As mentioned, even the week before we had such a happy week together. She said that she'd "gotten good at putting a face on things" which I understand, but I saw her smile and happy at times when there was no need to pretend or for any falseness.
Equally, just two days before, she was very adamant that we we're going to have sex (not that this was a hardship mind), but surely if you'd fallen out of love with someone you wouldn't chose to be physically intimate with that person would you?....
So because she put on a mask and seemed happy to you, you interpret that she was in fact happy inside.
You KNOW how she is feeling.
I think you don't know, again if she is depressed like you how does that really feel?
How do you fix your own depression?
I think you need to stop focusing on how she feels and worry about yourself.
My Wife would spend hours on her phone on social media - anything to escape her own life, I guess. She has assured me that there is no-one else and I do believe her.
There's a 98.67% chance that she's having an online EA.
Cadet, my train of thought was that she seemed genuinely happy in the relationship - even to the point that she was telling me. She's very forward and I beleived that had she been that unhappy that she wouldn't even pretend...
...obvioulsy I'm wrong here, but when we've been together for that long, I thought I'd have picked up on that.
M - 36 / W - 32 S - 3 Together - 18 Yrs / Married - 10 Yrs Bomb Dropped - 4th Sept 2016 Moved out - 4th Sept 2016
Doodler - My Wife used to use social media as an escape due to depression and would spend hours flitting between one site and another. This was a form of escapism due to her depression.
Whilst I'm not stupid enough to understand that this may be a possibility, it seems a little remiss of you to throw a statistic like that at an unknown situation.
What's your basis for such a statement?...
M - 36 / W - 32 S - 3 Together - 18 Yrs / Married - 10 Yrs Bomb Dropped - 4th Sept 2016 Moved out - 4th Sept 2016
RBG80 - I would agree with you. My own W spent a huge amount of time online as an escape. I'm not sure that OM even has a computer.
On BD H52, W50 T27, M26 S21, D23 BD-9-Mar-16 D-15-Jan-18 Final-19-Apr-18 I am a storyteller. The story may do you no good. But a story is never for the listener. It is always for the one who tells
The statistic is bogus; it was a bit of my off-beat humour (see I used the British spelling). Sorry about the icky humour when you find yourself in this terrible situation. (Now you know why my wife divorced me.)
Based on anecdotal information from this forum, when wives do a quick turnabout, from loving you to despising you, there's almost always someone else involved. Usually, there's a lot of cognitive dissonance and they've convinced themselves, and will try to convince you, that there's nothing going on. "He's just a friend." That may not be the case with your wife, but if I had to bet my hard earned money, I'm going to go with the best odds.
How does that change things for you? Maybe not at all. Mostly, doodler needs to learn how to keep his mouth shut.
No please don't "keep your mouth shut" Doodler. I fully appreciate that there may be someone else and it would crush me if that were the case.
I just wondered if there was any science behind the specifics of your stats...
She used escapism massively when her depression was at its worst and this contributed to her feeling low (as people on FaceBook, Twitter, etc only tend to post about how wonderful their lives are). I think that this just became a habit for her.
M - 36 / W - 32 S - 3 Together - 18 Yrs / Married - 10 Yrs Bomb Dropped - 4th Sept 2016 Moved out - 4th Sept 2016
I just feel so lost and down. Its as if my future has been stolen from me and I see no future for myself.
I've been with my W my entire adult life and have no way how to be on my own. Its just absolutely blind sided me.
Someone else has summed it up well on here - 4 weeks ago we were "happily married" celebrating my birthday with a show in London that she'd arranged for me, and now only weeks later I'm on a Divorce forum board trying to figure out what the hell has happened....
M - 36 / W - 32 S - 3 Together - 18 Yrs / Married - 10 Yrs Bomb Dropped - 4th Sept 2016 Moved out - 4th Sept 2016
I just wondered if there was any science behind the specifics of your stats...
Unfortunately - I would say yes.
Even if their is no other REAL human being their is almost always someone else. That may be a person that is a fantasy but whats the difference? I know that my ex worshipped romance novels and was in love with the men from those books.
Read Sandi's rules and start living them.
It is time to stop focusing on her and focus on someone you can control.
