STBX chose the day. There is less traffic usually on a weekday than the weekend.
H-46 XW-38 T-7 M-6 S-9,8,8,6,4 S 11/30/15, I filed 12/8/15 EA 2/1/16 D dismissed 3/24/16 PA 3/18/16 confirmed 4/22/16 XW files for D 4/1/16 - D final 11/17/16 Finally moving forward...
I can't help but shake my head in disbelief at your STBX. She chooses to leave M, chooses to move to Toronto, chooses the day for exchange, chooses to have an OM, chooses ... and still has the nerve to blame everything on you. WOW!
Me:49 W:45 M:19 T:22 EA confirmed and ended 8/2014 S:19,17 D:9,5
I think I am a pretty patient guy. This has been my life for 6 years now.
I hope I did well with validating in the text messages. I know I need a lot of work on how to respond but STBX sees the validation comments as mocking her. I also shake my head and can't believe how much anger she still has with this whole situation.
I am pretty sure that a lot of that anger will go away if I move up there.
Ls discussed some rough numbers for child support with me yesterday. I was surprised to hear how low the amount would be if STBX and I had 50/50 custody. I would pay less than $1K. On the flip side, if I stay in Michigan and she has to pay me then she will pay over $1K assuming she is imputed the minimum salary in Michigan. Both these assume she would have the boys adoption subsidy going to her.
I do not think she has thought this through well enough to realize how much financial strain will be put on her and her family.
H-46 XW-38 T-7 M-6 S-9,8,8,6,4 S 11/30/15, I filed 12/8/15 EA 2/1/16 D dismissed 3/24/16 PA 3/18/16 confirmed 4/22/16 XW files for D 4/1/16 - D final 11/17/16 Finally moving forward...
Those numbers are great in terms of what I know about the entire custody piece for you!
And are you struggling with worrying about her with the financial piece or the kids? Or both?
It's a tough juggle. If she struggles so will your boyz I am keeping that in my mind with my discussions but its hard.
_________________________ Me-48 Spouse-WAW 52 Married for 10 years D7 ILYBNILWY 7/15 Suspect EA/PA 12/15 No confirmation/denial She files 1/2016 Working towards the Big D ...still in progress....
I do not think she has thought this through well enough to realize how much financial strain will be put on her and her family.
I don't think a WW ever "thinks it through"... my W is another perfect example of that. Files for D with almost no money in joint checking, and no source of income for the next two months, and refuses to find a filler job until school starts back up. WAS has a whole new kind of mindset, and it is not one of rationality.
I am pretty sure that a lot of that anger will go away if I move up there.
Yeaahhhh, I don't think so. The only thing your W has been consistent about is blame shifting and placing allllll the reasons for her unhappiness on your shoulders. Even though she is the cause of her own demise she continues to point fingers at you.
Jim, You are an amazing father with assets only an idiot wouldn't recognize. Meanwhile your wife has the maturity of a 3 year old and the planning of a gold fish. I kind of want to whack her upside the head with some reality so she can see how stupid she is being. Keep doing the work, brother, you can only win by being the best JimKao you can be.
M 10yrs T 13yrs BD #1Oct 2015-PA between WAH and COW BD #2 April 2016-WH resumed PA, she broke it off Jan 2 2017 WH says he wants divorce April '17-Letting go 2018 D busted DD8, DS6, DS3
I am pretty sure that a lot of that anger will go away if I move up there.
Originally Posted By: SadSara
The only thing your W has been consistent about is blame shifting and placing allllll the reasons for her unhappiness on your shoulder
I think SS is spot on, why would you think the anger would just "go away" if you moved up there? I think your WW would see it as something totally different than what you are thinking... and this blame-shifting thing... it won't go away. My W too, has the maturity of a brattie little girl who doesn't get her way, she will find some way to blame you, regardless of how "perfect" your actions are.
Thank you for the positive comments. I don't give myself enough credit sometimes.
So I know I have posted a lot about moving there after the D and on my terms. What I have been thinking about lately though are what are those terms after the D?
Do I offer a different custody arrangement? What other boundaries can I set?
In my head I keep thinking I want everything to be the same as to whatever the outcome of the D is, but I would do things like take my S2 to her place instead of paying child care. That is assuming she does not have a job and is still living off of her parents.
Maybe I should just stop thinking about this nonsense at this point in time. I like to plan and analyze many scenarios though so I am prepared emotionally.
H-46 XW-38 T-7 M-6 S-9,8,8,6,4 S 11/30/15, I filed 12/8/15 EA 2/1/16 D dismissed 3/24/16 PA 3/18/16 confirmed 4/22/16 XW files for D 4/1/16 - D final 11/17/16 Finally moving forward...
Lets play a game... Plan every scenario you can think of, lets say, at least ten or so. Make the most analytic decisions and projections you can based on what you have thought up.
Now, take all those scenarios, outlines, plans, strategies, etc... put them in a bag and place that bag out on your driveway. Your shell of a wife comes and picks up that bag, and heads back to Canada. Somewhere along the way, Her car is struck by an oncoming vehicle and the car immediately catches fire and explodes. No survivors, human nor analytical...
I laughed a bit as I read this. I get it, stay where I am.
I will have to post later tonight to explain my thoughts more clearly.
H-46 XW-38 T-7 M-6 S-9,8,8,6,4 S 11/30/15, I filed 12/8/15 EA 2/1/16 D dismissed 3/24/16 PA 3/18/16 confirmed 4/22/16 XW files for D 4/1/16 - D final 11/17/16 Finally moving forward...
