Still here and need support

[PacLove]

Wow that sounds rough... my W has stepped up and is still honoring her responsibility as a M, more so now actually then before when we were together.

I don't agree that Kids are resilient - they will get through this but no doubt will suffer some damage, however I've learned that they can also be a great source of strength for us through this. My D last night was reading her kids bible (on her own, and on a night when W was looking after her) and this morning was citing the 10 commandments to me...

During Easter she asked to pray the ways of the cross with me. God works through them in amazing ways!

Even if you'r not religious - your D7 can be a great strength for you and a source of companionship while your W figures her $#!7 out.

[rich4j]

Poschan

Feel your pain and angst. Your WAW is cousins or sisters with mine with the same things:

-My fault my fault my fault
-rude, abrasive and not caring at all
-demanding $ and ready to battle

There is a cycle of rationalizing that I think WAW/H goes through and after reading Sandi2 stuff, it seems that there is anger and resentment from their side that gets tossed into that salad. "If you were a better husband this never would have happened".

It gets tiring doesn't it? I did a bunch of stuff for my STBX in regards to one of our dogs as she can't and the word thank you wasn't even close to her lips

I think the only way to handle is to continue your DB'ing ......maybe one day she snaps out of it.

[RSG]

I can see this coming up with my son soon. He's 3+ but with a speech delay, so he can't have conversations yet. It's coming though, very quickly. It's scary as hell for me, and all she can say is "tell him Mommy and Daddy love him very much." Sure, one of us just didn't love him enough to give him his family.

My WW's family are enablers. Anything she says is golden. Want to be happy (in the moment)? Sure, go ahead and leave. S will be fine, just be happy. And poof, gone. Without a second thought. It's like they only want to be parents when it's convenient. Their irrationality rules.

I don't know what to tell you other than to show that kid as much love as you can. All the time.

Good luck to you and your D!!!

[poschan]

It's so weird how many of our situations are so similar. Must be some type of pandemic affecting our Ss. Thanks for the feedback it really helps me.
Rich she spewed something very similar to "If you were a better husband this never would have happened" that today. Takes no ownership for her own actions. I need to start GALing hard and fill up my calendar.

[PacLove]

It's so weird how many of our situations are so similar. Must be some type of pandemic affecting our Ss. Thanks for the feedback it really helps me.
Rich she spewed something very similar to "If you were a better husband this never would have happened" that today. Takes no ownership for her own actions. I need to start GALing hard and fill up my calendar.

It's so true... GAL definitely helps. I'm now starting to see the value of it. 9 weeks in and I'm finally starting to sleep, haven't really cried in a while now and have been doing my best to act "aloof" around W. Time does help so does patience and the more you distance yourself the better it is. I haven't snooped since Monday and it's felt great!

[sandi2]

Must be some type of pandemic affecting our Ss

Yes, it's called the nice guy syndrome.

[poschan]

WAW was just here d7 wanted her to see her new bedroom furniture. I stayed out of the way while they walked around with the rearranged stuff. when they were about to leave, I asked for a moment with d7. d7 said she d/n want to go and wanted to be with me which started the tears flowing. I hugged her tightly and told her we will be ok. when I brought her out to the car, WAW gave me the ugliest leer almost seemed liked she was basking in my pain and tears. I just couldn't keep it together but you know what? I don't give a f---. Im human and this is all so new and raw. GAL tomorrow and see d7 again Sunday. GRRRRR

[poschan]

her new nickname is homewrecker

[poschan]

many threats thrown at me today. I just wrote out a page of them. made a few mistakes today getting caught in her traps. on the phone with WAW today i stated how important family was to me and she scoffed and made a disparaging remark about my immediate family. i got defensive and attempted to convince before giving up. mistake noted, move on. i realize now with the aforementioned page that it's time for me to get moving to protect myself. i also made the mistake of telling her I loved her on the phone and she said "i had a funny way of showing it". wow. 2x4. another eyeopener. my friend had previously mentioned the term "soul sucker" and now i think i know what he meant

[sandi2]

on the phone with WAW today i stated how important family was to me and she scoffed and made a disparaging remark about my immediate family

i also made the mistake of telling her I loved her on the phone and she said "i had a funny way of showing it".

Poschan, you broke two of the 37 rules intended to be a guide in directing you what to do and not do. I am not calling you on the carpet about it. You are a grown man! I am just curious as to why you continue doing the very things we have said works against you.

Being a WW, I think I have a pretty good idea how these two statements were seen by your W. my question is, what expectation were you seeking in both statements? And, you did have expectations............so be honest and say what was in your heart.

I don't mean to sound pushy by asking this question, have you read my threads on help for the newcomer LBH with a WW?