Natus, sounds like you're making good progress with the detaching! I don't have a lot for you around the detaching part as I'm still trying to find my way, but wanted to swing by and support you bud.
Probably need to be careful on the dating stuff would be all I'd offer. DDJ seems to have a good grasp on it. I can see from my own situation how things would end up in the same place were I not fully "fixed" before I started seeing other people again. All about patience and comfort that you're good to go w/ yourself as a person and man.
Keep it up brother. Making great progress is sounds like!
Me39 M11 : T13 D9 BD 5/31/16 In House S until 6/21/17 Divorced 10/5/18
Thank IT0402. Agreed on the dating and its not something im planning to do but i do plan to be more social. Its a 180 for me as im generally a loner type.
So far most of my new GAL activities is due to female colleague inviting me. She's a wall climber and mountain climb and stuff. Its something i've always been interested in, and the wilderness does call to me. I'm definately planning a trip up a mountain somewhere hopefully before the end of the year.
Female colleague has invited me for road trip this weekend with her girlfriends. She's aware of my sich and is trying to be nice and invite me for activities and introducing me to her friends. Im probably not going to go due to i have to cover class while my business is in Korea for competition.
On another vein, i found a note last weekend in my house from stbx's lover. I confronted her and she played it off as it was old and she forgot about it. Her flippant attitude to it got on my nerves a little. I am beginning to dislike her. Im thinking more and more about divorce now.
I know its early days but i cannot envision reconciliation anymore. She's told me she wont love me ever again and I wont take her back as she is nor do i think she is capable of change. I wonder what am i waiting for.
Me31 W31 M11yrs S6yrs 23Mar16-BD 9Apr16-W admitted EA w boss. 27Jun16-W Changed job and promised NC w OM. 14Jul16-Continued contact w OM.Start of Separation. 24May17-Divorced.
Sooo while i think less of her im still thinking way too much about my sich. I guess im just trying to find answers and a plan, a purpose.
Fallen off the wagon a little with eid here. Weeks long of visiting open houses and open offices. Great for socialising but it has got in my way of workouts and oh god the food everywhere.
Now that im no longer a husband i am in search of a identity. itching to do some soul searching but im stuck in routine of work and life.
Me31 W31 M11yrs S6yrs 23Mar16-BD 9Apr16-W admitted EA w boss. 27Jun16-W Changed job and promised NC w OM. 14Jul16-Continued contact w OM.Start of Separation. 24May17-Divorced.
I have a question, how do you girls and gals who hanged on for a year do it? Im about 6 months from BD and i cant envision saving the M or R or whatever.
Im thinking more and more about the D, moving on, going our separate ways. I know i dont have to rush it but also there is nothing to tie me to this person who broke and abondoned me. Is it all anger making me think this way? or an acceptance of the reality and that i can do nothing but focusing on moving forward.
Me31 W31 M11yrs S6yrs 23Mar16-BD 9Apr16-W admitted EA w boss. 27Jun16-W Changed job and promised NC w OM. 14Jul16-Continued contact w OM.Start of Separation. 24May17-Divorced.
Me31 W31 M11yrs S6yrs 23Mar16-BD 9Apr16-W admitted EA w boss. 27Jun16-W Changed job and promised NC w OM. 14Jul16-Continued contact w OM.Start of Separation. 24May17-Divorced.
Hi nature... I think everyone who is over a year in and not yet divorced asks that very same question. I know I did. I came here and asked the same question 3 times. For me, at those times, there really was no difference between the current situation and getting divorced so I held out. But I did debate it, still do. It comes down to what you really want. I still wanted to be married to WW... What do you want?
I wanted to swing by and thank you for dropping by my pad. Interesting that you are seemingly in a similar place as I after such a short ride of the crazy train.
I plan to catch up on your story as it would be good to bounce some thoughts off of you as who would have thought I would be worried that the coaster ride would be so short for me. Not that it is over, but I see so many others that have a longer trek.
Anyhow, I will swing back shortly and thank you again for your musings. It is good to have support from those that truely understand the chaos we are experiencing.
Me 46 Former W 46 D19 D7 BD Feb 2016 WAW moves out 4/16/16 D final 6/1/2017
It's time for me to start changin' the way I look at the world......and at myself. ~James Howlett aka Wolverine
Last night i felt low, depressed and didnt want to be alone, it was 9pm i was dreading being home alone. Its the earliest i have been home for weeks when im on my own. I usually get in midnight or later completely exhausted.
Out of the blue i received a text from a female acquaintance. She had heard about my sich and was pretty much sharing her misery, she sympathised with my sich i guess. Even though it was only text messages it was nice to be distracted.
Ended up dragging my brother to watch a late night movie with me. Got back at 2am, sleep came easily then.
Im starting to get eye bags from all the late nights, wonder if i should take something just so i can sleep earlier.
Me31 W31 M11yrs S6yrs 23Mar16-BD 9Apr16-W admitted EA w boss. 27Jun16-W Changed job and promised NC w OM. 14Jul16-Continued contact w OM.Start of Separation. 24May17-Divorced.
Natus - I been reading your sitch. It seems like you're doing a great job with your GAL. Everything I've read on this board is that with work every new day gives you the ability to detach easier.
I hear you about the sleeping. I'm taking some non-prescription stuff and it really helps. For me, it use to never be this way, but I can't sleep for long periods anymore. I get way too early.
