quiet. And I'm alone, able to think.

While my life, and my family's life, are in limbo, I don't want time to go by meaninglessly. I want every day to count for something. An obvious thought, I guess. Or, obviously, life and meaning happens whether or not I'm conscious of it. So maybe what I mean is I want to be more conscious of how every day is meaningful.

So, each night, I'm going to think of one thing I want to get out of the next day. Something positive, something fulfilling, something meaningful. By default, this life in limbo lets me see the kids when I wake up and in the evening. In addition to those things, I want to be aware of one more good thing the day brings. Whether in relation to the kids, for my work, or something personal just for me.

For tomorrow, it will be to help a friend with job search.

[Cherry]

Forgump, I haven't checked up on you for a while, and I just want to send a lot of love to you in this difficult time.

I'm sure you've seen on my thread the trials and tribulations of my wh. He too has a lot of issues and needs medical help, only he is in utter denial and meets this with anger. Unfortunately, as hurtful as it is, they're adults, and we can't force them. They need to want to help themselves. It's hard to learn to switch the default of helping them off.

I agree with Sara about still acting with kindness. Sure we could hit back at the ws with anger, but where does that get us?! I find it better for myself if I can be kind and cordial, and I know by doing that I'm doing the right thing for my child.

I like your idea of doing something meaningful that you want to get out of the next day. Just make sure some of that is something for you.