Still here and need support 2

[SH_]

poschan,

I gotta hit the hay, but I wanted to let you k ow I just saw your post.
I will try to swing by tomorrow to share some thoughts and see if I can shed some light on ways to enhance emotional states.

[JRuss]

poschan -- it's not a quick (will take about two months of diligent practice) or perfect fix, but meditation will help your emotional state. Others include talking to a good mental health counselor. And, of course, regular exercise.

[poschan]

Thanks JRuss.
Currently received a draft marital dissolution agreement and parenting plan. So, after review and signature, looks like the D will be put into motion.

[poschan]

Tried my first meetup activity last night, a mindfulness meditation class. The class was pleased that I attended and traveled from an adjacent city to get there. we did some qigong that combines movement, breathing, and visualization to cultivate the body’s energy. It initiates the relaxation response, decreasing heart rate and blood pressure while enhancing the efficiency of the body’s immune system. The teacher also read some poetry and readings about meditation and mindfulness. All in all a great experience and gave me a daily meditation to practice.
I hope to try a few more meetup groups for me

[poschan]

I was just looking through some old texts from WAW. In one I was asking why she left and her response was that she had asked me 3 times to go to counseling and that justified her walking away. I know I shouldn't dwell on the past but I still find myself trying to understand it all.
On another note, WAW keeps saying that I owe her $ ("you owe me my $; I want my $..."). We agreed to a certain payout to her from the home equity. However, nothing has been filed and the MDA is in draft stage. Any suggestions on how best to respond to her?

[AndrewP]

poschan - if you can understand WAW then MWD should put you on the payroll.

WRT the money - how about "It's up to the lawyers now" or if you want to be nasty "It's up to the lawyers now and they get the first slice of cake". Being callous here - if she's desperate for it then perhaps she would accept less and you get it from a home equity loan?

[poschan]

Good point AP, I'll just let her know that the lawyers are on it and I don't have any control over their review.
d7 continues to tell me how rude and mean WAW is...I stay silent and tell her I am sorry to hear that. d7 will be with me for the next 3 days so looking forward to that. we've been very busy when we are together doing lots of fun activities.

[poschan]

Trying another meetup activity tonight, looking forward to meeting with some new folks again. Going to GAL tomorrow afternoon just for me too.
Still have bouts of sadness; but starting to realize it is not for WAW but for time missed with d8. It feels like something has been taken away from me; and it WAW has walked away resulting in a temporary parenting plan that reduces time with d8 dramatically as compared to the last 8 years. Alas, like is not always what we expect. I am trying to be positive and focus on today and be the best Dad and human I can be.

[lt0402]

Keep on focusing on being a great dad poschan! You need to be there for your D8 now more than ever. Interested to hear how the other meetups go. Been debating doing some of these myself, but haven't pulled the trigger yet.

[rich4j]

P-

We didn't sign up to be part time parents and not see our daughters part time either. It is not fun and is a downer.

Picked D7 up from camp today after not seeing for a few days and it was like she was away for a month. We hugged and realized it was only 3 days...ugh

I am starting to realize that the kids know best sometimes and gravitate towards the light of positiveness and realize secretly who is hurting. My D7 asked me if mommy made me leave the other week and I had to bite my tongue

All you can do is make sure the precious time you do spend is the best time. I have become a much better father over the last 12 months becuz of this sitch and if there is one positive from this ordeal, that is it. I hope your sadness for the missed time flips into having memories you can never replace.