So yesterday might of been an interesting time to come here again... Last night around 9pm, W started spewing MR talk all over my phone, talking about coming home, telling me she's crying, etc... and then saying "I should stop texting this stuff, I don't want what I'm saying to come back to bite me in the ass."
I'm not sure what I was thinking, I probably wasn't at all, but I don't regret my response to her... so, in response, I told my W "if you came over, and you didn't pull it together, I am going to take that bite out of your ass so viciously that it will leave tooth marks and an imprint of my face on there for the rest of her life, good luck getting your new man to be okay with that!"
She only responded one thing... "...I wish you would"
I was CRACKING UP! If nothing else, it reminded me of the fun we used to be able to have with one another. I didn't think anything of it, and still don't other than she was having an emotional night. I told her I wasn't going to "be friends", but I think I was doing that out of selfishness thinking "if i take away my friendship, she'll want to not get divorced"... I'm sure a lot of people reading this are confused, but I really don't care to stop the divorce anymore. I'm all for it. I'm having fun again in life. I'm finding my edge that I lost, My wild dark nature. and honestly, I don't want to lose that ever again. I don't want to make the mistake of reconciling too soon, or at all, if it means I have to destroy my best qualities to do so.
So anyways, if any of you happen to find tooth marks and a face imprinted on some bare cheeks on a night you're "getting lucky", just remember, that's betterm's EX!
just to clarify before I get bashed for my actions... I'm not "following rules" anymore. I'm not worried about "doing everything right". I'm just living my life the way I want.
doodler/paclove (and others), I'll shoot some responses your way shortly. I'm about to head into a meeting.
"if you came over, and you didn't pull it together, I am going to take that bite out of your ass so viciously that it will leave tooth marks and an imprint of my face on there for the rest of her life, good luck getting your new man to be okay with that!"
betterm,
That's awesome! But beware, I'm not letting you anywhere near my ass, not even if we're at The Blue Oyster.
You are doing so well, I really admire your strength through this difficult time. You have such a great attitude, and you've put so much work into GAL and it's paying off in so many ways. I'm really happy for you - it sounds like your W is reconsidering everything - but you don't even care at this point, and you know that you will be happy either way. Great work.
Me-45, W-37, T-10 yrs, M-9 yrs D -7 yrs, S-5 yrs BD-5/3/16, D filed 6/8/16
So yesterday might of been an interesting time to come here again... Last night around 9pm, W started spewing MR talk all over my phone, talking about coming home, telling me she's crying, etc... and then saying "I should stop texting this stuff, I don't want what I'm saying to come back to bite me in the ass."
I'm not sure what I was thinking, I probably wasn't at all, but I don't regret my response to her... so, in response, I told my W "if you come over here, and you don't get your [censored] together, I am going to take that bite out of your ass so viciously that it will leave tooth mark indentions and an imprint of my face on there for the rest of your life, good luck getting your new man to be okay with that!"
She only responded one thing... "...I wish you would"
I was CRACKING UP! If nothing else, it reminded me of the fun we used to be able to have with one another. I didn't think anything of it, and still don't other than she was having an emotional night. I told her I wasn't going to "be friends", but I think I was doing that out of selfishness thinking "if i take away my friendship, she'll want to not get divorced"... I'm sure a lot of people reading this are confused, but I really don't care to stop the divorce anymore. I'm all for it. I'm having fun again in life. I'm finding my edge that I lost, My wild dark nature. and honestly, I don't want to lose that ever again. I don't want to make the mistake of reconciling too soon, or at all, if it means I have to destroy my best qualities to do so.
So anyways, if any of you happen to find tooth marks and a face imprinted on some bare cheeks on a night you're "getting lucky", just remember, that's betterm's EX!
Originally Posted By: betterm
just to clarify before I get bashed for my actions... I'm not "following rules" anymore. I'm not worried about "doing everything right". I'm just living my life the way I want.
doodler/paclove (and others), I'll shoot some responses your way shortly. I'm about to head into a meeting.
My plans just got cancelled for the night, which is fine with me because tomorrow nights going to be a late one. I think I'll pickup some good beverage for the night, hang out on the patio and enjoy my night alone... in turn, I look forward to catching up with your all's sitches. I enjoyed my hiatus, but I've found my ground...
