You tend to "assume" things w/o really reading what people are telling you. For example, Lou posted to you on your previous thread and provided info about her situation, including the fact that her h was coming back to live w/her. Then, I see on this thread, you've jumped the gun and assumed she isn't reconciling w/her h and you now want her to cease posting to you. Please, for the love of man, start reading and comprehending what people are posting before you come out w/insensitive comments and/or asking people to stop posting to you. The forum is about life and the people who have experienced situations similar to yours. This is an open forum and anyone can post their thoughts and comments on the threads as long as it is within reason. We don't always like to hear what they have to say and that's when you ignore the postings. If the comments sting, maybe there's some truth in what the posters are getting from your postings. If so, then you need to step back and think long and hard about the comments and ask why they would say such things.
Your apologies are not coming across as being sincere and just a passing thought when you are called on what you've posted to them and/or about them. Respect is a two way street on the forum as well as in the real world. In order to gain respect, you need to show it to others. If you want to be treated a certain way, then you need to do the same to them as well. Cld, I suggest that you be mindful of what you post to others. People are hurting, just like you and some of your "assumptions/comments" are uncalled for and can be construed as insensitive and arrogant, and they do tend to pour salt into old wounds. If you don't want people saying things that are hurtful, etc., then stop posting those assumptions/comments to them. Again, respect is a two way street everywhere in this world.
Now, let's circle back to something I posted to you on your previous thread. Why? Because I do think that there is more going on in your situation than you have shared. The posters, as well as I myself, want to help you, but unless you work w/us, you are going to continue going in circles chasing your tail.
So, here's what I posted: "Generally when they say we are controlling, they can also tend to point out that we are manipulative, stubborn, condescending, don't listen, judgmental, determined to have our way and we want to always be right and we always want the last word in any conversation or discussion. Has your wife ever stated that you don't value you her as an equal partner because she's a woman? If you don't feel comfortable answering the above, I do understand. These examples are just a few of what some of the MLCers will toss out for justification."
In the last few days, the posters have mentioned a few of the above traits have been revealed in your postings. Are these the traits that your wife has issues with?
Wonka, I realize Cld opened a can of worms when he made his "assumed" comments about you. I know it annoyed you to no end, but would you please do me a favor and stop posting to Cld? I have removed several of your postings to try to keep the peace. One day, he will wish that he had listened to your advice, but he's not ready to admit he's got a lot of hard work to do on himself. Until the student is ready to learn, the teacher needs to sit it out just a wee bit and watch him struggle.
I am completely done with offering Cld advice. Also noticed that one of my posts was recently deleted--the one in response to Ginger. Wonder why as none of it was offensive nor any swear words were used. Why is it okay for Cld to call someone c@nt and not for me to post a PG-rated post calling out Cld's offensive behavior?
I'm sorry, I deleted. I'm going to go back to his other thread and delete what he had posted about you.
I have now deleted his comment. If there are any other comments that he has made about you, please let me know and I'll be happy to delete them as well.
No, never. I do respect positive women and my wife was always one of them. She was my best friend, and I never criticized her. In fact I often thought that she was a better person than me.
When I say that I apologize to Lou, I mean it, she is a positive woman and I value her feedback.
Thank you very much for bringing the message to Wonka, I appreciate it.
Cld, Quite frankly, I didn't see anything wrong w/what Wonka posted to you. You over stepped yourself in your previous thread by making "assumptions" about her. Then, when she basically came here and did the same thing to you, you didn't like. So, again, be mindful of the posters' feelings and think before you post your comments. Before you post, ask yourself if your response will offend/hurt someone. Writing can be interpreted differently than what you meant.
If I read postings and I think that they are fine, I'm going to leave them. Why? Because we can ALL learn something from them.
Cld, you have a lot to learn about how to communicate w/people. You need to be a good listener, sensitive to their plights and yes, don't put your foot in your mouth any more than you have to.
One last thing, if I read any more of your "assumptions" about people, I'm going to point it out to you and then I'm going to censor your postings. Just remember, what goes around, comes around and sometimes, you aren't going to like the consequences of your actions.
I'm sorry, I deleted. I'm going to go back to his other thread and delete what he had posted about you.
I am disappointed that that particular section was deleted for it is relevant in calling out some BS being bandied about here. Does that mean that any other posts calling out Cld's offensive behaviors should be ALL deleted? Then there's no opportunity for Cld to learn and reflect, IF and when he's ever ready to truly listen.
Thank you for listening...I recognize that you are doing a job in striking a balance here as a mod.
It wasn't about (nor directed to) me per se in the other thread. He used the word c@nt in someone's thread...probably Andrew's. Not sure...
Point me in the right direction and I'll get rid of that comment.
Sit quietly, the answers will reveal themselves when you least expect them to. The past is gone, the present is a gift and you need to focus on today, allow the future to reveal itself when it is ready.
Yep, it was taken care of over on Newcomers. Cadet can work magic on Newcomers and over on the MLC forum it's Jack and myself. Unfortunately, we can't jump around on other forums and clean up things.
Sit quietly, the answers will reveal themselves when you least expect them to. The past is gone, the present is a gift and you need to focus on today, allow the future to reveal itself when it is ready.
