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DDJ Offline
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Ideally you should not initiate contact, I stupidly did it once today - all other contacts from her. They want the space, let them have.

The goal should be focusing on you, if you focus on her then you're not achieving your goal.


Just cos things are going right, doesn't mean that they were always wrong.
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Jb9140 Offline OP
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Actually funny you responded first. I think subconsciously the stuff you encountered a couple days ago triggered me to try to open up a little at the teacher's conference with my wife. THANKS... LOL... you were spot on when you said it's a lot easier to judge this stuff from the outside.


Me-LBH, 44
Spouse-WAW, 41
Married for 9 years
S, 7 S, 5
BD - November 20th 2015
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otw Offline
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I actually think you were fine with the interaction. You have to show something. You weren't pursuing.


M 37
W 34

T 12
M 8
D 7
S 4

Need break 4/12/15
W no ring 7/7/15

Separate room 4/12/15
Separate living suggested 8/15
W moved out 11/1/15
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I love how we're able to learn from others. It is about experimenting and seeing the results. Nothing wrong with making a mistake as long as you learn from it.


Just cos things are going right, doesn't mean that they were always wrong.
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Jb9140 Offline OP
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Thanks, I didn't feel like I was pursuing. her wall just seems to be so high up. At this point I'm just hoping she will start lowering it a little bit. I'm a where that this is a long process.


Me-LBH, 44
Spouse-WAW, 41
Married for 9 years
S, 7 S, 5
BD - November 20th 2015
Joined: Feb 2016
Posts: 305
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Jb9140 Offline OP
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Been busy this morning. Cleaned house, cut grass, and just started laundry. Going to the gym in a hour. Went to the beach yesterday and had a good time. Watched a guy catch a 30 lbs king fish off a pier. Unfortunately some porpoises saw him to, and he ended up just reeling in the head of the fish. It was entertaining none the less. Wife has been gone since Friday with kids down to visit her parents. As usual she hasn't reached out even to let me know the made the trip safely. It amazing how selfish and self absorbed she can be. Oh well back to dbing.


Me-LBH, 44
Spouse-WAW, 41
Married for 9 years
S, 7 S, 5
BD - November 20th 2015
Joined: Feb 2016
Posts: 305
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Jb9140 Offline OP
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Wife finally texted around 3:30 yesterday to let me know she'd be back in town with kids around 5:00 - 5:30 . She dropped them off at 5:30 and seemed like she was in a big rush to leave, so I didn't try to keep her around in conversation.

When she arrived the yard was done, I had just been out to get my hair cut, and had on nice clothes and Cologne. Today I felt like I was faking my appearance, because I've really felt down the last couple of days,. hopefully she didn't notice this. Fake til you make it right?


Me-LBH, 44
Spouse-WAW, 41
Married for 9 years
S, 7 S, 5
BD - November 20th 2015
Joined: Feb 2016
Posts: 305
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Jb9140 Offline OP
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Sandi - I've got a question

Last night night I started watching NetFlix which I hadn't logged into for quite awhile. Netflix has profiles, and my wife has one. So I looked at her profile; which i guess borderlines snooping. What I noticed is that she watches Netflix pretty much every night for hours, and she basically is watching purely Hateship\loveship category which equates to sad romance movies. Like I've said in the past I have know evidence of my wife being in a PA. I know it's a possibility.

I understand that waywardness is a mindset, I'm just having a hard time getting my head around this addiction part if it is a imaginary affair

Sandi - I cant remember, but did you ever meet anyone in person that you were having online conversations with?


Me-LBH, 44
Spouse-WAW, 41
Married for 9 years
S, 7 S, 5
BD - November 20th 2015
Joined: Aug 2015
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Hey JB

Good job on working on your appearance, At first it seem like a lot of work but it will get easier.

Keep it up, this is the new you.

You care about yourself and it is reelected in how you present yourself with your clothes and keeping up with hair cuts.


Me late 30's
W mid 30's
T 15, M 10
S4, S7
ILYBNILWY June 2015
In house S July 2015
W rings off Oct 2015
My ring off Feb 2015
Separate houses June 2016
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Sandi - I actually went ahead and re-read your story and post from Amy early on in your situation. I think I may have answered my on question re-reading some of your stuff. Thanks again for how much your contribute to this forum. You truly are a inspiration.


Me-LBH, 44
Spouse-WAW, 41
Married for 9 years
S, 7 S, 5
BD - November 20th 2015
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