Then earlier today, amid an exchange of messages about what our kids may or may not know, she says she'd like to talk later this week about "an idea" she has.
I'm guessing the idea has to do with financial, housing, and/or child custody dimensions of our divorce. I'm sure she still believes that getting out of this attraction-less marriage is the key to her happiness.
Hi FG - Quick question...did you ever find out what her "idea" is? Sorry if I missed it..
Mules
M 43 W 44 M 17 T 22 S16,12,9 Bomb 2/05/08 I served her 1/06/09 S'd 3/15/09 D'd 12/21/09
"Tough times don't last, tough people do." --My Dad to me years ago, me to my boys now.
No. We were supposed to meet 1-on-1 for her to tell me about it, but my FIL just got diagnosed w/ cancer last Friday and we've been dealing with that, so I'm guessing she'll bring it up later.
The only real, lasting solution for my situation is for my W to be treated by a professional for her mental problems. Her problems are bigger than just two normal adults having marriage trouble. It's been there all her life.
Me: 50, MLC/WW 45 Young kids Nov 2015: BD1 Apr 2016: BD2 Jan 2017: W filed Feb 2017: D final
No. We were supposed to meet 1-on-1 for her to tell me about it, but my FIL just got diagnosed w/ cancer last Friday and we've been dealing with that, so I'm guessing she'll bring it up later.
The only real, lasting solution for my situation is for my W to be treated by a professional for her mental problems. Her problems are bigger than just two normal adults having marriage trouble. It's been there all her life.
So sorry to hear that FG. You have a lot on your plate.
I am very familiar with a WW with issues. Went through it, big time. Does she acknowledge the problems or get angry if you bring it up?
You will handle this.
Strength and Honor.
Mules
M 43 W 44 M 17 T 22 S16,12,9 Bomb 2/05/08 I served her 1/06/09 S'd 3/15/09 D'd 12/21/09
"Tough times don't last, tough people do." --My Dad to me years ago, me to my boys now.
I and others close to her have told her that she needs professional help, and she gets angry. Most advice I've read about BPD says the sufferer will reject help until s/he hits rock bottom -- and even then, maybe.
I'm having a rough week. Too much pressure @ work, so have been working around the clock, w/ little time for myself. Should be better next week.
Me: 50, MLC/WW 45 Young kids Nov 2015: BD1 Apr 2016: BD2 Jan 2017: W filed Feb 2017: D final
I and others close to her have told her that she needs professional help, and she gets angry. Most advice I've read about BPD says the sufferer will reject help until s/he hits rock bottom -- and even then, maybe.
This is a tough trail to navigate. Been there. Done that. Didn't work. She ended up severing ties with everyone who told her to get help. She got help a few years later and now sees my kids twice a month for about an hour and a half. Unfortunately she will have to make the decision to go herself no matter how much collateral damage is caused. It will require you to exhibit enormous strength and honor.
This is not an easy journey FG. More important than ever to take care of yourself. Keep your body and your mind healthy. Be that person you strive for. The one your kids look up to. Strong, steady, kind and loving. Lovingly detach. Become that leading man. That's attractive. You can handle this.
Quote:
I'm having a rough week. Too much pressure @ work, so have been working around the clock, w/ little time for myself. Should be better next week.
TGIF..Go attack the weekend. Get your rest. Than go GAL. Embrace the journey. All good rides have highs and lows.
Strength and Honor.
Mules
M 43 W 44 M 17 T 22 S16,12,9 Bomb 2/05/08 I served her 1/06/09 S'd 3/15/09 D'd 12/21/09
"Tough times don't last, tough people do." --My Dad to me years ago, me to my boys now.
Just curious -- what was the professional diagnosis that was given for your W, when she finally got help a few years later?
I honestly don't know FG. She went 3 or 4 years after we were divorced. She made the decision to go herself and is being treated for it. Afterwards she did gravitate back to some of her family. She is now with a guy who seems to balance her. And I'm happy for her. I really am. And it's good that my kids see that and sense it. It's cordial now.
M 43 W 44 M 17 T 22 S16,12,9 Bomb 2/05/08 I served her 1/06/09 S'd 3/15/09 D'd 12/21/09
"Tough times don't last, tough people do." --My Dad to me years ago, me to my boys now.
Hey buddy, hope you have a relaxing and recharging weekend!
M 10yrs T 13yrs BD #1Oct 2015-PA between WAH and COW BD #2 April 2016-WH resumed PA, she broke it off Jan 2 2017 WH says he wants divorce April '17-Letting go 2018 D busted DD8, DS6, DS3
