I can understand your anger of course. The big thing to remember is you don't get to choose what she is doing. However (crucially) you do get to choose how you respond. And you (and she) will live the paths that you choose.
They say that the best revenge is a life lived well and that's what I would strive for. If you do anything right now, make a choice about how your living arrangements are going to work, given what has happened.
If you want to pack up all of her stuff and put it in the spare room or garage or whatever, that's fine and make sure you are on a reasonable legal footing. But always try to act from a protective (rather than vengeful) motivation.
Believe you me, she is making some poor choices and I think carnage ultimately unfolds from those, whatever you may do. Best to remove yourself from that drama I would say.
T 13 M 7 Me 48 H 46 SS 15 BD 7.14 PA D final 5.16 (H filed)
We receive & we lose, and must try to achieve gratitude & embrace with whole hearts whatever of life that remains after the losses - Dubus
Keep strong Tofbrks. Sounds like both of us are in similar situations. No doubts we can grind through them and get to the other side.
Well the proof of the A , seals the deal for me. Have meeting with lawyer tomorrow to evaluate my new found info. Unfortunately the Mac/ iMessage hasn't provided any more info. I am however enjoying somewhat quiet week with W a the beach.. Do miss the D's but get a FaceTime every night.
Me:47 XW 43 D15 D10 Together 17 married 15 Bd : Mother's Day 2015 Sep :July 2015 Divorce final October 2016
yep, technology appears to be both a blessing and a curse. Very sorry to hear about the details around the proof. I'm thinking I'm at a point where I need to see a lawyer as well to make sure I'm protected in all this. Keep us posted on how it goes tomorrow and keep chugging bud
Me39 M11 : T13 D9 BD 5/31/16 In House S until 6/21/17 Divorced 10/5/18
Well met with lawyer yesterday morning and went over a few issues. My W had given me a separation agreement she found on web and filled in things to make it ours. Lawyer read over it and made several changes. But the it got real , holidays , birthdays , pick up times.. Ect.. Coming to the realization that this will be the new norm f'n blows ... So mad this is being forced on me.butvtrying to accept my new reality. W did not ask for any support for herself, so L said If she signed that was gone for good. As far as my info that I obtained over the weekend - L now has this , said that also would nix support if it where going to court.
Here is where I am now I want her out asap... Can't have W living in our house after learning about feelings and actions for om She has nowhere to go... and house kids This will stir things up and it shouldn't bother me - not my circus but it does where will kids be ? Safe? Some stupid part of me still holds out hope but it is small and getting smaller Then I go back a read the txt's (my new info) and it brings me back to reality Since D 13 dated the om's son and potentially my W could move in there how would my D ever feel comfortable ? Sometimes I can't see the weirdness of that total sitch and how things will be looked upon once it gets out ...don't think W has given it a thought either.. The om is a drinker ... Are my kids safe ? She wanted this nesting agreement where we rotated in and out of our house leaving kids in , I don't think I can stomach that for the year that she wants ... Heck don't think I can do that for more than s month with new info. I was willing to compromise when it appeared that this S was organic but it appears it is of her doing. To me that changes things.
Me:47 XW 43 D15 D10 Together 17 married 15 Bd : Mother's Day 2015 Sep :July 2015 Divorce final October 2016
You could ask her to leave and see what happens, but probably the best advice is to see a lawyer before you do anything.
I have doodler , the only problem is she has no where to go that she can take kids as far as I know other than om house. Which would expose A rumors and tarnish her rep . I know I shouldn't worry about her it's the D's that I worry about. The lawyer prepared agreement will take at least a week then she'll have to review it sing it ect... I could ask her to leave as start of our sep. but don't know if she'll go... This has been s problem for me ... Not wanting to upset the apple cart and keep everyone happy.. The L asked ... Well what do you want to happen? ... I said I want her out NOW
Me:47 XW 43 D15 D10 Together 17 married 15 Bd : Mother's Day 2015 Sep :July 2015 Divorce final October 2016
Can you keep your daughters 100% of the time prior to the divorce?
No way she'll agree to that ... She's ww not waw ... But I think the only reason she wants kids as she feels guilty and it makes her look like a sh:tty parent of she doesn't... All about her image and what people think rather than what's right and sound for kids welfare.
Me:47 XW 43 D15 D10 Together 17 married 15 Bd : Mother's Day 2015 Sep :July 2015 Divorce final October 2016
