Focus on Me and my boys 2

[J5K]

mvgfwd2,

I have contacted the school for records of this and am telling the psychologist.

And yes, if or when I do move to Toronto it will be on my terms so my boys can be closer to their mother. I just need to make sure I feel 100% correct in making that move.

[Rose888]

Clearly, her life with OM is more important than the education of your children. Document. Maybe get records from the school to see if there have been other instances of this. Good evidence for custody hearing.

Be careful, because this can cut both ways.

If the kids are often tardy on the days you drop them off, asking the court to take a closer look at school attendance might backfire.

[J5K]

Journaling:

Yesterday was rough coping with the boys. I was so exhausted from moving and unpacking I went to sleep at 10pm after about a 40 minute struggle to get the boys to sleep. This tends to happen after the exchange with STBX.

Tonight was much better. Daycare workers said that both boys were really well behaved which is surprising because my 4 year old had some issues at the other daycare center and was written up a few times. What I love the most is seeing how the older ones take care of the younger ones, especially S2. Not even sure how I let STBX take him for a period of time during our "reconciliation". S2 lost that time bonding with his brothers. Overall I am very happy with how my day went. Not much GAL but with 5 boys I have a smile on my face when I am with them.

Motion hearing is tomorrow morning to see if judge will allow her to take boys to Toronto for the summer. Should be interesting to say the least.

I felt pretty good today, still wake up suddenly at odd hours of the night after about 4 or 5 hours of sleep but mostly back to my old self before I met STBX.

Please pray for me and the boys, and STBX, I really wish she would wake up from this fog for their sake.

[rich4j]

JimK

Best wishes tomorrow. Totally impressed with your ability to slog thru this with the magic 5 boys!

Stay strong!

[Phoebe]

Hi Jim. I am glad to see how much you have been enjoying your time with your incredible boys.

Wishing you all the best at tomorrow's hearing. I'll be thinking of you and your boys.

(((Jim)))

[SH_]

Jim

You are doing awesome in such a challenging situation. You make me proud to know you as a father. It would be so east to just cut bait and run. So many fathers do these days.

You will be blessed for the struggles you are going through. Keep up the good fight my friend.

And hug the he// out of those boys. It will give you strength, and they will always know their daddy loves them.

[J5K]

Court update:

Judge was done hearing motions at noon. STBX's L shows up at 11:45 am from another court. STBX is stressed and worried that her L would not show even went to the other court room to find her. Ls meet with FOC then we stand in front of judge. STBXs L starts to spew a bunch of things to change parenting plan. My L responds to a few key items.

Judge asks what the psychologist recommends and STBXs L has no answer. So judge wants to hear recommendation from psychologist. Judge also asks friend of the court on their assessment. FOC stated that STBX did not obtain studio apartment per the agreement and said the psych assessment is still ongoing. Discussions about change of domicile came up also as STBXs L mentioned the house being built and more blah blah blah by STBXs L.

In the end judge does not make a decision on the motion and things stay status quo.

The four of us meet out of the court room after and STBXs L asks if I will agree to a different parenting plan. I stay straight faced and say nothing and STBX shakes her head and says I will not agree to anything or change.

Well why should I? She wants out of the M.

My L then asks if STBX will exercise her parenting time today and tomorrow and STBX says she does not have an overnight bag but will take the 2 little ones. My L says no and so I keep the boys for two extra days.

STBX is sad and starts to shed some tears and I walk away all business from here on out.

I will continue to pray that my W comes out of the fog one day.

PS: STBX asked about the little beads in my ears, told her they were from acupuncture. She knows I am trying to quit smoking.

I know STBXs perception is that I am being hurtful. I understand that will not change until she can understand my POV, IF that ever happens.

I hope everyone is having as good of a day as I am!

[doodler]

JimKao,

Awesome and inspirational update! Thank you.

[J5K]

So STBX calls to talk to the boys tonight. Not sure what she said to them. At this point I know she is hurting based on the results of today.

We start talking and I ask her what her plans are for next week. She states that Monday and Tuesday are my days and that we will see what happens for the summer after Ls talk to the psychologist. I said ok, just need to plan accordingly.

She asks me why I am doing this? I stated this is not what I wanted, this is your choice. She says it's all or nothing with you, I am ok with you staying in Michigan. I don't respond.

She asks how long am I going to drag this on? For the next 16 years? I said we will let the process play out based on the psychologists assessment.

She tries to guilt me by saying that people think it is wrong that I am putting the two little ones in day care and that she wants to split the parenting time plan 50/50 for the summer, that the order was only in place for the school year. I did not respond other than the boys are happy and playing on the playscape.

I so wanted to say that I despise her actions of finding an OM and want to minimize any visitation she has with the boys but I did not say anything.

She is making me out to be the bad guy. Unless I give to her requests there is no positive interaction with STBX. I would give everything to her again if she wanted to work on the M but since she doesn't I am going to let the courts dictate the final outcome. I have no choice.

Question:
I sometimes wonder if I am the immature one in this whole scenario since society makes it so easy to D and accept it. I know I am the one holding on and hoping that one day she will want to come back to the M. My L thinks I am crazy if I move up there after the D. Not that I will but I am seriously considering it.

I am now somewhat numb to the fact that she still is seeing OM. She had her sad voice going and was crying at times. Most of the conversation I did not say anything because I don't know what to say anymore.

She wanted me to pursue, she wanted me to move to Toronto, she wanted me to do xyz, I just could not keep up anymore. I was burnt out.

I would love the good things in life too and go out to nice places but geez none of that is worth it just to say I played "dad".

[rich4j]

JimK

Stay strong thru this...she is trying to rope you in. She sounds just like my STBX

Her saying "why I am doing this" is ironic and crazy. I would not have been able to resist putting up the barrier of asking her to not say this anymore as she is the one who is with the OM and did this.