Hi HaWho - wow, it's like Doonesbury's 'In search of Reagan's brain' in your house! I can't wait to find out where the computer turns up.
Looks like you got in a little practice with the truth dart too. I think whenever you offer these, it is always best to do so from a place of calm maturity - and even with a touch of humour thrown in. It sounds like your eldest was doing the same too.
Yes, it is a huge shift to go from being the guy with the tickles to him in his present state. And I think that just goes to show that MLC is a tough place to be. After all, don't we all want to be the ones who have a bond with our kids and enjoy tickling them?
Good for you with the introspection and self-improvement. I really rate Brene Brown and will look up the talk you mentioned.
Xx
T 13 M 7 Me 48 H 46 SS 15 BD 7.14 PA D final 5.16 (H filed)
We receive & we lose, and must try to achieve gratitude & embrace with whole hearts whatever of life that remains after the losses - Dubus
I'm going to be interested also as to where his computer is. It's probably under the bed w/the huge dust bunnies! LOL! I am very proud of you that you gave him a truth dart and did it so calmly. Your S12 has got this detachment and truth dart stuff down to a science. After all, he can do it much better than us because your h is on the same age level as your S12.
I am so sorry that he is still accusing you of going into his locked room. I guess you are using mental telepathy to move things around and open the door w/o a key. He really has lost the plot in many ways.
Continue moving forward.
PS: Here's the thread that HaWho referenced, i.e., Truegritter's postings on mentalradio's thread.
Sit quietly, the answers will reveal themselves when you least expect them to. The past is gone, the present is a gift and you need to focus on today, allow the future to reveal itself when it is ready.
It sure is like 'In Search of Reagan's Brain,' around here. LOL Sotto!
Job, thanks for linking that thread here. It's a good one! And yes, maybe I am telepathic.
OMG - I did peek my head into the dorm room at some point last night to ask him if he was sure this was the last place he used it. And boy, was it a D.U.M.P. The problem is, he is so flaky that he very well could have left it in his unlocked car and it could be long gone now. Who knows?!? I hope our identities aren't stolen.
The funny thing is I started to ask him to slow down and go through his day, step by step. So, I asked "where is the last place you were?" This is of course a normal question when you're trying to help someone find a lost item. Well, he wouldn't tell me! Because it's top secret! So that's when I just stopped trying to help.
All I can say is, I am quite an intriguing LBS. Here are the things I have done according to my MLCer and bear in mind, that while I have been accused of doing these things I am *actually* doing something like cooking dinner, folding laundry or listening to an audio book (LOL!)! My MLCer has accused me of trying to poison him, steal his epipens so that after I poison him he can't save himself (I am very thorough!), plotting to murder him, stealing his computer and stealing things from outside his locked stinky dorm room.
He just came home: no computer. I can tell he thinks I have it. I said hello and he grumbled hello. His demeanor is angry. S10 says "hi" and h cheerfully and loudly said: "HELLO!"
Oh boy.
Me 41, H 47, M 15 yrs, S11, S13 BD 1: 11/4/14 we work on it; really I pretzel myself BD 2: 3/31/15 H goes down to "dorm room" 8/15: H back to MBR 10/15: H back in dorm room 1/18: H files, now divorced
Based on the latest installments of the Wonder Boy adventures, I cannot help but wonder if he actually spends his days at the local arcade center playing 'Centipede' instead of clocking in hours at the office.
After he insistently accused you of stealing his laptop and you initially trying to help him which was very very nice, why did you still go out of your way to help him find it?
You did great with the truth dart, but why approach the subject again? Still in his crazy head, he thinks you took it. Honestly, even if you were the one to help him find it, he would probably have said you planted it there and led him to it after you stole it.
Your heart is big, you are a super DB'er, but walk away from the insanity. If he wants to go off like a little boy and not take responsibility, leave him to it.
Hi Ginger. The only reason I went out of my way to help is because this situation directly impacts me and to a great extent. If that computer was stolen then there's a good chance I'll be dealing with identity theft. And that's a nightmare to untangle. Ugh.
That said, I had no intention of actually retracing some of his steps while he retraced others. I knew from the get-go I could not be the one to find it because he would think I planted it.
Along Wonka's thinking, I don't think he's responsible enough to own a computer yet. Ha ha. Centipede, LOL!
I am hoping Job is right and maybe it's somewhere in that dump of a room. Crossing my fingers . . .
Me 41, H 47, M 15 yrs, S11, S13 BD 1: 11/4/14 we work on it; really I pretzel myself BD 2: 3/31/15 H goes down to "dorm room" 8/15: H back to MBR 10/15: H back in dorm room 1/18: H files, now divorced
It's either in the dump of a room or in the car under one of the seats. He doesn't stray too far from home unless he took it w/him when he went to visit a friend.
How do you lose a computer!? I am very curious what happened to it. I hope it wasn't stolen
Good job with the truth dart. Boundaries are so important for us in this situation. Stand your ground with those, your H can be quite the bully at times.
I like to hear you keeping your focus on you, don't get sucked into the crazy!
Me 48 H 46 S 11 M 2004 BD 8/13 H moved out 2/15 -live in the present, enjoy the beauty around and within you, explore your new future-
HaWho, The MLC re-writers have recreated us with new evil personalities. I'm a hateful harpy who won't let mine do anything fun and you are a magical klepto who walks through walls!
I'm going to guess that if he's as messy as you say, its under a pile of clothes or a jumble of bedding. Are we wagering money, chips or marshmellows?
M-51 H-54 2D-27 and 25 M-26 yrs Bombshell and IHS 7-29-15 He moved out 10-3-15 D filed 1-27-16 D final 10-27-16
