Sorry I never did get around to changing my signature line. We reconciled. My kids are now 9 and 13. No girlfriend although I went out with girls who were friends. They were invaluable as to giving me the female perspective. My W's parents were D'd where her dad just left when she was 7 and never came home.
In terms of how long it took her to be friendly. it was a long process of her allowing herself to trust again. During that time I GAL and became a heck of a great dad. I also read and learned everything I could about M, relationships, As, human behavior, MLC and even how to read body language like the FBI does in order to read my W's moods since she wasn't the type to open up.
Like everyone else, I had people telling me to give it up, etc. But my gut told me to stick it out and that no matter all the spew she would say, she was saying it out of pain.
M-43 W-40 2D - 9 and 5
Emotion, yet peace. Ignorance, yet knowledge. Passion, yet serenity. Chaos, yet harmony. Death, yet a new life.
She sounds a lot like my wife, her parents divorced when she was 7 and her father left. I admire you for waiting five years. You give me hope, you are a hero! Just like you I am reading tons of books about marriage and trying to be a great dad. I assume that you got divorced because the divorce process moves faster the the MLC usually. The most important thing is that you were able to save the relationship, who really cares about the legal marriage. Reading your story and many others made me realize that some women especially those who came from broken families just HAVE to get divorced.They can't stop it. Later I am sure that they'll regret it tho. MrBond please share with us as many details as possible. I really would like to learn from you. Thanks!
I can post on your thread since I don't want to hijack this one any further.
I will say again, that I did not "WAIT" for my W. I simply lived my life and did things that made ME happy. I stopped trying to think what she was doing or thinking and didn't walk on eggshells around her. I lived for me and not her. That's a mistake that many LBSs make after the bomb drop.
M-43 W-40 2D - 9 and 5
Emotion, yet peace. Ignorance, yet knowledge. Passion, yet serenity. Chaos, yet harmony. Death, yet a new life.
This is my thread MrBond. What about the kids? I keep telling them that I will wait for mom to come back, that I love her and that I won't look for another woman, because I want them to be emotionally stable and not lose hope. I don't say any of that to their mother. I act short and uninterested. http://www.divorcebusting.com/forums/ubb...403#Post2698403
This is most likely my last post, a I am taking a leave of absence from here.
Women who come from broken homes don't have to get a divorce.
I'll be honest, it irritates the heck out of me every time you make that generalization. It's quite insulting to us women who did come from a "broken" home who had come here because they valued their M and fought not to get a divorce.
If that's the only reason why you think your wife wants a divorce, you have some very deep digging to do and some major work on yourself that needs to be done while you "wait" around for your W to "snap" out of her MLC.
I just read a new study yesterday. White females who come from broken homes are 90% likely to divorce themselves, more than any other group. Now you say that you are fighting for your marriage, but maybe you are the one who pushed your husband away by criticizing and complaining all the time, which is something men absolutely hate.
I just read a new study yesterday. White females who come from broken homes are 90% likely to divorce themselves, more than any other group. Now you say that you are fighting for your marriage, but maybe you are the one who pushed your husband away by criticizing and complaining all the time, which is something men absolutely hate.
I should not even dare to go here. Do you have any idea how skewed statistics are? Very skewed.
And holy crap. actually, my ex criticized me, was down right verbally abusive to me, and he was the complainer. Nothing was good enough for him. When I spoke up for myself, that's when he decided to take on another woman who takes the abuse.
You are unbelievable, and no, I don't think your wife left because her parents divorced when her parents were 7 and she had because her daughter was 7.
It's clear it goes much deeper than that.
If you want ANY chance at saving your M, you better look deep inside yourself, and stop looking so hard into statistics.
Mr. Bond saved him M, not by sitting around waiting for his W to 'snap out of it" He became a man only a fool would leave. He looked inside, he did the work.
