Keep in mind that anti-dep is not real easy to use. Not like popping a few tylenols for a headache. It takes a couple of weeks to get stabilized in your system, and -- if you choose to get off -- you have to take your time weaning yourself off. Going cold turkey can give you bad side effects. Also if one doesn't work well, your doctor can have you try another. All have side effects, like sleepiness, and impact on sex drive, etc.
Seriously discuss the benefits carefully vs. costs w/ your doctor. If you feel like depression is making it hard to function at home and/or work ... it could be worth it to go on it for a few months.
I'd like to hear more about what you got out of phone coaching.
For me, my IC has been my main counselor... along w/ reading this forum.
Me: 50, MLC/WW 45 Young kids Nov 2015: BD1 Apr 2016: BD2 Jan 2017: W filed Feb 2017: D final
thanks Forgump, it' most certainly just to see options / talk. who knows if I'll even go on any. I almost feel like a little kid, asking for help. Again, my main emotion is fear, all the time, so when the dr had her assistant call me and the girl said with "your normal doc and doc.2" I was like "who's that" i started to panic haha I don't know why. I always feel like I'll say the wrong thing to my IC or my doc and I'll end up in the looney bin. It's hard expressing feelings when anything can be taken out of context. I read someone's thread not long ago and I couldn't have said it better myself, they expressed how they aren't, and I am not either, suicidal but man, sometimes you just don't even want to be. something about being a black nothing. at any rate, I feel like I don't like this life, this isn't MY life, I'm living the life of someone else and I hate it. I'm definitely having a hard time everywhere in my life. Idk though, maybe I can GAL enough and get out of it, I just don't know.
For me my biggest struggle with my IC is we talk about past feelings. I wasn't getting the tools to live day to day with my situation, I'm still anxious, scared, on edge. Which is why I decided to call, It was good, I immediately felt like It's a situation I can handle, basically It's like going over the book with someone right there, she asked questions pertaining to my life / the book that I hadn't though about. I think I mentioned it in my previous posts, I read the book, but felt lost. (I'm a pretty intelligent person) I didn't know what to do or where to start. I didn't know how or why Normal W showed up for a week-ish let alone why she disappeared again, or how to head toward normal W again. So with Coach I was able to see what I was doing right and what was a cheese less tunnel.
I'm in this for the long haul I need to make sure I take care of me and I do everything I can before I call it quits.
Got a text from W early in the am telling me there's nothing to report about clinicals, nurse is nice. hope you're well. -densest seem like a temp check to me. Definitely bummed I'm not the first call she made yesterday, (did hope for it, didn't wait around for it) doing something different, I'd still call her to listen about school, test, blah blah. Coach was firm on NO, let W initiate. does that text even require a response? I was going to reply something like "glad you like the nurse" and that's it.
I've never really worn my ring...ever. after W came back from vacay and I had a "come to jesus" moment about us (same time she had a come away from jesus moment about us) I began wearing it(a week before BD).
I feel like after she told me to move on, and I must act as if I am, I should take it off. (I've come to love it, I never gave it a fair chance, my mistake)
My coach mentioned something about I never listen to the W so if I stop pursuing and calling and stuff, she will see I am listening about her "move on". so I'm thinking the ring's gotta go!
The word in this community as to wear the ring or not wear the ring is purely an individual choice. The rule of thumb is that being an individual choice, then whatever you do, it should be done purely for you. Do not do it with hopes of a reaction from the W. Do not do it with hopes your W will notice or feel something about it. Simply ,make the choice for you.
Some LBS see a lot of symbolism in the ring and others not so much.
I never wore mine in the 19 years of marriage, because of a personal preference. I did pull it out for a short time after she moved out and wore it more as a reminder for myself of many things. But I have since placed it in a drawer as it really did not remind me of anything beneficial and I still do not enjoy the feeling of a ring of any sort on my hand.
So in short, do what is right for you and you only.
Me 46 Former W 46 D19 D7 BD Feb 2016 WAW moves out 4/16/16 D final 6/1/2017
It's time for me to start changin' the way I look at the world......and at myself. ~James Howlett aka Wolverine
Personally, I wore mine until a few days after W moved out and then I took it off. I left it in the dish on my nightstand where it always sat when I wasn't wearing it and then after a few weeks I moved the dish and put the entire thing, ring and all, away in my jewelry cabinet. I haven't looked at it since.
I still miss wearing it, I really loved it and loved what it meant but at this point I don't feel like it has a ton of meaning to it and it was less painful for me to not wear it than to keep it on as a constant reminder of what has happened recently. That being said I do hope to be able to wear it again one day, even if it is just as a fashion piece and not a symbol of love.
W:32 M:26 T:5 yrs M: 3 yr BD: JUN 2016 W Moved out: early JUL 2016 W Filed for D: mid JUL 2016 EA: 06/16? PA: 07/16 Moved in w/ ow: 07/16 D final: 10/16
thanks, I know its what I want, I've even chimed in on some other ring posts..it's such a difficult decision. I'm totally doing it for me, but even for me, I don't know what right or wrong.
journaling - making plans or looking into making plans and then I just get this overwhelming feeling and want to cry...really missing the W (not that there's a time I don't miss her) just sitting at my desk, and thinking how in the hell did WE get here.
have a busy afternoon, beers with co workers after work, dancing with some of the softball girls later.
just want a hug, and someone to tell me it'll be okay..
Hey dancing was a lot of fun! I learned to two step with some fine older women. Then made it to the younger crowd of the dance floor. But left shortly after.
Slept like poop. Dreamt about W and how everything was magically ok. Felt so real. On the verge of tears when I woke and realized it was just a dream.. Throwing me off my mental and emotional game today already and it's like 7am.
That's something I need to work on - getting out of my head and carrying on.
