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Mia2003 #2702425 09/06/16 11:14 PM
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Well got a response back from his solicitor. He wishes that we give full financial disclosure, informally via solicitors and has asked whether my solicitor is acting with regards to the children and divorce proceedings.

Wow ...this is really it...he has really done this ....don't know whether to laugh or cry

Mia2003 #2702431 09/06/16 11:47 PM
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Hi Mia,
I'm sorry to hear this is moving forward. now is the time that you must look after yourself and the kids. Remember, it's all a business arrangement. Be good to yourself in the coming days and stay strong.


Me- 30's H- 40's
T-10 M-5
I moved out b/c he wanted space- June 15
D filed by H: September 16
Pax_luv #2702432 09/06/16 11:53 PM
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Am so sad he's done this. Has he even thought the effect this will have on the kids??

How could he have destroyed what was a perfectly decent marriage and good family. For what he was ' unhappy' all of a sudden and wanted to screw the office bike!!!

And what does she think....if he can destroy us like this what will happen when he gets bored with her.

Mia2003 #2702447 09/07/16 02:55 AM
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You can't control that. Just control what you can.


M-43 W-40
2D - 9 and 5

Emotion, yet peace.
Ignorance, yet knowledge.
Passion, yet serenity.
Chaos, yet harmony.
Death, yet a new life.

RECONCILED AND WISER
MrBond #2702491 09/07/16 06:21 AM
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I know I can't control it but it's hard dealing with someone who has changed blond recognition and is going against everything he believed in. Did I really make him that unhappy?

MrBond #2702497 09/07/16 06:26 AM
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Mia

I know how hard it is..It is sad
it gets easier to accept after it is done

Feyth has a good point

The D is just a business agreement.
I had to make sure my kids and I would have enough
A Good L is very important

The D means nothing..The OW means nothing also
It usually does not last

I have a good friend whose XH left many years back,,He went through 2 R

My friend and her x became good friends
and he is currently begging her to come back
she doesn't want to-

we never know what will happen


married 14 years
H 42
bomb 2/07 IDLYA
D final 3 /09
M ow D ow
Mia2003 #2702500 09/07/16 06:37 AM
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Mia,

No, you didn't make him that unhappy. Trust me, if he had been so unhappy, he would have left a long, long time ago. Depression makes people think and do things that they normally wouldn't have done. They look at life thru very dark and dingy classes, whereby, we are looking thru clear ones.

Yes, it can be difficult dealing w/the exact opposite image of the man you knew, but you have to stop trying to see him as he once was. You need to find a way to at least accept him for who he is now...a stranger and no expectations. Can you treat him like you would the mailman for now? He's going to be a mixed up mess for quite some time.

I would like for you to take some time and read up on MLC (again). The things you mention are all typical of MLC/depression. It would help you better understand what is going on and hopefully help you to turn the focus back on to you since this is a long process.

I would like to hear more about you, what are your dreams for life about, how are the children, what are their hobbies, etc. It's time to start really living your life for you and your children and leave that man twirling in the wind.


Sit quietly, the answers will reveal themselves when you least expect them to.
The past is gone, the present is a gift and you need to focus on today, allow the future to reveal itself when it is ready.
job #2702591 09/07/16 11:01 AM
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Hi job, well it was my first 'proper' day of teaching today. It felt good. I found my mojo....I'm a good teacher.

Had a lovely chat with my eldest about school.....

Me I love cooking and eating wink ......kids love Pokemon hunting and you tube

Yes the man is twirling in the wind and I notice the kids are starting to see that too and that is what I find sad. He's living a nothing life. I could not imagine not knowing what was going on in my kids life...and not seeing them.

Mia2003 #2702597 09/07/16 11:12 AM
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I'm glad you enjoy teaching and everything went well.

You have so much to be thankful for, i.e., your job and most importantly your children. They are worth every breath you take. Yes, it's very sad that your h is missing out on their lives, but that was his choice and one day, he may regret not being a part of their lives...but for now, it's all about him.


Sit quietly, the answers will reveal themselves when you least expect them to.
The past is gone, the present is a gift and you need to focus on today, allow the future to reveal itself when it is ready.
job #2702822 09/07/16 11:22 PM
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Thanks job,

Had a long chat with a good friend yesterday. She was saying that you get upset over solicitors letters but you have no idea the turmoil he is probably going through. He's clinging onto the kids as that is all he has left. Going on about divorce is another way of of him trying to maintain control. What is going to change with a d.....that's not going to make him happy either.

Tbh even my kids are saying divorce him lol.....that's very telling for me about what they think. They love their dad but all this is just creating distance. They don't even answer the phone to h every night now. Am sure that will be blamed on me.

But they are good kids

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