"...I am going to take that bite out of your ass so viciously that it will leave tooth marks and an imprint of my face on there for the rest of her life, good luck getting your new man to be okay with that!"
Just for the record, I am tucking that one away for use in a future convo with WW.
Me, WW - Upper 30s BD - Apr 1 2016 EA - Apr 7 2016 (discovered; ongoing for months; did not confront right away) Confronted wife about EA - May 17 Wife sent NC email to OM - July 11
It's good to hear from you! It sounds like you're doing really well. When you get an opportunity, please update us about your GAL activities.
I'm glad you found a good IC. A good IC is priceless and a bad one is useless.
I'm all for kicking @ss!
Good to hear from you too. I didn't abandon the forums because of you all, of course. Everyone here as been an incredible help to me. and I thank everyone on here for where I am today. I just needed a break from constantly thinking about M, MR, WAS, and "what to do."
I got so caught up in "what's right" that I couldn't think about anything other than DBing the next move. It was being counter intuitive.
Some of my GAL activities you asked about... Some are self-explanitory, others might not be: -Mountain Bike / Trail Riding -Cruising on my new Motorcycle -Joined local Hackerspace group (yep, I'm geeky hacker type) -Played in a few local chess tourneys, chess meetups, etc. -Music, live concerts, discovering new stuff, and playing the guitar more. -Exercise/Diet, I just finished week 4 of BodyBeast. I've gained almost 7 lbs of muscle since starting the program. -Reconnecting with old friends, college buddies, high school buddies, people around town. close friends that got lost by the business of 'life'. -Dog Training, I have two 180+ lb dogs and they never wanted to behave properly because W would not follow the orders of our trainer away from the training site. I've got them almost to the point where they can be leashless around other people and dogs without any concern at all. -Enjoying my loneliness. This may sound strange, but I enjoy my space, my freedom to be alone and be happy with myself. It's something I lost in my M, as things were always so hectic, the only way I could get "alone time" was to decline something else, which usually led to a fight/argument between me and W. I think this is important, because if you can't find happiness within only yourself, it means you're counting on others things in life to provide 'wholeness' for you. -Meditation. I'm meditating at least 30 minutes a day. usually 20 minutes in the morning, 10 in evening. I'm working my way up in time spent meditating. -Gardening. I built two 4x4 raised cedar garden boxes, growing produce for myself and my family. mostly the basics, but it's enjoyable, and saves a ton of money on the grocery bill. -Reading/Writing. This came about as part of the 'discovery' process for my crumbling marriage, I've shifted the material I'm reading and writing about from the MR, to things that relate more directly with me and my interests. --- I think that's the primary list of GAL I have for myself right now. I'm getting ready to join a martial arts practice, but haven't found anything I like yet that isn't overly expensive and fits my budget. If I think of anything else I've left off, I'll jot it down here for ya. --- Like I said, my IC said I need to slow down. I told her I've never been the "slow down type", but I will try to focus on the most important things to me.
A few things I left off... -I've been spending more time with family. My uncle and I have developed a really strong relationship in the past few months, he went through a D about 15 years ago and has been a good support outlet. -Professional Development. I'm a tech nerd. I realized I had quit most of my tech training and development due to priority shifts with all the "other things" that needed taken care of. I've already studied for, and completed a certification I've been meaning to get for a while now.
In conjunction with these GAL activities... I've also changed a lot of my HABITS. -I'm waking up earlier. between 5 and 530AM. I love the additional time in the morning to reflect and relax. No more rushing out the door. -I'm dressing differently. I started wearing ties and sports jackets to work and around to events. I've already received numerous comments on how I look nowadays. From women, men, and even the CEO of my company stopped by my office just to say something to me about it. -I've taken a much friendlier approach to my coworkers, community, and neighbors. I try to make a point to listen to them, rather than just 'say hi' and move along. It's helped with my progress of "being present" in conversation and really listening/hearing what people say.
TOTAL AWESOMENESS!!! You have been kicking ass. I thought I was getting a lot done, but you're hitting it out of the park. Good for you!
And then, to top it off, you mentioned cedar garden boxes. I love cedar; it's easy to work with and it's beautiful. To finish cedar I just apply several layers of tung oil and I'm done.
Keep it up; I'm thrilled you're doing so well.
You go GAL! Wait, I meant, you go guy and GAL! No, maybe it's go GAL guy! That still isn't right. Oh well, you know what I mean.
