So, I finally got a full night's sleep, plus a whole bunch extra. Given that I got exactly 3 hours of nap-time the night before, on top of chronic sleep deprivation, I had sheer exhaustion on my side!!!
I went to bed at 12:30, woke up at 6, and then decided to take some Xanax because I was wide awake and that was not nearly enough sleep. Well... I slept until 1 pm!!! Hot damn. I finally feel rested. Yes, I sacrificed half the day to the sleep gods, but it was so worth it!
Yesterday I had planned to spend the morning processing the cherries I picked in the morning, but I realized that my cherry pitters are in my other house. Ugh. I so need to go and get all of my things. It's so silly, but I had to go out to buy a new pair of pitters, so my Mom and I each can have one to use. Twelve pounds of cherries will go a whole lot faster with two people on the job. There is something in me that
Anyway, instead of working my way through the cherries, I bought cherry pitters and then went to play Cinderella with L-Friend. Not the glamour part of the story, either... the cleaning part! He just rented a huge space that needed to be cleaned out, and we spent hours vacuuming, sweeping, mopping, etc.. And it was so darn warm yesterday and the space has no a/c. Yuck!!
Eventually I just had to take a break and take a hour nap in the middle of the day. Then, we took a short bike ride, ate ice cream before dinner (because life is uncertain, sometimes one simply must eat desert first!), and I headed home to crash. Early, I might add. Lately, any sleep before 3 am is early for this camper. Maybe this will be a healthy break from my renewed insomnia? Fingers crossed.
SparrowHawk I would love to hear your thoughts. Sorry for the thread delay. I just didn't have any journaling time left in me last night. I'm going to dry a bunch of these cherries, so they will be around to enjoy for quite some time. I'm happy to share! Never made a pie with rehydrated cherries, though...
Of course, a bunch will be going into the freezer, so there are options.
JimKao, thank you again for your kind words, and Painter, I may just test out your cherry liquor idea on a small scale. I have to buy some liquor, though. I only have a smidgen of vodka in the house that I use to make vanilla extract. I don't drink alcohol, but a bit of nice cherry flavor on ice cream sounds wonderful. Yum.
I wish everyone a lovely day, and hopefully a full night's sleep.
Oh, and on the D process front, there is no news to report. No one has been served. H has apparently gone missing, and the servers looking for me aren't even bothering. I am at my house every single day. Anyway, that bit of limbo continues.
H: 44, Me: 45 Married: 20 y Together: 25 y no kids Walk away: 12/15 Asked for temp separation 12/25/15 PA confirmed 3/16 (apparently neither the first, nor the last PA he has had) H filed for D 5/16
It sounds like yesterday was a good day! I like the playfulness that's coming through in some of what you do now - it sounds like you are enjoying life, and that's such progress!
Did you get through a lot of cherries?
Are you going to make any steps to take control over the D process - so you can establish jurisdiction?
M 16 yrs, WH62, P54 3 adult blended kids EA 11/13, BD1 6/14 PA fall 14, BD2 2/15 Piecing 2015, BD3 12/15 Separated 4/16 WH moved OW in 5/16 Divorced 6/15/17
I picked about 12 pounds of cherries, of which I reserved about a pound for fresh eating, and then I froze half of what remained and set up the rest to dehydrate.
I just now remembered your idea for the cherry liquor, Painter and I am totally kicking myself!!!! The pitting and prepping process went so quickly and I was having so much fun gabbing with my mother as we worked that I totally forgot. I had planned to fill a jar with cherries and put them aside in the fridge until I could buy some alcohol tomorrow. Wow. Scatter brain syndrome is back in full force, huh?
Honestly, with my Mom and I working together and using those brand new cherry pitters, we managed to get through all of the cherries in about 90 minutes. It was so efficient that I was already kicking myself that I didn't pick a second bucket of cherries, because they tasted even better today than they did yesterday, and that is saying a lot. They're delicious!!
I wish I could grow them here, but the three cherry trees I've planted have all died within a year of being planted. My R-friend has also planted cherries in her yard. Hers have lived, at least, but never produced. The U-pick orchard is only an hour away, so it's strange that those orchard cherries obviously thrive while ours just die or languish. On the other hand, I know that orchards spray their trees and I am unwilling to spread ugly chemicals all over my land. In the northeast, I hear it's spray or get no fruit. At this point, I'm ready to call it quits on trying to grow any stone fruits at all. Better to "grow what grows" than constantly fight to keep non-productive trees alive. So far, what I know thrives here are mulberries and apples, and my pears are happy but have yet to produce any fruit. Veggies love it here, too.
My lawyers have a plan for the next D process steps. I'm trying not to put much here, on the off chance that H might find my threads. "Keeping cards close," as Miss Vanilla says. I wish it was all over already. I'm tired of it dragging on and on. If H wants out so badly, then just get on with it already.
