Hey Mia! I believe what your friend said is spot on. All of it. My H has even told me he's "not going to do a happy dance when the D is final". My kids have made it very clear that I should move forward with my life, though they are very upset by this. I had to push my oldest early on to even speak to her father, as she was so upset with him for dropping the bomb right after her wedding (way to mess up a brand new marriage with major stress). They are working through it, though. I know this whole thing s#cks, but I think making sure your kids maintain a relationship with their father is something worth pushing, even if he isn't all that great at connecting. We need to be the teacher, the strong parent. Encourage them to understand and be there for him even as you go dark. You will not regret it. Be the lighthouse.
M-51 H-54 2D-27 and 25 M-26 yrs Bombshell and IHS 7-29-15 He moved out 10-3-15 D filed 1-27-16 D final 10-27-16
Hi citizen, I suspect she is right also. Just everything he is doing seems so knee jerk and suspect sombody else is possibly pushing this!!!
Me I'm trying to get on with work. He wants to behave like a d@ck so be it but he'll have to answer to his kids eventually. He didn't just chose ow over me but he her over his own kids....what a moron
I tend to agree w/your friend. Right now, the divorce is like the brass ring that you reach for when on the merrygoround. He thinks a divorce will make him happy...but after about 6 months of euphoria once the ink is dry, he may very well begin to look for something else to make him happy. The divorce decree is nothing more than a piece of paper and nothing is going to change in the real world. La La Land keeps calling him and until he has that divorce decree in hand, he's going to keep talking about it.
The children are like the last thread on a sweater and it continues to unravel as he continues to pull on it. He's using them as a connection to his old life and as a way to keep a finger on the pulse of your life.
He's in for a very rude awakening as time rolls on.
Sit quietly, the answers will reveal themselves when you least expect them to. The past is gone, the present is a gift and you need to focus on today, allow the future to reveal itself when it is ready.
Because deep down, he still has feelings for you. Those warm and fuzzy feelings are stuffed way, way down into his soul right now because his issues have pushed them down there. Eventually, if he faces his issues, those warm and fuzzy feelings may very well rise to the top once again.
Sit quietly, the answers will reveal themselves when you least expect them to. The past is gone, the present is a gift and you need to focus on today, allow the future to reveal itself when it is ready.
Mia my EH has been coming around much more since the divorce. He has been giving me extra money and tries to take us all out to dinner. He had this pressure he had to be divorced...had to ..all of us be damned!! He is very confused still. He thinks it is normal that he doesn't call the boys.. it is all just strange...he calls me but not the boys... i try not to understand it anymore. I just go with it.
Lol job that has made me laugh...if he had still had feelings for me he is definitely doing his best to hide it.......do they not think the effect on the kids.
They don't think, nor do they care what the effect is like on the children at this time. They figure that they are just kids and will bounce back no matter what.
I'm going to suggest that you go back and re-read the home Cadet posted to you a long time ago or check in on some of the newbies' threads and read it. There is a lot of information there that will help you better understand how the MLCer thinks and possibly behaves.
Sit quietly, the answers will reveal themselves when you least expect them to. The past is gone, the present is a gift and you need to focus on today, allow the future to reveal itself when it is ready.
But you have made me laugh today job. I am knackered first week back at school. Have to drive kids tomorrow to his new rented house tomorrow....need to do it so I know where they are and know how long it takes...but could do without it. Will probably check in lots at weekend as I'm still not used to being completely alone at weekends but I'm getting there
FYI: There are three ways to locate threads: 1) go to the top of the forum and type in the poster's in the "Search" Box; 2) left click on the poster's name and scroll down to postings; and 3) change the display option in the left hand corner to whatever time frame you need and go from there to do a search of the threads.
Sit quietly, the answers will reveal themselves when you least expect them to. The past is gone, the present is a gift and you need to focus on today, allow the future to reveal itself when it is ready.
