I've found more problems in the relationship related to HER issues, and if she's not willing to work on those (like she says she is not willing to do), then I'm honestly better off without her.
betterm,
You do learn fast! And, congrats on having a good coach. Well done!
You do learn fast! And, congrats on having a good coach. Well done!
Found her completely randomly, and she's serious business. I wish she was local, and generally only serves the PA-state area, but after I contacted via email her with my situation, she said she'd be willing to do phone/skype coaching for my one-off circimstance. She's been great. And completely polar-opposite of the Db-coach, but I think I've done a good job of taking the best from both coaches and being able to implement in a way that makes the most sense for my sitch...
Oh, and of course, the help and advice all you all in the community offer is just priceless!
It is really about putting yourself first. Doodler and I are doing it awesomely now and you're right there with us. We have always put our WWs first, and look where that got us.
Let's see how great the future looks without them in it :-)
Last edited by Cadet; 05/25/1602:48 AM. Reason: Start a new thread message
Just cos things are going right, doesn't mean that they were always wrong.
Up to the antics again. Last night we both had stuff going on and got home around 11:15PM or so, it was a quiet encounter, she kept boasting about her “new friend Jan” and how awesome of a time they had. Not sure why she felt she needed to all the sudden start sharing her life with me, but okay… great. I noticed she didn’t have the ring on still, didn’t say anything about it.
This morning I noticed again and asked if she was no longer wearing her ring, and she said, ‘not right now, I took it off when you went all crazy and yelled at me on the phone.’… this might be how she remembers it, or she might just be trying to antagonize, but there was no yelling. She was referring to the conversation on Friday when she found out I withdrew all my direct deposit money into cash. She escalated and I told her “I just took it out so I could have one month’s bills, in cash, in case you decide to retain an attorney… have to have money to pay the bills, that’s all I’m doing.” She went on to say how “sneaky” it is, and she thinks I’m up to something like I’m going to leave the M and this is only pushing her ‘further away’ from her. That’s when I told her I’m not leaving, and she’s the one making the decision to leave, I’m just protecting myself for when she does….”
Somehow, my calm, direct, approach to this conversation has her this morning, fuming about how I “went crazy” and “disrespected her by yelling and calling names” over the phone call on Friday… I hope this is her just ‘up to antics’ and trying to start something. Because this has, yet, been ANOTHER problem of our past. Her ‘way to remember’ things are so far from the truth, it’s like her memory exists in some other realm of fictional existence… there’s probably some kind of psycho-analysis for this kind of behavior – remembering things falsely to fit your current need/situation….
Anyways, I’m not going to let it get to me, she’s “not wearing the ring, now, but she’s going to wear it this weekend,” she told me. (We’ll be spending the weekend apart again, as she’ll be going out of town with family & friends (annual trip), and I’m not invited this year. So, I’ve planned a trip of my own… haven’t told her this, and I’ve already arranged for care of the animals, but I'm sure she'll flip out upon finding out. Actually, I’m excited that for the first time in 5 years (the first two years were fun), I’m doing something different on this (hopefully) beautiful Memorial Day weekend!
