Good on for you standing up for yourself. However i echo the others that you need to plan to protect you and your S, from her if needs be. That should be the main priority ~ everything else is GALing and icing on the cake.
Me31 W31 M11yrs S6yrs 23Mar16-BD 9Apr16-W admitted EA w boss. 27Jun16-W Changed job and promised NC w OM. 14Jul16-Continued contact w OM.Start of Separation. 24May17-Divorced.
Thx Natus, she could see that I really was giving up on her. I never even brought up D. I just said that I cannot do this anymore. One of us needs to go. So I'm going.
She asked later, is there anything besides the late nights and cellphone that she must stop. I said the alcohol too. She never responded...
If my WW can give up her addictions to attention, other men and alcohol then I might consider letting her back in. But I have to state that I am serious about leaving her if she does not. Makes me cry thinking about it, but I know that it's my and my sons only chance at happiness.
She kissed me on my forehead as she left to work and said, thank you for giving me another chance. I hope she takes it.
Just cos things are going right, doesn't mean that they were always wrong.
Oh, and she let me check her phone again. No deleted chats with anyone, going back to Fri and there is no love yous, no hugs, no kisses anywhere. Even with possible OM 2 + 3.
Slightly disappointed again.
Just cos things are going right, doesn't mean that they were always wrong.
I know how you feel, you want to find something so you can tell your self F it and leave.
Our Ws are polar opposites, yours says shes wants to work at the M but goes out, parties, doesnt come home etc etc mine says she doesnt want to work on the M but acts all married. Its infuriating and confusing.
Me31 W31 M11yrs S6yrs 23Mar16-BD 9Apr16-W admitted EA w boss. 27Jun16-W Changed job and promised NC w OM. 14Jul16-Continued contact w OM.Start of Separation. 24May17-Divorced.
Oh, and she let me check her phone again. No deleted chats with anyone, going back to Fri and there is no love yous, no hugs, no kisses anywhere. Even with possible OM 2 + 3.
Slightly disappointed again.
Slightly disappointed again? You are disappointed you found no messages?
It is not about what you feel should work in your M. It is about doing the work that gets the right results. Do what works!
I need concrete proof whether or not she's having a second A, or if she's still hung up on OM1. I don't think that I will ever know.
My gut feeling is telling me that she has cheated over the past 3 nights, to spite me. My gut feeling says that I must walk away and save myself and my S. My gut feeling is that she has "hooked" me in again in asking for another chance.
I will continue to GAL, validate, 180 and focus on me. I will see what steps she's willing to take to make the M work. I must prepare for the worst (cheating) and then for the best (letting her go).
Just cos things are going right, doesn't mean that they were always wrong.
I really need to focus on myself, focusing on her is really killing me. I do need to drop her, but it's so difficult logistically.
My bro is moving out of our adjoined flatlet mid june, and I could go with him for a month. I know that you all say, don't move. But what choice do i have if she does not want to move.
Just cos things are going right, doesn't mean that they were always wrong.
My gut feeling says that I must walk away and save myself and my S.
Wow, I stopped checking in for a few days and things spiraled incredibly fast.
I get it. Youre angry. Hurt. Tired. Confused.
But walking away isnt going to "save" you. SAVING YOURSELF will save yourself. Its time for a plan. A real life, long-term, concrete PLAN.
What do you want. What do you need. What are you going to do. Actually sit down and do the work. Small, incremental, consistent actions.
Just "moving out" isnt going to solve anything. Until you make a plan, youre going to be completely running on emotions, flying off wherever the wind takes you...whether its closer to your goal or not.
I just came from the best interview ever, they asked me about the most difficult thing I had to do,and I broke down into tears and explained my possible D. It was an hour of introspection as they want to see if I am a proper fit for their culture.
I asked them what made my Resume stand out, and she says that I'm entrepreneural. I don't look back, I move forward. It got me thinking, how am I moving forward in my M.
I'm not. I have a WW that's most likely cheated on me. But that's not important anymore. What do I want and would staying with this alien move me forward. Hell no.
So this is the plan... She has said that she wants one last chance, I will give her a month to give up attention for other men, new friends, alcohol and addiction for her phone. These are all the same things really. Then when my Bro moves out I will move out for a month. No longer. To see if these changes are for me or if she has had an awakening.
I know what I'm worth, and I am worth a whole lot me than this cheating spouse. So the focus remains on me. I will continue to focus on me and hopefully not lose it.
Just cos things are going right, doesn't mean that they were always wrong.
