The cycle of guys letting me go when I express a need, go to the next woman right away or beforehand and stay long term with them, and give them what I needed. Seriously coincidental, but nonetheless, crazy making.
God, yes, that must hurt, but you know this is all on them right, and has absolutely nothing to do with you, right?
Plus who knows if exNG actually IS in this relationship for the long run or not. Remains to be seen. I seriously think you need to tell your mutual friend that you don't want to hear any more NG stories. He would be devastated if he knew how much it hurts you. And by the way, if he knew hearing about exNG is causing you pain, he will tell exNG to stay far far away next weekend and you can relax and have a good time!
I can handle seeing him, and everyone is friends, so I am fine, I don't want anyone left out. One big reason why I don't want to know anymore is because I want to be able to see him and her together at mutual events with minimal feelings. But when you know so much, it makes it so much harder. I know said friend has no clue how I really feel because I try to act like I'm over everything.
you're a better woman than I am Ginger, that's for sure. And really kind to say you are fine with exNG coming to the party because everyone is friends and you don't want anyone being left out.
However if not hearing all these updates on exNG's life will help you to be able to see them with minimal feelings, please please ask mutual friend to STOP updating you already. Stop feeling like you need to be strong for everyone else, and do what is best for Ginger for a change. Just sayin.......
Linda
Me 65, Ex 64 M 38 y 2 adult S, 4 G-Kids MLC 11/07 BD 12/09 D 3/14 Dating nice guy 7/14 Engaged to nice guy 12/17
So, friend called me today to let me know exNG was coming to a different party at the end of the summer with his GF. He wanted to give me the heads up. I broke down in tears to poor friend about how I'll be fine with it, but I've been having such a hard time dealing with everything and I just can't hear another thing about him. And of course he totally understood. Before I told him that he did say everyone wishes we would get back together. But I said everyone on earth can wish that, but he doesn't so it's a null point. But friend knows I'm heart broken and I said please, if he asks about me , just tell him I'm doing great and leave it at that.
Then I really thought about it. This is where what doing best for ginger comes in: this party is the party we met at a year ago. It would have been our one year. I honestly don't think I am strong enough to see them there together as a couple on that occasion. I sorely don't wan to miss out on this party. But it might be the right move for me, I don't know. It's a large party, last year we were introduced in the first 5 min, got shy, ran away from each other and didn't see each other again until most people were gone. I know I've got friends who will make sure I'm fine.
So instead of getting anxiety over it, I'm going to promise myself to not make any decisions until the time gets closer. We will see. I'd like to say I'm a strong badass, who doesn't care, but in this situation right now, it isn't true.
it if I do go, I will do what any normal woman would in this situation: make sure I look hot as helllllll
G been holding back on chaiming in cause I suck at,expressing my self in writing (wright Cadet). First of any guy would be lucky to have you. Sadly you don't see it that way.I'm not sure what you think you need to have or be to be loved that you don't already have. I think you have the full package. I would start by looking at your strengths and ignoring what you think are imperfections. We are all fallible.
I really liked him too and wished it would work out for you both.
I'm devating going this year since we are are going to hang in September.
Having your heart broken again [censored]. I am so sorry.. he really doesn't know what a gem he had.
M 53 D 20 Separated 6/22/11 moved out 10/24 Together 26 yrs Married 16 W Filed for D 7/21/11 Served 9/6/11 D final 8/28/12
“Failure is not fatal, but failure to change might be.”
G been holding back on chaiming in cause I suck at,expressing my self in writing (wright Cadet). First of any guy would be lucky to have you. Sadly you don't see it that way.I'm not sure what you think you need to have or be to be loved that you don't already have. I think you have the full package. I would start by looking at your strengths and ignoring what you think are imperfections. We are all fallible.
I really liked him too and wished it would work out for you both.
I'm devating going this year since we are are going to hang in September.
Having your heart broken again [censored]. I am so sorry.. he really doesn't know what a gem he had.
I just want to start by saying you expressed yourself very well in writing right here:) And thank you so much.
For a while, I got to a place to feel that a guy may actually be lucky to have me. I do have a lot to offer, I am not perfect, I definitely have my faults, but I'm loving, loyal, fun, and driven. I am unfortunately letting the constant rejection make me think there must be SOMETHING unlovable.
I think one of the hardest things about this breakup is that he never did want to change me. He said up until the end, there is nothing I don't like about you. I am perfect to him. I am the best R he ever had (said this while dating his GF). But he chose to let me go because he didn't want to drive or have anyone move in for the next few years. None of it made sense to me, makes me absolutely nuts, so I am better off not knowing anything, the good, or the bad. Because I am spinning all over in my head trying to make sense out of this.
And yeah, there is a strong belief that this is MLC crap, and I will never make any sense out of that.
I keep hearing about this trip in September......but I was not included on the invite...... (lol, I couldn't go anyways)
So this party is the chance to see everyone. And if Id on't get to see you Rick, we need a day I could come down and hang out.
I wish there was a heartbreak pill. I've got a bad case of it.
Ok, enough. Day 1 of healing again. no more mention of him and what happened. I'm done. he needs to go buh bye.
I had one of those really real dreams last night. I dreamt one of the Hospice nurses I used to work with called me in t help with a case. And the son of the patient was there and it was love at first sight for us. His dying mother said "you are were called here out of no where for a reason" We had the best R, he even had a face and I felt that happiness again, even in my sleep. I did not want to wake up!
I did once go pronounce a patient in a home and the patients daughter literally tried to hook me up with her son over her mother's dead, not even cold body. And he was a cute lawyer. But there really is just a time and place for these things, and that wasn't it.
I love having dreams where I feel happy for having it. Have you considered that it was not a dream but someone dear to you (maybe your mom?) communicating with you? I've learned over the past 20 years that my dreams occurring between 3-6 am are when my spirit/angels/loved ones that have died talk to me. And I *always* feel better when that happens. I feel connected and grounded again.
Go back to the message and dig a little deeper for something that might need to be heard.
Hugs and love!
Betsey
"There are only 2 ways to live your life. One is as though nothing is a miracle. The other is as though everything is a miracle."
