All of the talk about ICs has made me crave a banana Icee. I'm going to have to sneak out and get an Icee. I'll probably get caught. If I'm caught sneaking off to get an Icee, then they'll make me get Icees for everyone in the office.
Do you guys even consider that the stuff you post on this forum could cost others time, money and frustration? You should be more considerate. Maybe that's something to work on with your IC.
All of the talk about ICs has made me crave a banana Icee. I'm going to have to sneak out and get an Icee. I'll probably get caught. If I'm caught sneaking off to get an Icee, then they'll make me get Icees for everyone in the office.
Do you guys even consider that the stuff you post on this forum could cost others time, money and frustration? You should be more considerate. Maybe that's something to work on with your IC.
LMAO...I am so slow. I kept wondering how in the world does banana Icees come into this. I even started wanting a banana Icee. Do they even make banana Icees? It sounds good either way.
Thanks for the laugh doodler.
M 55 W 52 MR 32 T 34+ D29 BD May 8, 2016 - She moved out ILYBNILWY May 15 (Through email) No EA/PA August 23 - DB used against me in every way Divorce July 18, 2017 - Life is getting better every day
"We teach others how to treat us" "The best predictor of future behavior is... past behavior"
Being off work, sick, and completely out of my ADHD medication, I'm going a little crazy today. Quite a bit more emotional than my normal self, but not necessarily looking at it as a bad thing. I've been doing some writing in and out of my nyquil comas, that have come with some hard realizations. Not bad, but psychologically and emotionally unexpected.
I'm stuck in a loop of quote 1, and quote 2, and then back again. I realize I have a long road ahead of me. I realize the R with my W has been wrong for a long time, and I'm greatly responsible for the way it was shaped into what it is now. My IC struck a real nerve that I'd isolated and cut off for some time now. Self-Discovery, the new path, the future of now... I see very little of what I want, in any part of what I had... Maybe my lenses are foggy, but that's how I feel right now.
And guys, I am stuck in bed, can someone please bring me a Banana Icee?
I see, you've been to IC and now you want an Icee. I'd get one for you, but the only place that sells them around here is a certain biker bar and you don't want anything from that place including the food and drink.
The IC struck a nerve, huh? They like to do that. My IC drops these little hints that I start thinking about after the session is over. Then it hits me, "Aw sh*t, I'm being a wuss - again!" She's wonderful.
One more thing, I forgot to say that I hope you start feeling better soon. It sounds like you have a cold. If so, then this little poem thingy really helps with a cold...
When you're dancing with your honey And your nose is kinda runny And you think it's kinda funny Well, it's snot
Thanks doodler, I can always count on you for a good pick me up. I see that my IC cannot provide me Icees... That is unfortunate... Maybe a business venture for the future.
I think I'd said she struck a nerve, but I now think she has only revealed a true sadness that'd been hidden away. Am I being a wuss? I don't know. It's probably a good thing to feel something now and again as a part of this process. It's just strange that feelings of hope, have transformed into other, more definitive feelings.
On another note, W text me today and said she's going to retract/withdraw her requests for maintenance, and all other orders her lawyer has sent, and wishes that I will do the same. I'm unsure how I feel about this, I like having my lawyer as a buffer, and don't really plan on getting rid of her until this is over. I think she knows that if maintenance was filed, this would then become a p1ssing contest between the two L's, and while I have income to continue paying mine, she knows she does not have that luxury and $1500 runs out fast when L's a battling back and forth...
One a good note, she finally closed the joint checking account and opened her own. And asked if we could setup a meeting this weekend to go over some things: 1) she needs help financially, 2) splitting things for the divorce. I told her she just needs to let me know what she wants, and I'll make a decision on it, but we can meet if she'd like to. ---
I'm feeling much better in health, but I've been sleeping a lot, and not eating or keeping any liquids down, so I'm a little lightheaded, dizzy, and sleep schedule is trashed. I'm going to try to make it to work tomorrow and get things back on track, ...or maybe, I'll take another long weekend. who knows. I'm lying in bed watching Penny Dreadful right now. Still waiting for one of you to bring me that Banana Icee. See you soon!
I think I'd said she struck a nerve, but I now think she has only revealed a true sadness that'd been hidden away. Am I being a wuss? I don't know. It's probably a good thing to feel something now and again as a part of this process. It's just strange that feelings of hope, have transformed into other, more definitive feelings.
betterm,
Just to clarify, when I mentioned the "wuss" thing it was in reference to my nice guy tendencies rather than feelings of sadness. I don't think that being sad about the situation is a "wuss" response. I think being sad about all that's happened is a very normal response and reinforces the fact that you're a good guy.
I hope you are feeling better today. I'd bring you a banana Icee, but it'd probably be all gone before I could ever get it to you.
I'm feeling much better today. No more stomach problems (yet), and I'm really just dealing with replenishing my body with what it needs to function normally. Hydration and Nutrients have been much deprived in the past few days (no one ever brought me my Icee, thanks)... I'm back in the office for the first time in days, though I probably won't stay long... just trying to get back into some kind of "normal" routine. - I don't have much focus at the moment, I tried listening to an audiobook on the way into the office, and can't remember anything at all except "desire and ignorance lie at the root of all suffering"... It's not much, but if there was anything to remember, I think that's a good point to focus on!
I'm writing off myself as "bitter" right now. I don't know what's going on. I don't know if now that my outlook on the R has changed so drastically, I've gone apathetic... I just keep picturing my IC's face, her eyes, when she responded to me as I answered a few questions for her... "I'm sorry".
It's like, she knew she'd found a way to see what I'd been blinded by for so long... the real eye-opener for me... and that saying of "truth hurts," can't be argued against when it's self-realized.
I thought getting back to the office today would help take my mind off this loop I'm stuck in. It's not... I feel like I've reached, yet another phase of grieving. I'm not happy, I'm not suffering, I'm not in pain, I'm just feeling what is real. Yet, feels so surreal.
