I just don't want to deal with the madness anymore.
1) so if you're at home with your son and W is out doing whatever but going back to an apartment, will you feel differently? You're a parent, so there will be time you're watching him alone. You're only a babysitter if you feel like one.
2) I totally agree on the second part. It sounds like you're rushing to end the pain, the hurt, the sadness, etc. her moving out won't solve that. Only you can.
DDJ, Your not a babysitter, you are Dad, and your getting to spend time with the most important person(s) in your life... You will forever be the rock for your children, and that's the most important thing.
I can't speak to if its better for your WW to be in the home or not, I nvr got to that point (we will see what happens in future) but living in home or somewhere else, your job is going to be the same, great Dad, GAL and detach.
For what it's worth, your young, the age I was when I met my W, and have so much life in front of you.. If you take care of yourself, you will find happiness, whether it's with your current W or someone else. Be strong and you will be happy, you'll look back on the current sitch and be grateful you learned so much from the experience and how it made you a better man.
M - 9 1/2 years 5/5/16 - Bomb drop - 3 week EA 10/31/16 - We sold house 01/10/18 - D Finalized
True, I'm not a babysitter. I'd rather be with my son than anywhere else really. I feel bad GALing sometimes.
Her moving out won't solve anything. Her staying won't solve it either, so the difference will really be my tolerance levels and emotional stability. I don't have to tolerate it when she's not here but it might not help my emotional stability without her here.
That being said. I do want to see how I fair with her out of the house. I want to see if I'm able to thrive. I want to see if I can stand man alone and just be. I want that experience. I need that experience. It does not have to be a D. But I want to be selfish. Focus on me. I will make sure that I see our son everyday to put him to bed.
Would that count as pushing her away, or living a life for myself?
Just cos things are going right, doesn't mean that they were always wrong.
Me31 W31 M11yrs S6yrs 23Mar16-BD 9Apr16-W admitted EA w boss. 27Jun16-W Changed job and promised NC w OM. 14Jul16-Continued contact w OM.Start of Separation. 24May17-Divorced.
I didn't really want my wife to move out even though I actively pushed her out (a 180), but I was surprised that the end result was that I felt a lot of relief and freedom from constantly worrying about upsetting her. The downside is that it upset my sons and I have to split my time with them. But, I think it was the right thing to do.
I have never wanted to be more alone, in my life. Like I've said, I've always had someone, from the womb. I've always just attached myself.
I'm not considering her feelings at all. I will make sure that I Gal with our son at every opportunity. He will see that his father loves him. If WE make it through the year and end up together then he will have two parents that want to make things work. If we drift apart, then so be it.
But I'm doing this for me.
Just cos things are going right, doesn't mean that they were always wrong.
So she also rescinded her formal acceptance of me transferring the house into my name. So out comes the ultimatum...
I want the house and I want a separation for a year. If you do not want to sell me the house then I will file for D and I will make sure that the house must be sold and I will buy it. So you have a choice of a separation for a year, or a divorce. You need to make the decision.
So the ball is still in her court. Come 1 July I transfer the house. D order or S...
This is what I want.
Just cos things are going right, doesn't mean that they were always wrong.
She's going to get half of the house value anyhows. Bought 3 years ago, so there's not alot in it. It will just be a case of whether she wants a separation or a divorce. I ideally want the separation, but will see through the D if it comes to that.
My Bro just called me now and asked how long she's seeing OM2. Then it hit me, that she's actually in a R with him. Wow. Never saw that coming. Just noting, no anxiety.
Just cos things are going right, doesn't mean that they were always wrong.
WW is on the way out to OM2. Just another opportunity to detach. Going to put my phone off, close the MBR door and get a good night's sleep. Going to focus on the new job and a better life.
Looking forward to time out this wknd. Still gonna calculate mins spent in her company. Will be cool to see the difference from 3 months ago.
Just cos things are going right, doesn't mean that they were always wrong.
