It's just difficult with the kids. My S especially. His specialist brought up the sep. in our last meeting (in May) as having a negative impact on him. W glazed over it, whilst telling amusing stories about how we used to go out as a family etc. Now that was truly an extraordinary meeting!
Walking, gym, trips away have all been done/being done to keep myself sane (trip away in September; hols with the kids in July; Hong Kong last March - I have to pinch myself about that one!); hours gym every day; hours walk every day, but sometimes, it just seems a plod!
M 45 W 52 SD22 S9 D8 BD 6 April 2015 Not living together 4 Dec 2015
Maybe some social GAL Huddy? I still sense in your posts....once I know what my W is doing, I'll know what I'm doing.
I understand the whole limbo thing (been there for a good while) but that's no reason to put your life on hold in any sense (other than choosing not to file and standing for your M.
Where would you be heading if your W was never coming back? Short of dating (which I presume is off limits as you hope to save your M) what would you be doing with your life?
A little 2x4, but it's my fluffy sledgehammer Huddy x
T 13 M 7 Me 48 H 46 SS 15 BD 7.14 PA D final 5.16 (H filed)
We receive & we lose, and must try to achieve gratitude & embrace with whole hearts whatever of life that remains after the losses - Dubus
You don't have to date, but you can socialize w/people. Grab a coffee w/a friend, go to the nearest bookstore or library and hang out for a bit, see a movie, or take a walk along a park path. Invite someone to a bite to eat, anything to help get get you for just a wee bit.
BTW, I am glad you are going away for a few days this month. Enjoy your time w/your old pals.
Sit quietly, the answers will reveal themselves when you least expect them to. The past is gone, the present is a gift and you need to focus on today, allow the future to reveal itself when it is ready.
1 - You're still married. 2 - You're still married.
I know you have a trip this Sept. to meet some old mates and that is awesome, but do you have any nearby mates you can meet up with over a pint or two of delicious Guinness?
Experience is a brutal teacher, but you learn. My God, do you learn. - C.S. Lewis
Life is usually all about how you handle Plan B. - Jack3Beans
Listen without defending; Speak without offending - FaithinAK
I'm not from around here, as we moved up from our native land 12 years ago. I do go out, I do 'things', but it is difficult in a group as all the people I know are in relationships (straight or gay)and don't really want to hang out with a 44 year old sep. person!
I'm OK. Just thinking it's going on a bit toooo looooong!
M 45 W 52 SD22 S9 D8 BD 6 April 2015 Not living together 4 Dec 2015
Well don't act like a 44 sep. person. Did they actually say they don't want to hang out with you? Cause if they did drop them like a used tissue.
All sorts of ways to meet new people...and no not meaning find a girlfriend. Clubs, and this new thing the internet can even be used to find social activities in your area.
Not really harping on this, just one of those things when a person says they can't, when they really can.
Friends, in this case are a healthy distraction, that's why I believe it is vital.
Experience is a brutal teacher, but you learn. My God, do you learn. - C.S. Lewis
Life is usually all about how you handle Plan B. - Jack3Beans
Listen without defending; Speak without offending - FaithinAK
Yes, I believe the social GAL is really important and I'm not for a moment suggesting dating. I'm suggesting things that extend you beyond your comfort zone and help you meet new people and enjoy life whatever your W may be doing.
That's not about your current circle of contacts. For me GAL has included salsa class, bookstore volunteering, divorce support group, yoga class, ladies social group, calligraphy group, tai chi etc. I've just signed up for a 'borrow your doggy' scheme too. Planning to do a little dog walking. Not dated anyone (yet) but have met some nice people and done some fun things.
Here is my challenge to you Huddy. This month, try one new social GAL thing that could become a regular event for you....what do you have to lose? xx
T 13 M 7 Me 48 H 46 SS 15 BD 7.14 PA D final 5.16 (H filed)
We receive & we lose, and must try to achieve gratitude & embrace with whole hearts whatever of life that remains after the losses - Dubus
The 'Divorce Group' thing just doesn't float my boat. I keep thinking back to the film 'About a Boy', where there is the single mums group, where they just tell everyone how much of a b****** their former partner was! I just have that vision. It might be the wrong idea, but hey, I have got other things planned, but it all takes cash.
I keep being told by my colleagues I should 'move on', but I don't want to. You can see them thinking I'm a muppet for hoping, but having just read the latest 'sticky' post from Jack, that's me, right there, standing for my M!
M 45 W 52 SD22 S9 D8 BD 6 April 2015 Not living together 4 Dec 2015
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