Tomorrow I'm back to Cinderella mode, and/or moving contractor mode. Either way, plenty of work in my future, which is fine by me. I'm a worker-bee at heart. Plus, this work exchange was prearranged so that he will help me move stuff from my other house.
Anyway, it's well past my bedtime goal of 12:30, so I'm off for the night. Pleasant dreams!
More Cinderella action today, but the space is finally clean enough for L-friend to move his stuff into, so that's progress, and it was a much cooler and pleasant day.
, we had ice cream again, did a bike ride, and then we had a cheap casual dinner.
Not a whole lot else to report except that H's relationship with OW appears to be over.
This morning I did my H and OW photo feed recon (still trying to figure out where the heck H is these days) and found that the caption for her photo of him from a few days ago had been edited to "all around fraud". Another photo was of a painting and the caption was a broken heart. H's entire photo feed is completely deleted. No idea what happened, but I have my suspicions that she got wind of the truth behind his stories, and he did his usual... Delete, delete, delete because he is embarrassed.
Anyway, no big deal for me, other than a feeling that there may really be such a thing as karma in this world. H just got outed for being a liar to all his new friends. So sorry, honey, but it's hard to start a genuine new life when it is based on lies.
H: 44, Me: 45 Married: 20 y Together: 25 y no kids Walk away: 12/15 Asked for temp separation 12/25/15 PA confirmed 3/16 (apparently neither the first, nor the last PA he has had) H filed for D 5/16
Oh my goodness Phoebe - that's quite a development! Well, looks like things have gone south there for him. I have been following your sitch but I couldn't recall that your H was lying to OW. Was she not aware that he was M, or was there something else?
You sound even and grounded in any case, which is the main thing. When I read about OW and social media, I hate that whole thing of 'outing' someone online and wearing your heart on your sleeve - ugh. Though I empathise with her if she has been lied to.
Take care and keep moving forward - you're doing well xx
T 13 M 7 Me 48 H 46 SS 15 BD 7.14 PA D final 5.16 (H filed)
We receive & we lose, and must try to achieve gratitude & embrace with whole hearts whatever of life that remains after the losses - Dubus
Yes, my H lied to his entire new network of "friends." He told them all that he was either single or divorced when we were very much together. He told OW when they met last year that he was separated, and that's as close to the truth, according to him, that he shared with anyone.
Of course, he was neither separated, nor ethically free to become involved with anyone even after he ran away and created actual separation. Why? Because when I asked him about the boundaries and expectations for this time apart, he assured me that "of course neither of us will be involved with other people. That would be irreparable." Shame on me for taking him at his word, huh?
So anyway, he met OW two months or more before he walked, told her he was S when he wasn't, told me he wasn't seeing anyone when he was, blah, blah, blah.
So, no I'm strangely not worked up about any little bit if it. This crash was inevitable. You can't build a life on a foundation of lies. One day it was bound to fall down.
Today I'm having a girls' day with my Mom and Aunt.
H: 44, Me: 45 Married: 20 y Together: 25 y no kids Walk away: 12/15 Asked for temp separation 12/25/15 PA confirmed 3/16 (apparently neither the first, nor the last PA he has had) H filed for D 5/16
Yes, I even like Your H's XOW a little bit now (just a tiny bit mind!) Still, who knows how things will unfold. My XH and his OW had many offs and ons...but as far as I know they have been on for a while now. Prior to that they split up and got back together four or five times....
Glad you are keeping the focus on you though - I'm impressed with your calm reaction.
Xx
T 13 M 7 Me 48 H 46 SS 15 BD 7.14 PA D final 5.16 (H filed)
We receive & we lose, and must try to achieve gratitude & embrace with whole hearts whatever of life that remains after the losses - Dubus
The state of H's next relationship really has nothing at all to do with me, nor does it change my life now that it may or may not be over. I'm still working on learning how to navigate this new world that I was thrust into.
I had a whole lot of fun today out with Mom and Aunt, and I did some very rare (for me) retail therapy. I bought two pair of shoes, and a pair of emerald earrings to replace the one that my chicken plucked off my ear last year and ingested. I had asked for a new set for Christmas, but that didn't really turn out as planned. Anyway, my life is strange and often funny. The earring-eating chicken is a good story, at the very least.
So, it's been a really good day thus far, and now I'm off to help L-friend do some moving and then go biking, and dinner, so I expect the rest of the day will be good, too.
A friend commented that I am starting to laugh a lot more when I talk to her now, so there's another sign that I'm starting to get back to myself. And I've now gone a whopping 9 days without tears. Ding! Ding! Ding! That is a new record, and I haven't even felt sad once in that time frame.
Progress, methinks.
H: 44, Me: 45 Married: 20 y Together: 25 y no kids Walk away: 12/15 Asked for temp separation 12/25/15 PA confirmed 3/16 (apparently neither the first, nor the last PA he has had) H filed for D 5/16
