I was anxious about my MILs chat with him. They had that, and I managed to cool myself. I know that she has my interests at heart, and I know how strongly against this she is.
Annab, it must be a sense that can pick up on. When I first met him, he chased me, I know how he is when he is chasing after someone. I think keeping myself busy is going to be my key. Where hope is, I feel like I'm preparing myself for the worst, it feels unbelievably bleak right now. He's completely avoiding me, but then he's also avoiding his child. He gets home from work and locks himself away. He then will either go out when everyone else is in bed, or he will scuttle down and make some food when he thinks there's no chance of being seen.
MIL went to see him, he was just sat in his room with a big envelope, I saw that he asked his L to send the papers to work. In presuming this is what this is. This makes me anxious, but then what's the use in worrying and mindreading.
Trying to remain focused on what a nice day I've had with my child
Me 26 H 25 M 4 T 5 Baby born 4/14 BD: 1/15 EA: 2/15 PA: 4/15 reconciling: 4/15 ILYBINILWY- 11/15 ILY-1/16 ILYBNILWY 4/16 ILY 6/16 ILYBINILWY 6/16 Baby due 3/17 BD 8/16
He is beyond words sometimes/ most of the time these days.
Focusing on my little ones smile today and the lovely memories we made. H is continuing on his crazy train. Completely ignored s when he came home and closed the door on him. He didn't seem too bothered. He is showered by love from me, I shall remain his constant.
Me 26 H 25 M 4 T 5 Baby born 4/14 BD: 1/15 EA: 2/15 PA: 4/15 reconciling: 4/15 ILYBINILWY- 11/15 ILY-1/16 ILYBNILWY 4/16 ILY 6/16 ILYBINILWY 6/16 Baby due 3/17 BD 8/16
Wh is in full on anger mode with me. Previously he would still be seen, or sit down to meals, say hello, or tell me when he's going out.
Now he closes himself off from the world. Hides out in his room and comes and goes as he damn well pleases. Mindreading here, but I'm guessing the anger is he just wants out from me, so he can't stand to see me. He practically lives in his room, eats sleeps, everything closed off from the world.
So I'm back more so in the anger mode as I just feel so disrespected. I'm a good woman, I'm the person he would be a fool to leave. This morning, got me and S out and went to visit my family. He had already gone out without a word. But right now i could not care less. He told his mum that he has seen a few flats, I have to find out things from her. Right now, he is just dragging me down. He said to his mum what does he have to be happy about. Hmm lemme see, a healthy happy toddler, another on the way? And not that he realises, but a hella good woman he has pushed right away. More fool you!!
We're going to have a day surrounded by happy people who love us. And family who will play and keep little one entertained.
Me 26 H 25 M 4 T 5 Baby born 4/14 BD: 1/15 EA: 2/15 PA: 4/15 reconciling: 4/15 ILYBINILWY- 11/15 ILY-1/16 ILYBNILWY 4/16 ILY 6/16 ILYBINILWY 6/16 Baby due 3/17 BD 8/16
Yeah, exactly. It's his anger. His problem. It is annoying though, as it gives the impression that I'm this horrible person and it is impossible to live under the same room. I guess in his eyes, I am what stands blocking "his happiness".... Pffffff f*ck you.
Got some general legal advise re money I would be entitled to as a single mom. Also learnt he will pay child support and spousal support as I made sacrifices re my career for our family.
Have a proper comsultation with my L on Monday so I will have everything lined up then. I hate that we're at this place. But I'm feeling more confident that I have a plan should I need to use it
Me 26 H 25 M 4 T 5 Baby born 4/14 BD: 1/15 EA: 2/15 PA: 4/15 reconciling: 4/15 ILYBINILWY- 11/15 ILY-1/16 ILYBNILWY 4/16 ILY 6/16 ILYBINILWY 6/16 Baby due 3/17 BD 8/16
Cherry, great that you're seeing a L. It's so important to know your options, it's about taking your power back and not be at the mercy of someone making bad decisions.
When you see him act or talk as if you are a horrible person, remember that he's playing out an inner scenario where he has to justify leaving his pregnant wife. That takes a lot of make-believe! Part of the way to do that, it's to treat you badly so you are angry and upset when he's around. It's a setup. They do outrageous things, then when you react, they point to your reaction as a reason to leave.
If he spent time with you behaving normally, he would be confronted with the fact that you are not like what he's pretending, so it would mess with his justification.
If you're nice and courteous when he's around and you don't make scenes, it will make it harder for him to justify himself.
M 16 yrs, WH62, P54 3 adult blended kids EA 11/13, BD1 6/14 PA fall 14, BD2 2/15 Piecing 2015, BD3 12/15 Separated 4/16 WH moved OW in 5/16 Divorced 6/15/17
Painter, that's exactly how I see it. I don't know or care how he paints me out to ow, or anyone else for that matter. I know, and he knows I'm a good woman. On his spewing guilt sprees he's said: "you don't deserve this" "you're beautiful, a great woman, a great mother, a great wife" which is followed by chapter 1, verse 2 of the wayward bible: "but I'm just not happy".
That's how I see it that if he pushes my buttons and I go cray cray, or start acting in a certain way. It will totally justify his behaviours. So, I take away that power, u remain upbeat (not that he sees me) and I get by with my life. And he doesn't have that reason to blame me for anything. I'm trying my best no matter how angry, don't rise to it. Last week during a difficult conversation. When I felt I was going to either shout or cry, I excused myself and said I was a little emotional and that I would talk to him when calm.
I read some great advise from RSG on jugs thread today. I copied it so I could remind myself of this:
Being rejected or losing the AP might help some, but you never know if they'll want to come home or just go out looking for some other fix. I think it has more to do with losing YOU. Seeing you becoming a better man, even better than you were when they were happy and in love with you. Watching you change, knowing you're doing just fine w/o them while they're spinning and don't really know what to do.
H is spinning like mad right now. He is so withdrawn and depressed. His circus, his monkeys
Me 26 H 25 M 4 T 5 Baby born 4/14 BD: 1/15 EA: 2/15 PA: 4/15 reconciling: 4/15 ILYBINILWY- 11/15 ILY-1/16 ILYBNILWY 4/16 ILY 6/16 ILYBINILWY 6/16 Baby due 3/17 BD 8/16
