I have a choice to leave this M as a broken man. Right now.
Or, I can leave this an unbroken man. I can let the devil drag me down, I can face him every morning and tell him that I will not let him hold me down. I will stand up and fight for myself and my sanity and I will succeed. I am not a failure, even tho my M is.
Just cos things are going right, doesn't mean that they were always wrong.
What makes you think you are a broken man? Are you not sober? god believing? a good father? a good person?
Me31 W31 M11yrs S6yrs 23Mar16-BD 9Apr16-W admitted EA w boss. 27Jun16-W Changed job and promised NC w OM. 14Jul16-Continued contact w OM.Start of Separation. 24May17-Divorced.
Yes, I'm not a broken man. I am learning each day, how to be a sober man, how to more God fearing, how to be a better father, a better man and a better person.
I'm delaying the inevitable, I'm holding on to someone that isn't mine, anymore. I need to let her go. I have to let her go. She is no good for me the way that she is.
Every day I fall, every day I pick myself up, even day I get wiser, I get stronger. This is my lesson. Thank you God.
Just cos things are going right, doesn't mean that they were always wrong.
I've been crying for an hour solid. I believe that I got the job. GOD GAVE ME THIS JOB. God put this in front of me to challenge me to be more like him.
I accept the challenge.
It wasn't even an interview. A junior financial advisor walked me through the company and its ethos. He's gonna WhatsApp the boss about my start date. I should start 1 July. Im going to give one weeks notice, go on a getaway by myself for a week, recharge and refocus.
Company benefits mean that I will want for nothing. Except healing my broken heart. That will take time.
Just cos things are going right, doesn't mean that they were always wrong.
Thx Natus, I really needed you earlier. You asked me the perfect question.
So my WW is clearly the broken one. I was too only 2 months ago. If I think now, could I forgive her, I'd have to say yes.
But like Ralph, I'd need her to find herself in a similar way that I have. What a journey, that I have been put on. MVG said that it is best to get away from the madness asap. I second both of them.
Do I save my M or myself. Right now, I'll save myself.
Just cos things are going right, doesn't mean that they were always wrong.
You can't save your M before you save yourself. Hang in there DDJ!
M 37 W 30 S 7 Together 10 years Married 9 years BD: 12/12/12(W filed same day) I moved to apartment 1/11/13 W and S moved to MIL 1/11/13 Peicing: 6/3/13 Reconciled: 7/2013 BD2: 4/20/16 still working on it
My point was that you said you wanted to do these. My image is that by doing them, you won't be broken anymore.
Detach (from WW and lose control) • Do not start 100% of all conversations • Do not get drawn into 100% of all possible arguments • Do not check Tracker when my WW is out • Keep my phone off when my WW is out • Consciously remove control over others when I interact with them • Do not react to anything anyone says or does, pause and then consider my response
Improve myself (GAL) • I need to go to gym at least 3 to 4 days a week. My gym bag must remain in the car so that I can simply state that “I’m going out”. • I need to stop eating junk-food, and actually start eating. I need to keep healthy snacks to boost my nutrition. • I need to get out every day that I can, even if it’s a drive to sit somewhere and soak up nature. I need to try and see more live sports and spend time with my long lost family and friends.
Understand boundaries and implement some • I think that I’m starting to get what boundaries are. The big emotional one will be no intimacy with my WW. The longer I can keep her off me, the stronger I will get. I will know that I will have achieved it if the day to sign the D papers come and I’ve still not given off.
Appreciate the little things
• I think that here I need to affirm my WW whenever she does anything that is not selfish, and is her going out of her way for me, or our son. Perhaps hitting 100% of affirmations, and understanding where I did not.
So why does it matter where W lives for you to do those?
As long as there's OMS involved, I'm going to stay the babysitter. I know that I'm not broken, but being fixed.
I just don't want to deal with the madness anymore. I want to focus on myself without any regard for her. I know that I can do it with her in my face. Can i not choose to do it without her there...
Just cos things are going right, doesn't mean that they were always wrong.
