The Woman is Pure Evil

[Zues126]

I'm not suggesting a good lawyer isn't important and that there aren't differences between good and bad...but it can be hard to tell as a layman.

The problem is that, as I said, there aren't enough resources to go around, and if RDS is the higher income earner and hasn't been the primary care giver than he is at a severe disadvantage. The best lawyer in the world can't change that fact any more than the best chess computer in the world can't win playing me without it's queen or rooks.

I know there were times I was tempted to fire my lawyer. Long times without updates, I felt like I had to ask questions that should've been communicated to me ahead of time, finding out that my bank statements would be scrutinized without the warning months earlier to make sure every expenditure helped my case, etc. But what I've learned is that lawyers are managing crippling case loads through a flawed system, and that we don't get the service we think we deserve as a 'paying customer'. But while I was put off on my lawyer a bit, frustrated many times, in the end she came through when she needed and got me 50% of the time with the children. From there the money doesn't really matter, it's mostly formulaic and as long as I have my kids the rest is kind of a joke anyway.

So educate yourself, arm yourself, but just know that even good lawyers will leave you disappointed with the service and the outcome, it's our system in play my friend.

[RDS]

Thanks Zues126. I hope what you wrote pertains to my L. My W's L didn't impress me at all, but the judge seemed to have had her mind made up when everything was said and done.

I felt like there was no reason for me to be there. The judgement was already decided.

[Zues126]

No doubt. You could've been at work earning money for WAW. Maybe they can take what you would've paid her out of the day's wages and add that to your settlement. I mean, just so you make sure the children are cared for

[Painter]

RDS, there are guidelines for spousal support - did the judge deviate from them?

You can go back to court to ask to have this amended, I would discuss this with your L. Ask your employer for a statement that explains what happened. Your L should also have noticed the discrepancy and addressed it before going into court.

Cherry, I did the same thing. I negotiated myself down $700/month from the guideline in spousal support because I saw that WH couldn't pay me that much. How stupid we are. He has the money to support OW, obviously.

[RDS]

I know there are guidelines for spousal support. I don't know what they are. I'm sure the judge went for the maximum.

My L failed me miserably. There is no other way around it. My W said my L set the tone negatively when the two Ls met in person the first time on my court date. My L looked at my W and and said, "so you're the W who abandoned the marriage?" The pissed off my W and her L and they stopped being in a mood to negotiate. We went back and forth in negeotioan in a mini mediation scenario. I was the sticking point (I had no idea my L had opened her stupid mouth about the "abandonment" comment), because I thought they were asking too much. I never dreamed it would only get worse from the judge.

My L should not have been surprised by the questions the judge asked, but she was.

Luckily, this is only for temporary spousal support and in 90 days we will go to final mediation. Hopefully, I will get the support reduced somewhat. If nothing else I will be cleared of some of the bills I'm required to pay now.

My problem is how I'm going to survive until then.

[RDS]

I just don't understand this woman. She calls me the day after the court judgement. I stared at the phone for what seemed like forever, and I was going to let it go to VM, but curiosity got the better of me. The reason she called me was to ask me when I was leaving to move our D's furniture in a U-Haul. She had some stuff she wanted me to bring for our D and some stuff for me for the trip.

We ended up talking for nearly 2 hours. I told her how incredibly hurt I was when she used my heartfelt words against me. She said that wasn't her intent but her L said to bring everything she had, which my W did. I didn't tell my W I couldn't trust her anymore. I will not get sucked into the crap I did again.

She dropped by the house the morning I was going to leave to drive the 1,100 miles to TX. We talked briefly. She walked into the garage. It's the first time she has remotely been in the house since she left. She wanted to see how empty the garage was now that my D's furniture and other belongings were packed into the truck.

She gave me a large "goody" bag of snacks and drinks for my long trip. It's stuff she used to do for me all the time during our M, even during the bad times. I didn't question why she did it. I accepted the bag and thanked her. She then gave me a very tight hug and a kiss on my check.

Why in the world would she do that? She even called me later that day to see how my drive was going. This was last Friday. I haven't talked to my W since then. I've been extremely busy helping my D complete her move. I'm sitting in a Dallas airport getting ready to board for my flight home. I'm to meet with a realtor when I get home to go over the options to get the house sold as quickly as possible.

Part of me is excited about the new beginning, but I'm more sad about what I'm losing.

[RAI]

Safe trip. I still have to read your thread. Did not forget.

W sounds very manipulative. have you heard of Dalia Dippolito? She tried to have her H murdered. There are recordings of her conversation after she was apprehended (google search it). Very interesting how she tries to manipulate her H even after she tried to kill him. It comes down to: Do not believe anything they say and 50% of what they do.

Best,

RAI

[RDS]

RAI, I didn't know who Dalia Dippolito was at first. I did a quick search on her and I remembered her from a couple of ID Discovery shows I had watched. From what I gather she is on house arrest until her new trial. She is playing the legal system for all its worth.

My W probably is manipulative and I'm not sure if she even knows she is doing it. I know she won't try to kill me because now that I've cancelled my life insurance coverage I'm her gravy train. If I'm dead then she gets nothing from me, except the house and there is so little equity it's not worth it.

The first two months after my W left I was doing well detaching and GAL'ing, but I've slid backwards a lot since then. I go see my IC today. I'm hoping an hour talk with her will help me get back on track.

[MoveFrwd]

So you named this thread that your W is "pure evil."

Then this:

She said that wasn't her intent but her L said to bring everything she had, which my W did.

She gave me a large "goody" bag of snacks and drinks for my long trip. It's stuff she used to do for me all the time during our M, even during the bad times.

She then gave me a very tight hug and a kiss on my check.

She even called me later that day to see how my drive was going. This was last Friday.

So I presume you are backing off from your thoughts on the whole "pure evil" thing. It sounds to me like she is trying to get you back on the hook as she did a few weeks ago with your meetups and the dog interactions.

Just my 2 cents.

[RDS]

darknes, I have no idea what's going on anymore. I'm a rudderless ship. I go through stages where I hate everything about her, and almost as fast I go back to loving her with all my heart. I don't want to go through life constantly being angry at her, even if being angry at her would probably be in my best interest emotionally and financially in the long term

When I talk to her on the phone I get happy for being nice to her. Being happy feels good. It is so unlike how I used to be towards her during the last years of our M, and with everything else going on in my life I still cherish the small amount of happiness I get on the occasions when we talk.

I know I'm the classic LBS. I know what I *should* be doing, but currently I'm not capable of doing it. I wish to God I could be "ILYBNILWY" towards my W. My W is that way towards me now and it took her heart turning to stone to get that way.