Thanks Andrew... I *think* I disagree though (but probably could be convinced otherwise). This has been a slow slog since April to get to this point. I'm not sure I see the cake eating part. What cake is she eating exactly? It is pretty much a two way street at this point. It's not like I am letting her dump all her problems on me like a gay boyfriend, there is no financial support from me, and I am not constantly chasing after her. I don't know maybe I am missing something? We get together about once every week and a half or so at the moment. I don't know.. maybe I guess
pinn - From what I see she is chasing after you and you're letting her catch you without her having to quit OM. She's keeping her Plan B warm.
I can certainly feel for your enthusiasm for her attention and perhaps she's not even doing it cynically to keep you around but like people have written on my own thread she's not worried about losing you and now she has both OM and you. Win/win for her.
On BD H52, W50 T27, M26 S21, D23 BD-9-Mar-16 D-15-Jan-18 Final-19-Apr-18 I am a storyteller. The story may do you no good. But a story is never for the listener. It is always for the one who tells
I am not sure I would call it enthusiasm.. more trepidation actually.
I'm not sure what the deal is with OM.. I have 100% no idea. I have no idea of the original level of involvement with OM nor do I really care (obv there would come a time when we have to discuss it and the felon I suspect of being involved on some level would have to be on a NC list). I could mind read and say it is over between them, I could mind read and say that once she leaves me she goes back and cozies up to him... I have no clue, so I don't worry about it. I can only control what I can control.
I don't think we can compare situations yet Andrew. I have been living separately for over a year, went months with NC and very very slowly have gotten to this point. My WW knows exactly (100%) what it is like to be without me. I feel I am detached enough to show that she doesn't have us both. (ie over a week NC recently, no prob and I had no plans to contact her)
I think it might be time for a little heart to heart.
Andrew has giving me food for thought... be interested in some vets opinions... maybe I am barking up the wrong tree.
Pinn I think it may be time for a simple question for her.
What does she want?
Funny thing. I am still here all the time but haven't posted much. Actually, I can only post from my phone as I stay logged in. My computer forgot the password and I forgot it as well. For some reason when I do the forgot password thing I don't get anything. I will figure it out but I am not updating my situation from my phone. Way to long of a post!
I don't honk you have anything to lose anymore.
M 37 W 34
T 12 M 8 D 7 S 4
Need break 4/12/15 W no ring 7/7/15
Separate room 4/12/15 Separate living suggested 8/15 W moved out 11/1/15
Hey OTW... I was thinking about you the other day. Get that password figured out so we can get an update! We think along similar lines. I think it is time for that question. Just need the right time to bring it up.
Originally Posted By: cheesyt
just read all your threads. took like 2 hours...
seems like you're stuck and she's just keeping you around just enough.
-C
Hmph... maybe that is true then and I am just blinded because I am in the middle of the situation.
I thought I was doing a decent job DB'ing but now I am not sure.
Found out tonight that one of my best friends is having another baby. Of course I am happy for them, but it does make me sad at the same time. Hopefully have a chat with WW soon.
Hey Pinn, maybe it's time to put a few plans in place rather than flying by the seat of your pants which is causing so much uncertainty for you both. How about arranging to see each other at least once a week and then you might want to increase it as you go along?
I have read your sich and I am truly impressed with all you DB'ng but it seems to me that your WW is feeling a little confused with the situation. You are rightly making her do all the chasing but she might be feeling a little despondent as from her point of view she might not be seeing any results. Maybe with a little structure in place it will help you both. You could both agree to taking it in turns to chose an activity each week? I know I couldn't carry on in this way with going out on dates and then no contact or days, each person waiting for the other to make the first move, it would drive me mad!!
Me - 47 H - 45 D-16 M - 6 years Separated - May 16
Don't leave me behind can't you see me I'm shining... (Years & Years - 'Shine')
Hmmm that is a thought. Thanks for the input Coly. Yea clearly she is confused. We are going to talk soon and this could be something I could propose depending on how things go.
