Upping GAL and taking cooking classes. Kid has sort of lost faith in my culinary skills and has on occasions hinted, rather subtly for such a young kid, that she has cravings for takeaways.
Am thinking of joining more exercise classes so that I will have some human company and will feel obliged to haul my ass off the couch.
Work is meh but still manageable. Colleagues and friends are not. I don't know if it's the weather that's making everyone ultra testy and sensitive?
Case in point 1: A retired colleague who's on part time work schedule tried to ask me about something. We have always had cordial relations but it was a bad day and he caught me twice at very bad times. Once I was on my way to grab a quick 15 min lunch before my next meeting and the second time when I was trying to rush an important letter before another meeting. I might have been rather curt because I was on the verge of a panic attack and I had the feeling that he was going to ask me about something non-work related.
So, said colleague is offended and although I am annoyed at how petty things can get, I have decided to be the bigger person and seek him out to explain my predicament when he approached me. I don't have to apologise but I guess I should explain my behaviour.
One of my close friends sort of snubbed me on social media when she tagged everyone in a post but me. She had asked for a favour but because it was a crazy day today and I'd worked non- stop except for 45 min lunch and pee break, I couldn't oblige her. I did offer to help her though when I got through my day.
It annoys the hell out of me cuz I have always had her back and helped her make peace with our group of friends recently. She was angry with us as she thought we were ignoring her when we were really just all very busy. But I have decided to just ignore this latest snub cuz she's been a dear friend for a long time.
And maybe because my mindreading skills are rusty.
So I am pouting a little. I will do what I can to soothe everyone's egos because I do value their friendships and then I willmove on with life and not dwell on things.
You can call me Dory/ Grl.
As a wise fish once sang,"Just keep swimming!"
It's no use to go back to yesterday because I was a different person then.
I'm sorry you are having such a difficult time with your coworkers and friends.
However, valuing your friendships doesn't mean you need to soothe everyone's ego's. You can validate, but talk it out. or you can let it go, without doing the ego soothing.
You are a people pleaser, I see:) I know a lot about that.
You worry that if someone has a negative reaction, it's probably because of you and not them. Sometimes it is us, and we own up to it and apologize. But we can't take on everyone elses emotions and issues. Sometimes others have a bad day, and don't treat us right.
Grl, just dropping by with a hug. Ginger is right, you don't have to soothe everyone's egos. But I am a believer in addressing things. For instance, I'd probably tell the retired colleague, "Sorry I snapped at you yesterday, I was stressed about meeting a deadline" and then let it go. If that soothes his ego, great. If not, then that's on him. That's you taking responsibility for your own stuff, but not feeling responsible for his.
Hi Ginger, You're spot on about me being a people pleaser. I hate to see people upset but I realise that I really have to draw boundaries. I bend backwards so much that it's no wonder I like yoga.
Yes, I don't have to soothe colleague's ego but like what Sunny suggested, I probably would have to explain to him why I was rather testy.
As for the good friend, I will just let her be. She has a fiery temper but a good heart. Best to just leave her alone as she's going through some stuff too.
You can call me Dory/ Grl.
As a wise fish once sang,"Just keep swimming!"
It's no use to go back to yesterday because I was a different person then.
I really have to put up a big sign of 'Not my circus, not my monkeys' at my work desk. Maybe I could find the polish translation, so that I wouldn't appear like I am being anti-establishment or something.
I need to knock some sense into that skull of mine.
You can call me Dory/ Grl.
As a wise fish once sang,"Just keep swimming!"
It's no use to go back to yesterday because I was a different person then.
My car, cross my fingers and thank God, is in good condition and has lasted longer than my M. It will probably last a good 10 more years. Oh well.
Bittersweet because the x and I collected the car together. In fact, he went with me and my family to test drive the car. Imagine if you will, 3 adults squashed in the back of a tiny little car, filling up the rear-view mirror, impeding the visibility of a nervous new driver. The x took the seat of honour, and perhaps danger, next to me.
We got this car in my favourite colour. I went for the auto version as I stalled in the middle of the test drive with the manual car.
Life couldn't be better. A car that I loved and a guy who (at that time) loved me.
The x took time off from work to collect the car with me. We went to the wrong location and managed to rush down to the correct location in time before the dealer closed for the door. The x was a little annoyed and impatient, and perhaps these were the telltale signs of his anger issues that I had missed. We took cabs as the x was to guide me when I drove the new car.
Overall, still a sweet memory. This makes me feel a little fonder towards the x. He really was quite sweet before the multiple kidnaps by the body invaders and the TPT (turd party tramp). And don't stone me, but he also used to carry my purses when they got too heavy, even though his back hurts from his med condition.
So on account of all these, I have decided to hate him a little less. No such concession for TPT. I don't owe her any gratitude or memories. Am still wishing that she's in the express lane for karma checkout but am no longer holding my breath for it.
You can call me Dory/ Grl.
As a wise fish once sang,"Just keep swimming!"
It's no use to go back to yesterday because I was a different person then.
I have a close friend that is getting married. Obviously things are great in her relationship right now. But she said to me she is aware that her husband has the potential to walk out just like mine did. (And yes there are a few indications in their early relationship that would give one pause). She made the comment that
"People change"
Do you believe this to be true, or do you think that with some personalitities it's inevitable and maybe just hidden in beginning for whatever reasons.
Jjb, That is a really good question. In my case, on hindsight, there were a lot of telltale signs that I didn't really look into. His anger issues, his family dynamics, the fact that he wanted to have an open relationship early in our R (I totally put my foot down on this). So many other signs that didn't bode well for our M.
I married him not thinking that I could change him or that he would change. I married him because of that blind stupid cupid and because I thought that I would accept him as is, since he seemed to have accepted me warts and all.
Noble intentions (at least on my side) but what a disaster in the executions of intent.
Jjb, I wish your friend will know that people change, but not always for the better, especially when placed in new and stressful situations such as married life.
She should listen to her gut and deal with what is bothering her. Possible to talk to her fiancé about it?
You can call me Dory/ Grl.
As a wise fish once sang,"Just keep swimming!"
It's no use to go back to yesterday because I was a different person then.
Just to clarify...my friend has been around the block. She made that comment knowing that there is a good chance that while her fiancé is super nice and everything is wonderful now, there is a good chance that he can walk away when things get tough as well.
People change and I guess you are seeing them at their best during the early years.
im gonna talk about it on my new post. I am considering the title "being a chair in a different mans room"... Still trying to wrap my head around that one. I'm not deep enough though. Was it because she felt objectified and like nothing more then furniture??? But why another mans room? Ok. I'm over that.
Wow. Sounds like your friend is prepared for whatever risks she's going to face.
Lol about the chair in another man's room. I guess after the betrayal, the only way the woman could feel safe is to be a piece of nondescript furniture in a new man's room? No baggage, no expectations. Just a place to be and exist.
Jjb, you not deep enough? Hello, lady!
Me, I am another story altogether. I have so many holes in my brains that my friends have to resist the urge to smack me out of it.
You can call me Dory/ Grl.
As a wise fish once sang,"Just keep swimming!"
It's no use to go back to yesterday because I was a different person then.
