The kids room is simply two beds, a seat, a wardrobe and a table. Quite bare and basic. Same with W's room. SD has made an effort to make hers a bit homely.
When we moved out, W put the rest of our furniture/possessions in to storage.
M 45 W 52 SD22 S9 D8 BD 6 April 2015 Not living together 4 Dec 2015
Odd day really. I'm getting older and I notice I need to go to the toilet in the middle of the night now. That's disturbing my sleep, plus other stresses at work, I am feeling a bit tired right now. I woke up this morning, and couldn't open my right eye. It was weeping considerably and it took about an hour to be able to get it open. Managed to make it to work, but it's really sore, and I picked up my new glasses today. I managed to get a tiny stone out of my eye, so I'm guessing that it's got under my eyelid and scratched the surface of my eye. Ow!
Yes, W does appear to be a bit more parental. I haven't had any proper spew since the summer, but no real warmth either. So, stuck really. GAL trip planned for the weekend after next, so I'm looking forward to that. No need to leave the kids stuff here, if they want it.
M 45 W 52 SD22 S9 D8 BD 6 April 2015 Not living together 4 Dec 2015
I've had the kids this weekend. As Job suggested, I sent her a picture of the kids on our day out yesterday. I know she's seen it on 'whats app', but she didn't respond. It was a great picture of my S & D hugging.
Me and the kids have had a great weekend, and W made contact about 1625, saying she was on her way, via the shops.
When she arrived, I told her that I was having the first week of the upcoming school holidays off. I've already booked it, and I have a meeting that I need to attend in the second week. W went off alarming saying I should have consulted her (I replied that I didn't have to), that I should compromise (like she did when she abandoned the kids when she went for her tummy tuck operation) as she was planning to go and see her parents and that she would have to re-arrange all her hair dressing appointments. After I kissed the kids, she left in a flouncing mood.
It's all becoming a bit of a 'argh' as I don't see any change in her at. No warmth, no visible unhappiness, no reaching out, nothing. It's the usual MLC diet of 'me, me, me' and trying to control my movements etc. I also got the threat of if I didn't change my holiday week 'you won't se the kids'. I'm just losing any hope here and begin thinking that I should just call quits. Patience is a virtue, but after so long, you do wonder when.
Anyway, off for a bath - a good soak always restores my frayed nerves!
M 45 W 52 SD22 S9 D8 BD 6 April 2015 Not living together 4 Dec 2015
Trust me, she was happy to see the photo of S & D, but she's not going to say anything to you about it. Just let it go and go on about your business. However, she may mention it later on when you least expect it.
Well, you certainly have given her ample notice about when you are going to be off. She can't have her cake and it too. She's got ample time to reschedule things and besides, she can take the children to see their grandparents. I'm sure they would love to see the kids. She'll get over her snit.
Yes, she's still in the "me, me, me" mode. However, you are getting stronger and not taking her BS like she thought you would. Your actions are speaking for more loudly than words.
Keep up the good work!
Sit quietly, the answers will reveal themselves when you least expect them to. The past is gone, the present is a gift and you need to focus on today, allow the future to reveal itself when it is ready.
When she had her tummy tuck operation, she kind of showed a bit of underbelly - you know, a chink of unhappiness. She's rebuilt it all though. It's as if she can't admit she needs to backtrack and is digging her heels in. I don't know if I should be outreaching more or not. She has always ben stubborn and never admitted she was wrong. Maybe she's afraid of that. I know I don't 'need her', but I 'want her'. I mean that in the practical sense, as in doing my own thing etc.
When I look back, she was showing signs back in early 2014, then recovered a bit in the summer, then went cold again, then warm at Christmas, then cold up to her birthday. It's a hard slog. I wish there was a sign book showing me the things to look for.
Anyway, had my bath, ironing to do and work tomorrow!
M 45 W 52 SD22 S9 D8 BD 6 April 2015 Not living together 4 Dec 2015
I would stay the course. You did a very nice thing by sharing the photos w/her. When she sees that you are not going to cave to her coldness, she'll eventually come around.
Sit quietly, the answers will reveal themselves when you least expect them to. The past is gone, the present is a gift and you need to focus on today, allow the future to reveal itself when it is ready.
I want to stay the course, she's my wife, but I don't want to waste my life. I do have a problem with her going to her parents - my SIL will be there and she'll twist the knife, royally, whilst she's there. My SIL is somebody who loves people's misery. If there is somebody in crisis, she's there like a junkie, lapping it up and offering her own dubious life experiences to the mix.
Anyway, today's rant over. My ironing can wait 'til tomorrow!
M 45 W 52 SD22 S9 D8 BD 6 April 2015 Not living together 4 Dec 2015
You can stay the course and continue to move forward and live your life as if she's not going to return. If she returns, she'll have quite a bit of catching up to do since you will have grown by leaps and bounds.
I'm sorry about your SIL, but if your w chooses to go visit her parents, there's nothing you can do but hope and pray that things will be okay. You can't control her (I know you already know that) and if you were to say something to her about going there, she would be even more determined to do so. She may have just said that to get a rise out of you, but you didn't react.
Let's hope and pray that w/your schedule changes, hers will also change as well.
Yep, ironing sure can wait. I don't know which I detest more...ironing or dusting. LOL!
Sit quietly, the answers will reveal themselves when you least expect them to. The past is gone, the present is a gift and you need to focus on today, allow the future to reveal itself when it is ready.
