Blueboy, you're not putting yourself first. What do you want, what do you want to do. If you're thinking bout hurting her feelings or pushing her away then you're doing it wrong. Don't not care, just don't show it.
Just cos things are going right, doesn't mean that they were always wrong.
blueboy, I know exactly how you feel, I feel the same way. My WW left for 5 days, she is still gone. When she left she gave big hugs and kisses and said she would call when she got there. I never heard from her until 9 the next day...because I texted her. It is that kind of action from me that lets her know she still has me by the balls. I am 40 also, looking to rebuild and have now idea what I am doing day to day. The difference is my WW doesn't know what she wants,she says one thing and does another. I told her today that I didn't want to live in the fringes anymore, gave her a list of questions and concerns about living in the same house. She said that she would call to discuss on her drive home tonight, I have no expectations for that...but still hope. I almost wish she would have just told me that she was leaving me for another, I would be able to start healing...but right now just stuck in neutral...on a hill..headed down the hill backwards.
M 21 years XW 43yo, me 41 yo S13 BD March 2016 - she asked me to patient... End of June - I started the D process. D final 2/23/17 "He who forgets will be destined to remember" Eddie Vedder
Blueboy, Sandi says that a woman only has space in her heart for one man. This means that our WWs don't care about us anymore, they really don't. DB'ing is about us caring about ourselves.
I'm saying this because your WW is probably temp checking to make sure that she still has a place in your heart. You need to act smooth and aloof, like she's a chick chasing you down, but you're too busy eyeing the other chick in the corner.
She's says she feels she's in control because you have given her some space. Feeling in control and being in control are two different things!
Just cos things are going right, doesn't mean that they were always wrong.
Confused what to do, I pressed for a physical separation thinking this my cause her loss, however it just appear to have made her more determine to pursue a R with OM.
I feel like I have lost everyone, I not sure what do do know? Would really appreciate an advise!
Do I just carry on DB'ing?
Me: 40 W: 36 T21 M17 S12 D10 D10 ILYBNILWY EA happened. PA happened. June 2016 trying to piece our M and life's back together...
Blueboy, you're doing it for the wrong reasons. You don't want to cause her loss, you insanely want to cause yourself loss. More loss than you already experienced. You are addicted to your WW, you need to lose that addiction.
Reread the detachment threads and refocus on yourself. If she wants a R with OM, then so be it. Do you really want to be a third wheel? Do you want to be plan B?
You can live your life waiting for a miracle or you can go out and make your own one.
Just cos things are going right, doesn't mean that they were always wrong.
