Stages of grief

[Phoebe]

That is because you are one awesome lady, Painter!

[Zephyr]

good morning painter, hope you were able to rustle up some sleep.

so much going on, stuff swirling around makes it hard to get restful sleep.

sending out a hug for (((painter)))

[Painter]

Thank you both!

Slept from 3am to 7, then again from sometime to 9. Had IC in the morning, a client (my first regular paying!) this afternoon, then drawing class in the evening. I can tell I'm progressing in class, and my son commented on it, as well.

I came across something really shocking from H's past today. It's about his previous M and I am completely reeling. I don't know why I went looking - it didn't even feel important, more like a chore I had to do. This is the way I have gotten almost all the information about the A, impulses to do things that seem irrelevant but then gives me proof of his deceit, or having it handed to me.

So tonight I will take sleeping meds again. Nothing but work on the calendar for tomorrow and Friday except work, but Saturday will be busy.

[Phoebe]

Painter, I'm really happy to hear about you class gong well, and that you had your first paying client, too. That is awesome.

I'm sorry that you found more about your H that you did not expect. At some point I hope that the surprises will stop coming.

I'm right there with you on the quality of the day. It's been a day for me, too, though most of my own making, I'm afraid. I can't even decide how much I can or want to share, but I'm not pleased.

I may well take some meds myself this evening, because otherwise I am 100% certain that I will be up all night long.

Sleep well, my dear Painter. There are better day s ahead for both of us. We just have to take it day by day.

[Phoebe]

Hi there. Just stopping by to say hello and to wish you a good night's sleep.

[Painter]

Ha! We're so predictable.

Hope you had a good day! I'll be over in a minute to check on your thread.

I've been home, working all day. Tried something new today, I worked standing up at a tall desk and it seems to make my back feel better.

This weekend there's a large art fair in town, Son and I are going, then I'm meeting a friend for lunch/a few hours of hanging out. She's coming from a couple of hours away so I don't get to see her often.

Also need to take the dog to a larger park for some exercise. I got her down 5 pounds over the last few months, still got 5 pounds to go. I can tell she's getting in better shape and now crave more activity.

I was invited to go paddleboarding tomorrow morning but there's just not time. I hope to go soon, though!

[PsySara]

Hi Painter! I really like the overall tone of your threads recently. You are coming across strong and confident, I wish all us DB'ers lived close by each other so we could meet in person. I would love to see your art and match faces with names.

[Phoebe]

Stopping by for my evening visit, Painter! I guess I am predictable. I like to check in on my friends and make sure things are going OK.

Very nice job on getting those 5 pounds off your pup. That's excellent progress, and it's great that you are seeing behavior that reflects her increased fitness and health.

You really do sound like you have climbed up to a better place, and I am so glad to see it. It shows in the words you choose and the activities that you write about, and it's wonderful.

when you go paddle boarding, I'd like to hear more about it. I've never done it, but it looks like it might be both fun and challenging.

[Painter]

Hi Painter! I really like the overall tone of your threads recently. You are coming across strong and confident, I wish all us DB'ers lived close by each other so we could meet in person. I would love to see your art and match faces with names.

Sara, I'm going through some anger and it gives energy and clarity. I have found out something about H from his past - from a very long time ago but it confirms a pattern of behavior that has been there his entire life - and it helped me let go a little more.

[Painter]

Stopping by for my evening visit, Painter! I guess I am predictable. I like to check in on my friends and make sure things are going OK.

Very nice job on getting those 5 pounds off your pup. That's excellent progress, and it's great that you are seeing behavior that reflects her increased fitness and health.

You really do sound like you have climbed up to a better place, and I am so glad to see it. It shows in the words you choose and the activities that you write about, and it's wonderful.

when you go paddle boarding, I'd like to hear more about it. I've never done it, but it looks like it might be both fun and challenging.

Phoebe, I just realized I haven't cried in 2 weeks. I think I'm in a mix of acceptance and anger. It really helped me to talk to our MC (I had a phone session with her last week) because she confirmed to me that it wasn't anything I did, and that H is just unable to deal with his issues and has poor coping mechanisms. It was so validating that I think it allowed me to move on quite a bit more. I don't feel much sadness these days.

Penny put on some weight after she started on Apoquel last fall because she stopped being in constant movement from the itching. But we're working it off, slowly but surely. For me and her, it's healthier to live in a city because we can walk right outside the door and everything is so closeby. Where we used to live, it was always humid, so either hot and muggy or cold and damp, and we had to drive to any place to walk.

I'm curious about the paddleboarding, too - with fibromyalgia (although with minimal symptoms at this time), I have to be a little careful about core challenging exercise.

Son and I had a great day today, walked about half of the art fair with my friend who visited and then had lunch on a terrace overlooking a lake. He and I will go back tomorrow morning to see the rest. I chatted with some artists and saw some really original art!

I also saw a nurse practitioner this morning to get a refill for a medication. This was my first visit to the medical center/urgent care (5 minutes away!) and they were so incredibly nice and efficient. She recommended the GP that she thought would be the best fit for me and we got some paperwork and other things taken care of.

It's been a productive week. I've taken care of a lot of personal business - getting many things transferred to this state and preparing to get my things moved up here. H can't understand why I want my stuff before I have a place of my own. I answered that I can understand that since he's in our home and has everything he wants, it's probably hard for him to imagine what it's like to live in a guest room and not have many of one's possessions there.

For me, I also think it's a step in moving on. As long as my things were still there, it was like I had a foothold there. I need to cut the ties.