Previous Thread
Next Thread
Print Thread
Page 6 of 11 1 2 4 5 6 7 8 10 11
Joined: Mar 2016
Posts: 3,952
D
Member
Offline
Member
D
Joined: Mar 2016
Posts: 3,952
Originally Posted By: Natus
Planning to get some GAL in sat night. Couple of ladies from work want to bring me indoor rock climbing.


Natus,

That sounds like fun! I hope you're intending to invite me to go along. Can smiley face girl come too?

Joined: Apr 2016
Posts: 436
N
Natus Offline OP
Member
OP Offline
Member
N
Joined: Apr 2016
Posts: 436
We separated on Thursday during a long weekend.

It feels like BD all over again except this time im numb.

I flirt back between reveling at my newfound freedom and extreme heartache for the dead M and my little boy. One one hand endless opportunities to pursue my dreams and goals without guilt and walking and eggshells but on the other i would trade it all away and a few limbs if have to just to have my family back together again.

She makes it easier for me to detach though, she seemed pleased, ready and had no qualm's. Didnt even put up a fight when i left the house the with my son.

Her family and mum has been messaging me to be patient, i tell them i have put up with this for last 5 months. I can do no longer, not when shes not interested in trying at all.

I have my boy for the next 3 days. Then im alone for 3days and repeat.


Me31 W31 M11yrs S6yrs
23Mar16-BD
9Apr16-W admitted EA w boss.
27Jun16-W Changed job and promised NC w OM.
14Jul16-Continued contact w OM.Start of Separation.
24May17-Divorced.
Joined: Apr 2016
Posts: 436
N
Natus Offline OP
Member
OP Offline
Member
N
Joined: Apr 2016
Posts: 436
Currently we have agreed that i will have the house Sunday PM to Weds Am and then she will have the house Weds Pm to Sunday AM.

On days i am not there i am staying at my parents (cause big house) and she will do the same at her parents (well thats what shes saying now)

Basically my Son will still be in-house through out. Its a temporary arrangement as we havent discussed what we are doing with the house yet. I feel i need some time before that discussion takes place however im worried my son may have false hope all though this is the most comfortable solution for him now, he has his home, his bed, his toys etc.

Ill be talking to IC later to go through everything.


Me31 W31 M11yrs S6yrs
23Mar16-BD
9Apr16-W admitted EA w boss.
27Jun16-W Changed job and promised NC w OM.
14Jul16-Continued contact w OM.Start of Separation.
24May17-Divorced.
Joined: May 2016
Posts: 1,509
C
Member
Offline
Member
C
Joined: May 2016
Posts: 1,509
Natus, I feel for you brother. Although I'm in a similar situation (in house separation) we don't have a young child together. I can only imagine the difficulty in trying not only to figure out what is best for you, but also having to weigh that with your sons needs.


M - 9 1/2 years
5/5/16 - Bomb drop - 3 week EA
10/31/16 - We sold house
01/10/18 - D Finalized
Joined: Apr 2016
Posts: 436
N
Natus Offline OP
Member
OP Offline
Member
N
Joined: Apr 2016
Posts: 436
I firmly believe there is no way back, not only from her actions but the thorough hurt she has caused i feel is irreparable.

Her family is expecting me to be patient, Im trying to tell them there is nothing there to be patient for. Her mother actually visited to see son and basically asked me to have patience. Its a little awkward when i am not the one who wants this (although now i do - cause living together and not getting anywhere was hell).

My IC expects me to be super nice, helpful, all around great guy for the xW. I think i can only manage cordial when we do meet up but thankfully this week there is no reason too see her, she will pick him up from school on the mid week so no handover required.


Me31 W31 M11yrs S6yrs
23Mar16-BD
9Apr16-W admitted EA w boss.
27Jun16-W Changed job and promised NC w OM.
14Jul16-Continued contact w OM.Start of Separation.
24May17-Divorced.
Joined: Apr 2016
Posts: 436
N
Natus Offline OP
Member
OP Offline
Member
N
Joined: Apr 2016
Posts: 436
Going to complete my first week of physical separation. I've been preparing for this for weeks if not months but still feels horrible.

This morning i dropped son to school and wont see him till Sunday. Its her turn w him now. No handover as she will pick him up from school so i wont need to see her.

Desperately need to make plans this next 4 days cause ill be alone until its my turn with son again.


Me31 W31 M11yrs S6yrs
23Mar16-BD
9Apr16-W admitted EA w boss.
27Jun16-W Changed job and promised NC w OM.
14Jul16-Continued contact w OM.Start of Separation.
24May17-Divorced.
Joined: Apr 2016
Posts: 436
N
Natus Offline OP
Member
OP Offline
Member
N
Joined: Apr 2016
Posts: 436
I've essentially gone LRT and kept any msg response short and business like. shes doing the same too now.

She always follows my lead in everything. Even the separation, she wanted it but i had to be the one to initiate it (for my sanity).


Me31 W31 M11yrs S6yrs
23Mar16-BD
9Apr16-W admitted EA w boss.
27Jun16-W Changed job and promised NC w OM.
14Jul16-Continued contact w OM.Start of Separation.
24May17-Divorced.
Joined: Sep 2015
Posts: 1,965
J
Member
Offline
Member
J
Joined: Sep 2015
Posts: 1,965
Hi, just curious. Why is her family asking you to be patient? Do they have any grounds for doing so?


You can call me Dory/ Grl.

As a wise fish once sang,"Just keep swimming!"

It's no use to go back to yesterday because I was a different person then.
Joined: Jun 2007
Posts: 18,666
Likes: 1
S
Member
Offline
Member
S
Joined: Jun 2007
Posts: 18,666
Likes: 1
Quote:
My IC expects me to be super nice, helpful, all around great guy for the xW.


Maybe you need to find another IC.


It is not about what you feel should work in your M. It is about doing the work that gets the right results. Do what works!
Joined: Apr 2016
Posts: 436
N
Natus Offline OP
Member
OP Offline
Member
N
Joined: Apr 2016
Posts: 436
Originally Posted By: JksD
Hi, just curious. Why is her family asking you to be patient? Do they have any grounds for doing so?


They seem to think if i be patient the W might come around. I doubt it. Shes completely indifferent to me. I am just stifling her well i was until we separated.


Me31 W31 M11yrs S6yrs
23Mar16-BD
9Apr16-W admitted EA w boss.
27Jun16-W Changed job and promised NC w OM.
14Jul16-Continued contact w OM.Start of Separation.
24May17-Divorced.
Page 6 of 11 1 2 4 5 6 7 8 10 11

Moderated by  Cadet, DnJ, job, Michele Weiner-Davis 

Link Copied to Clipboard