Are we there yet?

[RosaLinda]

Can I tell you how surreal this is sometimes? getting pics of your daughter and her father from the woman he left you for while they are on their summer family vacation? Brings up all weird feelings. I have accepted it just is what my life is now. Everything ex says now in terms of OWW and my D is a "we". "we have her on Thursday night". I guess I just got to embrace her as a part of the family. This is our family in a sense.

Sorry, rambling, but it is weird and I am trying to sort out how I feel about that. never ever though I would be saying any of this.

That IS weird that OWW is the one sending you pics, sort of surreal, except....your ex is SUCH an a$$ that he would never bother to send you pictures. At least OWW acknowledges you as D8's mom and is keeping you in the loop.

It must be so hard for you to have to share her, especially with THAT woman. But what you said is true, G. This is your reality now, and this is D8's family. At least OWW treats D8 well.

I'm sorta going thru the same thing. My oldest son told me he is going to ask his dad to drive up to CT to help him with putting a new roof on his "chicken palace," and where my ex goes, the Russian goes too. I'm sort of nervous about my grand kids meeting her for the first time. But she IS their step-grandma. I guess I have to "embrace her as part of the family" just like you with OWW, even though the thought of it makes the both of us want to puke LOL

I'm going to be seeing ex NG soon. it's brining up feelings. Not the right feelings though. Feelings of indifference would be welcomed

Detaching is easier said than done; it takes time. It'll get a little better every week. And you have, what, a month? Hang in there. We'll all be there for support and for plying you with Mojitos! What ever it takes!

Good luck with your surgery T. I hope it finally fixes your foot problem.

[JksD]

Ginger, sounds like you're going through a wide range of feelings right now.

Wow on the oww sending you pics. It's a nice gesture but it svcks that she's doing it and not your x. Or would you actually prefer to deal with her instead? I don't know what to think about it but I know you have been dealing with it pretty well. I pray that I will never have to be in this position because I doubt that I have your grace and your fortitude.

As for xNG, I hope you'll be able to feel detached/ indifferent when you meet him. Or at least not have him stir up too many uncomfortable feelings.

[Ginger1]

Hi there guys. I'm just accepting life as it is right now. D8 is having a fun time, I am happy for her. The strange thing for me is that my D has a life I really don't know much about or have a part in. But my first and foremost thing is she is happy and loved by everyone in her life. He's been sending me pictures, he always has done that. She just never has, and I guess it was kind for her to consider me as I am her mother.

Ex Ng is still a month away. I think it's the unknown and if I am totally and completely honest it, I am worried that feelings will stirred up on my end and none on his. And I'll feel like a tool. Mojitos and the ice luge should get me through.

My cousin, the one who wanted to go to therapy with me, is yet again giving me a hard time. She's just not a considerate person. After work I'm spending like the whole night in the city for her birthday dinner and I am up again, 6 am tomorrow, last day before surgery to go to work and get stuff done. My dad plans on doing a lot of helping around the house which is great, I look forward to having them here. and the dog (I know how you love him, RL!).

I'm falling to an acceptance stage. My life is my life. It's weird and may it be lacking in some areas, it's fruitful in many more. I've made the actual decision on giving up dating for a while. I haven't even been looking, but I do have a want, and I am making that want disappear now. I don't have time, I can't deal with the games, and I'll revisit it in the future at some point.

For now, I'll just be my odd numbered wheel and take in the love of my friends and family.

[job]

Ginger,

How did the surgery go? I hope you are feeling better soon!

[JksD]

How are you?

Has the anaesthesia worn off?

[Ginger1]

Hello guys! Thanks for checking in on me! Surgery went well. I'm in minimal pain, I am just on couch rest with bathroom privellages for the weekend which is weird for me, but I'm being compliant. My dad and his wife have been with me. The staff where I had my surgery was excellent and will be getting rave reviews. It's with the hospital system I work for, so I'll give them a huge shoutout on the intranet.

I can even stretch my foot with less pain than before, so hopefully it worked

D8 comes home tonight or tomorrow, then it's back to the grind on Monday. For 2 weeks I've got to keep it to minimal walking and standing. I'll make it work somehow.

And maybe I'll be returning to kickboxing before the end of the year!

[RosaLinda]

oh I'm so glad to hear this. I know how you love your exercising, and how hard it was on you to have to forego! An attitude I simply cannot comprehend but wish I could adopt LOL

[job]

I'm glad you have minimal pain, but please do not rush the process. Give your foot time to heal or you'll be back in for additional surgery.

I'm glad the staff at the hospital were great! This is half the process of healing, i.e., when everything goes as planned.

Allow your dad and his wife to take care of you. When you return to work, either take crutches or a cane and be firm w/the office staff that you can't be walking on that foot for long periods of time.

Take care and enjoy the TLC you are getting and allow your daughter to take care of you too!

[Ginger1]

Thanks job! I'm actually being a good patient which I never am because I really want this to work. I'm going a little stir crazy, but it's hot as balls outside so I don't really need to leave the house. I'm letting people care for me which is not easy, but I'm very appreciative. Friends came over last night and brought an ice cream cake. D8 is home from vacation last night.

And here is where the fun begins. For some reason she hysterically cried because I was sleeping on the couch and she wanted me in her bed. I did calm her down and hobbled upstairs to tuck her in. We talked and she comes out with it. Her dad told her to " stop being a little b!tch". She was upset because she thought her letter worked and h just can't control himself. I do have to address this now. I'm so so so mad. He's tearing this girl down . And she is disgusted with how he talks to his mother. It hurts her to hear him talk to her grandmother like that.

Then I get something from the IRS telling me I owe them $1400 from 2014. I'm afraid something happened when ex refilled . Everything is messed up.

The fun never ends over here!!!

Good news: my professor may give a whole bunch of time consuming assignments. But he also gives me a 100% on everything. So hopefully I can do it again with the 2000 word paper I need to write today.

I just need a break. I really need to do something about this situation with her father.

But he's never going to change, I know it. So I have to teach her the best how to deal with it.

[Georgiabelle]

Hi Ginger,

I'm glad to hear the surgery went well and that you are feeling okay. Ice cream cake? That would make those folks friends of the century in my book.

I'm sorry about the way x is behaving. Sadly, that's all on him and others suffer from the fallout and the pain. Ugh.

I can totally relate to the never-ending excitement. It makes life sort of like Disneyworld minus the water rides and musical performances.

Good luck on your paper. I see a good grade in your future.