cheesyt 4- no more doormat!

[maybs]

I am so glad you know that you are smart, young, have a great job and you do have a lot to look forward to...you are right,

I'm not saying you should D, only you can decide that but this is true. Whatever you decide I'm sure you will be fine.

[NYGal]

And cheesyt is smart, young, has a great job and is amazing in other ways, too. What ever is her W thinking?!?!?!?!?
Glad you got to watch some cable, cheesy. Maybe if you're lucky your friend will invite you over for a beer and Rachel Maddow on MSNBC!

[cheesyt]

thanks hawker, maybs. I'm going to be just fine.

NYGAL, I love msmbc and beer.

I pissed the w off....

W finally texted asking if I was picking D up and keeping her over night. I told her yes. asked W what left over bills I was on for the house. Cable and Internet. I asked if we could switch them to her name she said she didn't know but i was "welcome to call" W also asked about looking into D. I told her that was not what I wanted so I was not going to look into it (I know I lied...I am looking into it) W asked what I wanted I told her to be with her. (I know this is bad DB) To which she replied
W- ok well that isn't the case for us.
I'm assuming US is her and D. W changed the subject.
By then I had already picked up the phone, called the cable company. they can't transfer it over to W. Told the lady I wanted to cancel it. The next billing cycle ends on the 15th. So the cable will be shut off then. Texted my W the details.
W - great. so I'm going to loose all my recordings. wonderful. thanks.
WTF! W is worried about her recordings...I lost EVERYTHING. and she's worried about her shows....

W also told me D has Spanish lessons (I am fluent never once did W ask me to teach her, but whatever) on Wednesdays (MY days) so The only day left Is Monday IF i want. I told her I have previous engagements and that I had scheduled Wednesdays just for D. W said too bad so sad (in diff words) but basically I'm out of luck. I also Called the internet company, they can transfer over ownership so we transferred it to her name.

to conclude W asked (even though I had already told her) what day the cable would be canceled. told her the 15th.
W- as in 4days?
me- yes that's when the new billing cycle starts / ends
W- wow, ok. go ahead and take over the rest of your bills effective today. and put an address change in with all the bills you have / the post office. no need to have anything coming to the house since you are now off all the bills from this house. thanks.

I told her I had already changed the address on my bills. but thank you for reminding me to do it with the post office.

To be clear I have not paid ANY of W's bills or house bills since May. They were simply under my name still. W was sending out a bill pay for my cell phone and a cc...W likes bill pay, and She offered in the beginning, when we were "figuring stuff out" I agreed but had slowly taken most of my bills back. Which is why she made the comment about me taking my bills back. Happily.

I know most / all WW's are crazy. Mine can just take it to another level. My W has a crazy side where she's ALWAYS said really bad and mean and disrespectful things out of anger. W also did stuff sometimes to "get back" at me. Which is why I'm a little...hesitant? maybe scared? of making her mad. She just takes crazy to a whole new level.

Emailed my insurance guy to get that ball rolling. I have a feeling W will drop me from the insurance any day now. The cell phones are under my name...Have a feeling she'll text me one day saying W and MIL have switched. Speaking of MIL she did text me once this past week. I kept it short and simple. Didn't engage.

Will see W on Thursday morning. As I am dropping D off at the house before school.

-never a dull moment here.

[hawker]

Cheesy, I am proud of you!!! Wow your W is selfish and crazy...its not funny but it made me laugh when she said she would lose all the shows she recorded....not funny as in HAHA funny, but as in crazy what they are thinking about....your right, you have lost everything and she is worried about a TV show....blah!!!! I get why you would be scared about making her mad if she does go a little crazy but it is awesome that you didn't back down!!! Sounds like you are in a good place!! Hang in there...I wanna watch MSMBC AND DRINK BEER 2...HAHAH.

[cheesyt]

Totally not ok. W brought up D again. Through text. Twice in one day is a record.
I know I have been marinating it in my mind for a few weeks.
But she'd never brought it up.
W - Can you just tell me now if you plan to drag it out? Do you plan to argue or not agree to a divorce?
Me - I'm not going to drag it out. But I want it to be fair and I won't let you walk all over me.
W - I want to just separate. What is it that you want?

Idk why but this hurts. I guess I was under the impression because I had been thinking about D that I would be ok. Not the case at all.
Not sure what W meant with asking me what I want again. I had told her earlier. I don't know what exactly she means anyway. I spoke to a friend and she suggested I stop replying to W. That perhaps w was upset or still mad, and my friend is probably right. The more I thought about it the more it made sense. W takes a while to calm down and not be mad. So I stopped replying.

Had a really bad night last night too. I saw some old Facebook post W left on my Facebook. i lost it. My w is gone. My kind loving beautiful w is long gone and I miss her. I want her.
I really just would like a hug.
I am making friends, I am. But I'm not really close to anyone.
As I was with w. She was my person.
I no longer have a person.

-low low low. My least favorite place.

[maybs]

1. Where is the sign up sheet for this MSNBC and beer party...

2. Cheesy you're doing great. I know it doesn't feel good. And even if you are considering D there's a big difference when it seems like it's a reality. I'm sure you're W was upset and if you would have continued to speak with her she would have just gotten more upset and been more likely to say and do hurtful things.

Give her some space and also take the space because YOU need it. Cool down, think things through.

It's ridiculous she was mad about shows and if you want to get all psychological on it she might not even have actually been mad about the shows specifically but about the fact that you're showing her what it will be like without you. (I know a bit of mind reading but I find it hard to believe she was seriously upset about her f-ing tivo...)

Keep your head up. You got this!

[NYGal]

MSNBC, pizza, salad and beer is at my house, next Monday, 7:00 p.m. We'll watch Rachel Maddow. Maybs, Hawk, you are welcome to join us! At 8 Cheesyt can pick whatever cable show she wants.

[hawker]

I wish........

[lt0402]

Cheesyt, I get where you are right now. I've gotten to a point where, most of the time, I'm somewhat indifferent to how this thing turns out. However, sometimes W hits me with one of her comments about S and D and it's like a kick to the gut. That has a tendency to weigh on me for a bit as well.

You're an amazing person! You're hurt bc you are still driving and pushing for what is right. Even though our armor is starting to harden, we still have soft spots that keep us exposed to our Ws. It's not a sign of weakness, I'd say it's a sign of character and strength. Don't let it weigh on you!

Now about this beer ya'll keep talking about...

[hawker]

Hang in there Cheesyt.....it is ok to have waves of emotions but don't make big decisions based on those feelings...maybs is right...cool down, take some time to yourself and give her space.

LT...you can bring the beer to the party...haha