Hi Altair... I'll have to stop by your thread. For me, we were way past the point of me trying to reach her based on her LL. I try a bit when I see her, but because of our path, I think I would be in the same spot without even knowing about LLs. To me, speaking my wife's LL is something for the long term. I can tell when she hits mine though.
Hi Pinn, I don't really talk about it (yet) in my thread. It's just something I've been noticing over the past few months (after I was instructed to buy LL). Just tiny interactions and I get these gushing-type responses. I guess his love tank was really bone dry.
me 42 H 32 T 7yr M 6yr BD 5/2016 ILYBNILWY Separated 7/2016
Hey Pinn, I did a quick catch up of what's happened recently with you.
Ok. So W and OM are over and she started poking her head out a bit? It's excitingly terrifying isn't it? I'm not sure what your W LL are, they way you talk about them being long term makes me think they are similar to my W which is quality time and acts of service. So it makes it tough to show her those when we are living apart.
I have a friend who is a bit over a year past his bday with his W and so far he has called every step of way with W. From the venom to the break up with OM once he found out they are moving in together to when she started popping her head up. His advice has been solid so far. The point is that it seems like Exs follow a script they haven't read. They just follow it.
So it's important to listen to people that have been down the path. Keep up your good work.
The person that you will spend the most time with in your life is yourself, so make yourself as interesting as possible.
Thanks Tyler... I have actually been down this path myself so I know the script pretty well myself. She started popping her head in Dec/Jan actually I resisted those pretty well. We have been seeing each other since mid June and just recently things have gone up to another level. It will probably be time for a real important talk soon.
You are right on her LL's. Her primary is definitely quality time (particularly quality conversation) and I think her secondary is act's of service. I think if you were to ask her she would say physical touch, but I just don't that is it. The other two are definitely not her. So yea, it is hard to work on those when you don't live together. At this point, those do not matter so much, they will become important later I think. Right now, we are on the verge of replaying a start of a relationship again, for about the 5th time in 20 years. The question I have to figure out is... is this what I want? Do I want to put in this effort?
Also, since this is the second physco she has been involved who both hate me and would like to see me 6 feet under, maybe this isn't worth it. She talks the talk now but in 2-3 years will we be right back here again? I don't know.. the chances of that are not zero though, that I do know. I keep picturing here trotting around with her new hair and skimpy clothes 15 months ago, she really was whacked. I think this weekend I am going to ask her what the deal was, we have to start getting into some stuff. She is finally admitting that other stuff was going on besides just issues with our marriage.
That's is a lot of rambles and a stream of random thoughts. Now let me go make sure my house is locked down for the night so I can try and sleep without felon coming to bother me.
WW came and surprised me at my 10k race this morning with the pup. That was nice and surprising to see as I rounded a corner. Things are looking positive. Is this the beginning stages of piecing? I think it is and I think that my time line is pretty good meaning that things are happening at the right speed. I need to figure out what I really want now. I already have similar thoughts as Lim and Blu and it scares me to see how hard piecing could be.
You are definitely not in Piecing. Piecing is when the WAS actively tells you they want to get back together and starts actions on their own to make things right. Like if she signed you both up for MC.
M-43 W-40 2D - 9 and 5
Emotion, yet peace. Ignorance, yet knowledge. Passion, yet serenity. Chaos, yet harmony. Death, yet a new life.
Thanks for that Bond. I appreciate it. Maybe I am not there quite yet... but I feel like it is on the verge. I think she has taken some action, especially lately. But your point is well taken. I won't worry about it and just keep on keeping on.
Have you read through my threads lately? I am wondering what your recommendations would be.
No, that has been over for a while though we have to sit down and discuss it. I was thinking about maybe doing that this weekend, I don't know. Read the last few pages for a few interesting developments there.
I don't get many responses especially from vets, so when you see my name pop up please do check in. My posts are usually pretty short and I appreciate your blunt style (it won't bother me). I always read what you have to say. This stage of my situation is much harder to deal with than the beginning.
Hey Pinn, great to hear you sounding so positive! It's been a long time coming for you. You have been so patient! I hope she appreciates your commitment to your M and to your W!
Me - 47 H - 45 D-16 M - 6 years Separated - May 16
Don't leave me behind can't you see me I'm shining... (Years & Years - 'Shine')
