A door opening...

[Vanilla]

Sotto

I will include your friend in my votive.

Hugs

V

[job]

Sotto,
I will keep your friend in my thoughts and prayers.

[Sotto]

Hi all, thanks for your thoughts on closure. I think it is absolutely the case that I have to do this for myself. I know from previous convos with XH, he just says things that I find ridiculous and that wouldn't help me at all. Perhaps this is it and there will just be no contact at all again. I can live with that for sure. I guess the thing I don't like is to have an unhealed rift in a relationship that was previously so important to me. But I don't see any options for healing together, so I'm in it alone for that.

Thanks for your good wishes about my friend. I will check in with her tomorrow and see how she's doing. I'm going to ask if she needs any practical help around the time of her op too. I'm not sure if XH is aware of her diagnosis, but last I heard he hadn't been keeping in touch with her at all. I can recall us talking about him and her just saying something like - he's not the man I thought he was. I think she feels pretty let down by him.

As for me, I've been busy with some nice social plans. Dinner & cabaret plus afternoon tea at the weekend and salsa last night. Tomorrow is yoga followed by champagne and nibbles. I feel I have a number of nice groups of people now - salsa group, divorce, ladies social group and so on - it's nice and regular invites seem to flow in.

I've provisionally booked removals for a couple of weeks time, but I suspect the dates aren't going to work out and I'll need to put them back. It would be good to move in July if possible and it sounds like the tenant in the house I'm buying will leave earlier than expected. I'm looking forward to being in and sorted. I decided to invest in removals and just have a comfortable move. It was such an ordeal getting stuff into my flat, which is on the second floor and no lift.

As for nice guy at work. I've texted him a couple of times using work phones - just to wish him well with his move and hope he's settling in. He responds - but doesn't really initiate beyond that. In person, he seems pretty interested - but I got a little wobbly about the limited text responses and I've backed off a little. He may not be that interested, or a little scared, or wary of us working together. Who knows, but I've talked myself around from the wobble. It does make me question the wisdom of getting involved with someone as the rejection is pretty tough soon after D and I wonder how well I could handle it. I think you need to be able to handle the rejection when you decide to start dating - because it may happen.

Anyway - that's about it from me. Just looking forward to the marital home being sold and all affairs settled which isn't long away now.

Thanks for reading and take care all xx

[rd500]

Hi Sotto. Generally sounding good , NG may be caught up in his own world right now or maybe not. Slow and steady and let him make the running now you've shown him some attention

The rejection thing I get and agree with especially right now after your recent D You have time on your side so be comfortable with any choice you make. Risks can be taken once your in a more secure place emotionally

Just my pennies worth

Take care. Rd xx

[Rouky]

Hi Sotto, once you are in your own house you'll be so pleased. Good on you to use a removal company! I tried to do it myself and was so relieved when I used a company.
For NG I'll agree with RD, you have shown him an interest, so let him do the chasing and he might be focused on his move!
You sound in such a good place. I do admire your journey and your strength xx

[Vanilla]

Sotto

A secret message to you

Have fun

V

[Sotto]

Thanks RD, Rouky and V - funny, I had a wobble and just quietly backed right off - and he surged right forward...go figure. I'll just keep moving forward and see what unfolds.

Been really busy at work, but I'm off today. Going to look after my lovely Mum this morning to give Dad a break, then out for dinner with a friend tonight & bookstore volunteering tomorrow. House move seems to be in the final stages on legal checks, so I have a document to unearth today.

I've volunteered for a sporting activity in a work tournament next week. I'm a little panicked as it involves running....something I don't do! I'm doing some little jogs this week to get myself in practice.

Other than that, all is well with me & thanks for reading xx

[Sotto]

Well, this weekend (not sure of the exact date) marks the two year anniversary of BD. There had been a BD1 a few months earlier, but this was the big one. In truth, whilst I knew it was here, I haven't thought of it much and have had a nice weekend. Last night, I took my Dad on our annual pilgrimage to an opera festival and today I have been doing some clearing out and sorting ready for my move.

I have come a long way in two years - moved out, rented a flat, got a new job, took up many new activities, made new friends, divorced, resolved our finances, stayed in touch with my stepson, learned a lot, grew and did some healing. In a way, it has been the best (and the worst) two years ever.

I'm looking forward to being settled in my new place now and just keeping everything crossed that things run smoothly. Minimal contact with XH and all business. Sent a little (non-work) message to NG about something this week and he texted back to say his day just got a lot better hearing from me Just taking things steady there really - but it's enjoyable to feel someone may like you - particularly having spent (a lot - probably far too much) time grieving for an XH who is all into someone else!!

I also went out with a divorce group friend last week - she and I had a nice dinner and a chat. This week is salsa, rounders, yoga and ladies social group - my next night in after tonight is Friday I think.

Not much else to report, but life is pretty good and getting better all the time for me - hope everyone else had a good weekend. Xx

[Zephyr]

2 years is a long time. you have really grown in that time. I see it in your posts on your sit as well as your responses to others!

here is to a little piece of mind as you continue to settle into your place,

[Sotto]

Zephyr, thanks for stopping by and for your kind feedback. I think you are a lovely presence on the forum - kind and constant.

Wow, I'm feeling a little tired and overwhelmed today. I cried and I haven't done that for a while. The marital home sale completes (hopefully) next week and XH had a team go in and clear remaining stuff once we (and HXW!) had taken what we wanted. It is empty now.

I'm feeling quite raw really - it truly is the end of the end. Last threads pulling apart. Just the joint account to be closed down and there are no remaining ties.Weirdly I find that a bit harder even than the D being finalised. It's odd, I don't actually hope for reconciliation and don't feel it would be possible - but there is still the rawness of the closure I guess.

It's been a bit of a stressful week and I feel the beginnings of a sore throat (my classic stress symptom.) Various property hassles and I've been out every night (over-GALing really.) I almost cancelled my evening tonight, but then told a couple of friends I'd meet up with them for an hour. They are having a bigger night out, but in truth I don't need that.

Removals are now booked for the 28th and it looks as though there will be a gap before I get the house and I'll stay with my parents. It may only be for a week, and I'm working on the positives of having keys before I move in. I may paint a room even!

So that's me - in a bit of a raw state and over-committed/rather stressed - but basically okay. NG and me have texted a little this week and that feels like a bright spot. Plus my friend had her cancer op today, so I could be in a worse place and must always remember that.

Take care all and thanks for reading. Xx