WAS or what 7

[roist]

First off thank you for the time and effort you put into this. It means a lot to have someone else make time to help me/support me. All along you have gone beyond simply supporting me.

I will reply to your words shortly but wanted to acknowledge having read them and appreciate them.

Since my looonnngggg post I have recentered myself and I am pretty okay. The way I see it is if my W felt/feels as bad as I did/do I want to not give up on her. It is a lousy place to be. I guess I am feeling empathy and compassion instead of frustration and despair.

I know that probably rings of codependency but I don't think it is. I would love to fix her and make her happy but I accept I can't.This is more about me being who I want to be and being empathic is part of that new me.

I'll expand on this when I get the chance. But I actually am doing good.

Thanks again

[SH_]

My dear friend roist.

Just checking in on you and seeing how your gratitude project is coming.

And to roist,

A quick question for those of ye tuned into the gratitude attitude!. I wanted to bring mine a step further and actually send people thank you cards.

But three people on my list are W and her parents. For those who have not read my thread, I am still with W but R is minimal and we are glorified roommates with kids.

My q is is this a good idea? I don't want it to be viewed by W for anything more or less than what it is, me saying thank you. I can decide about W myself, but am unsure about her parents. I have reason to thank them.

To clarify I intend sending 52 cards in total over the space of a year.I am unsure of how to explain to w, why I am doing this. Most of ye will understand the benefits of being grateful and appreciating life.

Even in writing this I realised that I need to do what I want to do. But instead of erasing I'll leave it out there if anyone wants to comment.

Thanks

I know you answered your own question, but I believe, that gratitude does not need to be explained, nor justified.
Do it for you and no matter what the W or her parents think. Gratitude like forgiveness is for you and when it is sincere, no judgement, not reaction will matter.
Just my2c my dear friend.

[roist]

new thread in mlc section

I appreciate my time here in newcomers and am thankful for all the help and support received here. I am not leaving here, but feel maybe it is time for a change.Feel free to pop over to see me.

I will answer recent comments here asap.

Best wishes

[SH_]

Very interesting......mlc eh?

I will swing by to keep up with you.

[roist]

The group over there are long timers and even if W may not be full mlc I wanted to chat with others who have stood longer than me. Maybe the change will get me posting again: n my thread.

You will be most welcome. I will reply to your recent question too!

[SH_]

I like your approach to seek out wisdom in a different room.
It reminds me of something I heard once.
If you are the smartest person in the room, then you are in the wrong room.
Going to MLC will give you some different perspective for your journey that you can learn from.

You appear to have found some good feedback and shared some good insights over there.

Do be sure to focus on you and do share the good times and thoughts you have to main again balance with the difficult stuff.

You are one tuff dude and your example and persistence are things that I admire and hope to be able to emulate in my own journey.....

I'll catch ya in your new digs

[roist]

Thanks SH. To answer your previous question I am still pondering and formulating my gratitude card project. Maybe 52 is ambitious but I think I will send a good few at the beginning and then once a week !fortnight.

I was hesitant for several reasons but one was that it ressembled the act of someone suicidal near the end. Or at least brought back a similar concept I had during darker days a few years back.

I am taking my time because I have a lot on at the moment and prefer to do it right than regretting a rushed job. But I will start St the latest by the American thanksgiving.

Zephyr I will reply to your recent thoughts too before leaving hete

[roist]

Sh yes I like to seek out other wisdom, but I would not go as far as thinking I have outgrown those here. There are many wonderful wise folk here, that I value. Without being here, I would not have followed the same path. I simply would not have been able to. I will not forget that and will pay it back if I can.

[SH_]

roist......
Please don't mis interpret my quote about the room....
It is not about out growing it....
nor is it about the help you can offer to the others in this room...

It is about your opportunity for growth....

It was said to me as I tend to feel more comfortable in the room where I am looked to for knowledge and help....
I justified staying in that place as my way of giving back.
The point to me, was, don't forget about your own growth.

Come back to the room to visit often and help those that are working to upgrade their own room, but, be sure you go to the room with those that can help you grow.

roist my friend, you deserve the opportunity to grow, and in that manner you will be even more equipped and better able to share here with those that you will pay it back to.

Don't over think it....
You know what I mean here...
Please accept the encouragement and wisdom I am sharing with you......


“Gracious acceptance is an art - an art which most never bother to cultivate. We think that we have to learn how to give, but we forget about accepting things, which can be much harder than giving.... Accepting another person's gift is allowing him to express his feelings for you.” - Alexander McCall Smith

I have seen the advice to you in your new room to do more for you.....
Accept that gift..cultivate the art of accepting this, my dear friend.....

[roist]

SH, no worries. I took it that way. I just wanted to clarify my feelings. Best wishes.