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KyleR Offline OP
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Great time spent with my family today having a BBQ and unwinding, shame my D5 had to go home.

Can I get some experienced opinions on something? I've been very good over the past 3 weeks and have completely backed away from my W, I've only spoken to her when she's contacted me regarding the kids and when I've been in her company I have stopped trying to be overly nice and make idle chit chat.

On to my question (and don't judge me for 3rd part information).....Last night my W was out with mutual friends and they've told me she was really off, she was being very quiet and went home early. Before she went home she confided in a friend saying "I know he's probably talking to other women and getting comfort from them etc" (for the record I have no history of ever doing anything like this).

Should I not look too much into this or is it a sign that detaching from her is working.

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Kyle, don't look too much into it, it will distract you from focusing you. Your W is going through feelings and they change, she is having tough times just like you are. If she thinks your seeing other woman who are supporting you, then she's probably noticing that your not clinging and sad all the time, the good thing about this is that your not. You are doing you, you are making your happiness your own, and it doesn't matter what your W thinks or does.

I'm glad you had a good day with your D, Happy Father's Day Kyle. Your D is who will benefit from her dad being a better KyleR, nothing else matters.


M - 9 1/2 years
5/5/16 - Bomb drop - 3 week EA
10/31/16 - We sold house
01/10/18 - D Finalized
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Oh, and don't think you need to tell your W your not seeing other woman, it will not help. Woman want what they can't have, so don't go open your mouth. If she wants you back, she won't stop trying because she thought you were seeing others, so don't tell her.


M - 9 1/2 years
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10/31/16 - We sold house
01/10/18 - D Finalized
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Remember when I said it didn't matter that your W said she wanted D?

Well, it doesn't matter that she said this either.

Keep walking down your path.

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KyleR Offline OP
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Cheers guys, just wondering how the good folks on here viewed it.

I'm not going to try and get too hung up on it, just found it curious as its a complete 180 from saying "not being big headed but I know she still loves me" last week.

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KyleR, the good folks on here view it as.......Believe nothing she says and 50% what she does .

Do you really want the advice being provided to you based on DB and our experiences or will you continue bouncing all over the place with every little thing she says,does or what you feel?

Just curious as you don't seem to be paying attention to what you are being provided.

Again, my friend what path will you choose?
The path of cheeseless tunnels?
Or the path of becoming the person only a fool would leave?


Me 46 Former W 46
D19 D7
BD Feb 2016
WAW moves out 4/16/16
D final 6/1/2017

It's time for me to start changin' the way I look at the world......and at myself. ~James Howlett aka Wolverine
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Hi Kyler , anything I share from my story is to maybe help you understand time frames and to ignore all they say , my WW told me 3 weeks ago that I have been seeing someone for 5 months and they are much younger than me and very. Dry attractive , I answered that if I was ( didn't deny or confirm ) I'm sure she would be delighted for me. She started crying. This is after she's gone 18+ months

My point , it doesn't matter what they say , it's what they do and even then be wary

Your looking for hope and we all understand but while your doing that you are not detaching This morning I got a text from WW , ' Happy Father's Day to a great dad x '. You know what I took from that Kyler ? Nothing. I texted back , ' thank you ' and went on with my day

It COULD have meant loads of it could of meant nothing , who knows and why waste brain power on it

Please go back and re read all the advice

Take care. Rd

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KyleR Offline OP
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For the record I'm not getting hung up on it I was merely asking for opinions as I'm fairly new to this.

If anything it has validated to me that I need to continue to keep my distance and let my life be a mystery to her.

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KyleR Offline OP
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I'm thinking of speaking to my W and telling her that she/we need to sit down and tell the kids that I'm not going to be coming home.

Everytime I have my D5 she asks me "when are you coming home?" My W has told her that I'm helping nanny with something, it makes me feel terrible lying to her everytime she asks and I think she needs to know the truth.

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Quote:
If anything it has validated to me that I need to continue to keep my distance and let my life be a mystery to her.


Exactly right!


It is not about what you feel should work in your M. It is about doing the work that gets the right results. Do what works!
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