As the post says, trying but not brilliantly! I think the physical separation makes it easier and I am not desperately wanting to text him anymore but I can't stop thinking about what he is doing/thinking about and if the offish way I acted the other day when he dropped D back may have made things worse. I believe I'm supposed to be lovingly distant but I think I probably just looked like a rabbit in headlights!
My D and me are off for a well earned break tomorrow with my sister and her family according to D, H is going to stay with one of his friends who lives in a different country (he was one if our best men). I think his wife and kids are over here visiting her family as I think he has to work. I'm quite pleased H is going over there as his friend is a lively guy and won't lead him astray. I hope he has a lovely break too. I think we all need some time away from it all.
It isn't easy. Not in the slightest. And I think if we thought it was, we would be in utter denial.
But like any kind of issue, you're on the right track of you can identify your faults and start to do something about them. You aren't sat feeling sorry for yourself, refusing to get out of bed. But you're doing the right things, you're taking a lovely vacay with your d, and I hope you have the best time and start to gain focus. A beak away and change of scenery do the world of good. A few months back during one of my h's many dips in and out of our r, me and my best gf took a trip to Paris. The day we arrived, I cried my eyes out in the shower, I was a mess. After just one day of sightseeing and having a great time with my girl, I was feeling so much more focused, relaxed and full of life. I came back with a much better energy.
Just take it hour by hour, day by day. See the beauty in the day, and focus on you and your d.
I'm rooting for you
Me 26 H 25 M 4 T 5 Baby born 4/14 BD: 1/15 EA: 2/15 PA: 4/15 reconciling: 4/15 ILYBINILWY- 11/15 ILY-1/16 ILYBNILWY 4/16 ILY 6/16 ILYBINILWY 6/16 Baby due 3/17 BD 8/16
Me54 WH48 S18 D16 M 22 T 24 EA-PA-EA 2011-2015 Separated 10/14 - 06/15 BD1 02/14 BD2 05/16 BD3 08/21/16 and began drinking again Working on me and liking me again
Thanks Cherry, trying to be excited but I keep getting there waves of sadness.
Found out via FB that the wife of H's friend is going to be home when H goes over so H is spending a lovely holiday with their family and not his own! If his friend is working then he will be going around sight seeing with the wife and her kids. I'm so jealous and annoyed I'm spitting feathers!
The other reason I am annoyed is because the wife was always nice to my face but behind my back I know she isn't keen on me and I think the reason is that she tried to set H up with her best friend just as we were getting together and I don't think she has ever forgiven me for foiling her plan! I can imagine she will be gloating that he has left me!!
Me - 47 H - 45 D-16 M - 6 years Separated - May 16
Don't leave me behind can't you see me I'm shining... (Years & Years - 'Shine')
Sorry Coly.... . It is hard to detach for me as well.... I just try to take it day by day. It helps me to read here since we all are going through the same thing sadly.
W:42 M:48 T:9 yrs M:1yr BD: Feb 2016 EA Confirmed: Feb 2016/PA July 2016 D: Feb 2017
Well just got back from my holiday. Had a lovely time and only a few alcohol fuelled tears but on the whole I think I did a pretty good job of enjoying myself. It felt good not to have to want to contact my H, I didn't have the urge at all. The only issue was my D texting H to say we missed him - ugh - so much for going dark!
So today is also my sixth wedding anniversary as well. Pretty much held it together so far but feel so sad. I would love to know what my H is thinking today too. Does the spouse who walked away feel sadness on a day like this or do they pretty much ignore it, anyone know?
Me - 47 H - 45 D-16 M - 6 years Separated - May 16
Don't leave me behind can't you see me I'm shining... (Years & Years - 'Shine')
There's never any knowing what they think. Today is my anniversary, and my lack of expectations had really helped me. I don't think for one minute that he will actually think about it. But like I say, you can never really tell. It's doubtful they would ever let you know regardless. Just try and see it as any other day, not a special date. Glad you enjoyed your vacay! Do you feel more refreshed? A bit more detached?
Me 26 H 25 M 4 T 5 Baby born 4/14 BD: 1/15 EA: 2/15 PA: 4/15 reconciling: 4/15 ILYBINILWY- 11/15 ILY-1/16 ILYBNILWY 4/16 ILY 6/16 ILYBINILWY 6/16 Baby due 3/17 BD 8/16
Hi Cherry, gosh your anniversary today too! I expect that must be very difficult to have no expectations especially with you and your H still living together?
I didn't really expect anything from him or even for him to acknowledge it and I'm not sure if it would be appropriate anyway even if he did. I just feel so sad about it especially as this time last year we were holiday as a family...
I do feel refreshed and so happy I went away especially as my D had a fantastic time with her cousins. Not sure how I am doing on the detaching. I've not spoken too or seen him since the Thursday before we went on holiday and that was just a very quick exchange in the hallway when he brought D back. Apparently when she as with him he asked her lots of questions about how I was and what I was up to etc. Fishing..? Or can you have a temp check through someone else?
Not sure I am detaching very well though as currently having a few tears as I still miss him so much especially today...
Me - 47 H - 45 D-16 M - 6 years Separated - May 16
Don't leave me behind can't you see me I'm shining... (Years & Years - 'Shine')
. It is hard to detach for me as well.... I just try to take it day by day. It helps me to read here since we all are going through the same thing sadly.