I could have typed your post... word for word..... Like many have said before, the WW will not give any legitimate responses at MC, just vague statements and half-truths. Attending MC allows them to justify to everyone that they "tried" to work things out, when we both know it was just part of their plan. Currently, WW is temp checking me with texts (non-emergency) about the kids. I just ignore them all. I'm DONE. Dropped the rope and I'm going to let her move on with her life. I'm not sure when she will come out of her fog but when she does, its not going to be pretty. She thinks she can find happiness out there but we both know its right under her nose but she is too lost to know where to look.
Me 45 W 39 D: 8,6 Married 14 years Start MC: Sept '15 BD: 3/30/16 End MC: 4/21/16 PA confirmed: 6/8/16 W moves to basement: 6/12/16
There is still hope, whether you want to continue with DB is your business. But you are still living together an attending MC, that is pretty huge. I wish I was at that point - and if I was I would be fighting for it.
Me-45, W-37, T-10 yrs, M-9 yrs D -7 yrs, S-5 yrs BD-5/3/16, D filed 6/8/16
Qt- I hate to throw in the towel I know and it's been only 2 mo since BD. They are going away for16 days so maybe that will give space that's needed now. A lot of damage has been done , I would say almost irreparable damage. But now time will tell. She has stuck to the same story for the entire time (short) and the mc caved and folded like a cheap suit.
Me:47 XW 43 D15 D10 Together 17 married 15 Bd : Mother's Day 2015 Sep :July 2015 Divorce final October 2016
Stay strong, man. I know when you're looking at the possibility of an A it's hard to even have any desire to want to work it out. I think you owe it to yourself to really think about it, and maybe the PI will help you in that decision. I know I would also be conflicted if confronted with an A.
Me-45, W-37, T-10 yrs, M-9 yrs D -7 yrs, S-5 yrs BD-5/3/16, D filed 6/8/16
Qt- not even about an affair it's about the families polarity .. Mine highly distrusts w and sees as though I provided a good life which she does not appreciate. Perhaps later down the road we could attempt something... But for now I have to protect me and rebuild...I'm wounded and need to regroup. Looking at gal and maybe a career redirection... Tsp into my creative side that's been dormant since I've become a family man..that in it self is rewarding just need more ...an outlet , a channel to delve into ,...
Me:47 XW 43 D15 D10 Together 17 married 15 Bd : Mother's Day 2015 Sep :July 2015 Divorce final October 2016
Yeah I'm amazed at how fast things are happening in my case - only six weeks, just a little shorter than your timeline. Already my family hates the W and I'm sure her family has branded me as a villain. I just can't believe the damage that's been done, all of which could have been avoided if she'd just been willing to communicate.
Yeah I'm also looking at gal and making some major changes. I don't know what the future holds for me, I definitely want to start focusing on some of my old interests that have taken a backseat since getting married.
Me-45, W-37, T-10 yrs, M-9 yrs D -7 yrs, S-5 yrs BD-5/3/16, D filed 6/8/16
Ok I need true db pro's here . I think I may be back in the db game. I bought the bs of what she was selling at mc. Genuinely thought that she was fine and honest about it .. And about no affairs going on and what not. Basically ruling out her being ww. But that was my assumption not based on any facts or advice from here. She convinced me she was simply out of love and not looking for a new one or checking grass ect. She was juat ready to do what she wanted to do .. So this evening w txt me to request a separation agreement , not a legal separation but some hokey azz thing we wrote them have it notorized. Not a true legal document and my lawyer said carried very little weight.. She advised to go forward with a legal agreement and start the 1yr time frame.
Well wife wants to keep lawyers out of if and keep it between us. This is the same person who has said she's done with marriage so many times I could make s drinking game out of it. So why no progression to legal separation which I turn is a divorce after the 1yr period. Her proposal is to rotate through house 3dayscon 3days out. So what's the angle here? Cake eating? Plan b? Ducks in row? Not ready for divorce? Affair ?
Feel stupid for believing she was even the slightest bit sincere....
Me:47 XW 43 D15 D10 Together 17 married 15 Bd : Mother's Day 2015 Sep :July 2015 Divorce final October 2016
My advice is not to agree to one single thing until you get legal advice where you stand. If she is wanting to bypass lawyers, someone has told her she'll get more her way. Protect yourself, and what's yours.
It is not about what you feel should work in your M. It is about doing the work that gets the right results. Do what works!
Really at a crossroads here... She's pressing for in & out of our home ... What should I do ... Tell her to hit the road or giver her what she wants? She's been nervous all day about something.. Thinks my family is plotting against her. Called 8 times and 5 txt's... That's usually 4 or 5 months worth of calling.
Me:47 XW 43 D15 D10 Together 17 married 15 Bd : Mother's Day 2015 Sep :July 2015 Divorce final October 2016
Tell her you are not going to do anything until you've had time to think it through! Just b/c she's pressing and pushing you, doesn't mean you're suppose to roll over and play dead.
It is not about what you feel should work in your M. It is about doing the work that gets the right results. Do what works!
