Sotto's tootling along

[Sotto]

I'm just reposting this so I can find it later...really interesting quote below:

Just read something on the web about a fellow who went through depression and describes the experience, especially in regards to how it affects their thoughts of their spouse:

(re-posted for educational purposes)
"The longing to leave one’s intimate partner brings out something that isn’t much discussed in descriptions of depression. It is the active face of the illness. We often focus on the passive symptoms, the inactivity, the isolation, sense of worthlessness, disruption of focused thought, lack of will to do anything. But paradoxically the inner loss and need can drive depressed people to frenzied action to fill the great emptiness in the center of their lives. They may long to replace that inadequate self with an imagined new one that makes up for every loss. "

The reason I post that here is to perhaps point to how depression, as what is believed the underlying condition throughout MLC, may be a factor in the MLCer's drive to fill the void they feel within themselves. Even desperately so, at an aggressive pace. Can anyone say "OP" and "replay"?

[CaliGuy]

Thats a great description of replay

[job]

Sotto,

Great description and yes, it enforces what we talk about around here, i.e., depression and how they need to find things to distract them and make them happy, even if it is for a short period of time and once the novelty of that particular thing wears off, they start looking again for something else to distract them and give them that "feel good" feeling.

Thanks for sharing.

[Sotto]

One of the most impassioned things XH said to me around the time of BD was that he felt a void right at the very centre of his heart. The quote above really resonated with me and it does help me remember to keep working towards compassion.

Been in touch with SS this week. He's had a bit of a rough start to the new term and is struggling with a couple of his new subjects. His Mum said he cried a couple of times in the mornings. I sent him best wishes and asked him to let me know if I can help in any way. He knows I was actually a college drop out before returning to education a couple of years later..so my chequered past may be helpful to him I hope.

Been busy at work. I've increased my hours and am leading on a new project which will run for the next year or so. My boss and I spent a couple of hours in a room today getting started with the planning for that. I also spent the day at NG's office and we had a few little chats, which was nice.

A few social plans this week. Black tie evening on Friday with work and movie with a friend on Saturday, and birthday party on Sunday....should be nice.

Xx

[Rouky]

Good to read that you are doing so well Sotto. What an example and inspiration you are. In your post I can read a great deal of excitement for your new project. I wish you all the best xx

[bttrfly]

best of luck my dear with the new project. you'll do great, as always. thanks for that post. i think the hardest thing about replay is depersonalizing that which feels so very personal. xoxoxo

[pbetra]

Hi Sotto,
Im not as seasoned as the others here. However, I couldn't resist checking this thread with a title like that!

Your progress is VERY inspiring & indicative of hope to be had (if we all plug away - or in your case 'tootle along' ). GAL really does make a difference - whatever 'version' one is able to utilize. With habit, GAL is a 'core strengthener,' & a trip away from the upheaval created by mlc.

I know I will be back to read this again, as my new homework also includes up & coming 'survivors' of this experience. A necessary read & reminder for us all.

Thanks for tootling by with news of your full, (!!) new life! Best wishes always, p.

[Huddy]

That's a very good piece of descriptive writing about MLC'ers inner workings there. Again, thanks for sharing.

You seem to be quite comfortable with GAL'ing, so why not see if NG would like to go for a beer after work? I know he's out of a R as well, but it could just be a GAL activity for you - nothing more.

Top banana!

[Sotto]

Thanks guys - pbetra, your BD was similar to mine...sounds like you are doing well and kudos to you - thanks for dropping by.

Huddy, thanks for posting. You may not have seen on a previous thread, but NG suggested it might be nice to meet for a drink. I said yes and we arranged it. He texted on the morning to ask if I would mind if we postponed as he was having a rough time. I said no problem & hope things improve. He hasn't suggested re-arranging so far.

I did text him a couple of weeks later, saying let me know if you want us to re-arrange and he hasn't come back to me. When I see him, he's attentive and seems interested in me. I think he just got cold feet, or is still working through some stuff, or whatever. I haven't raised it and dropped back into friendly colleague mode again...more healing time is good anyway I think.

Take care :)x

[Huddy]

Yes, I missed post about NG. That's a positive though. Maybe he's just shy, or maybe, having fell off the horse once, he doesn't think it'll be comfortable anymore.

Whatever way it goes, have fun!