ive been riding this horse for almost a year and a half now.... lol. i dont expect any quick fixes at this point. nor do i want a quick fix.
i feel really good and my life is great. im at the point where im looking back, to see if she is getting on the last car of the train, or if the train is leaving without her. either way, ill be fine.
she is still very wayward at times. tonight was one of the nights that i realized that. the kids had a carnival at their school, and i could see it in her plain as day.
its weird. one day she wants to make it right with me. the next she is acting like a slut. sorry i hope that makes it past the sensors.
i just learned from a friend, that last night, she was out at the bar and was quoted saying that she wishes that i would just divorce her. it would make her life so much easier. but she thinks that i think we are on the mend. and she isnt anywhere near there.
so tuesday, i get the cry story from her about forgiveness and putting the past in the past. today i get this.
im trying, i really am. but lately ive been growing weary from playing the game. with what seems like no progress. as far as i go, as much as i do. i find myself here. its a rollercoaster for sure.
so....basically am i soposta just keep doing this until something snaps her out of it? or until i get tired and choose to move on completely ?
e04355,
We can not control our S, we can only control ourselves. Become the person only a fool would leave. If she leaves, then you will be the person that will attract the person that you should be with.
If you reach the point where you know that you have done everything possible to save your MR, then you will know it. When you know it, then you will be able to make the decision that is best for you and you can hold your head up high.
Be well today my friend.
Me 46 Former W 46 D19 D7 BD Feb 2016 WAW moves out 4/16/16 D final 6/1/2017
It's time for me to start changin' the way I look at the world......and at myself. ~James Howlett aka Wolverine
im realizing that i got drawn into her game again.
i saw that she was making progress, and even showed many positive signs. and that drew me in. it got me interested in her again. but when it swung the other way, and she went back to her waywardness, i started to panic. i need to remind myself that this is a process, this is a process, this is a process. lots of ups and downs.
the good thing is, i resisted the urge to tell her how i was feeling. and she didnt get to see me get bothered by her behavior.
i also need to remind myself that there is nothing wrong with me. its not my fault. sometimes it seems that everything i do or dont do leads to this or that. but its not me. ive got my life pretty well together right now.
this site has lots of articles, and i am very thankful and greatfull for that. can someone lead me to anything on the stages of waywardness? or signs to look for? a road map of any kind? ive tried to search, but came up empty
You are doing well. The only articles are Sandi's that I know of. If your W wants to come back she will make it clear to you but be cautious of her actions and believe only 50% of what she does.
H-46 XW-38 T-7 M-6 S-9,8,8,6,4 S 11/30/15, I filed 12/8/15 EA 2/1/16 D dismissed 3/24/16 PA 3/18/16 confirmed 4/22/16 XW files for D 4/1/16 - D final 11/17/16 Finally moving forward...
Yes as JimKao mentions, sandi is the place to start. She can share from the WW point of view. But I would also say, that she will challenge you to stay focused on your side of the tracks.
Being sucked into her game, is an indicator that you are reacting to her actions and words, and this is not an approach that will aid your progress.
Stay focused on you. Learn of the WW mindsets from sandi, and remember, you have the gift of time. Use it wisely for you.
Be well today and find moments of joy and peace doing something for you.
Me 46 Former W 46 D19 D7 BD Feb 2016 WAW moves out 4/16/16 D final 6/1/2017
It's time for me to start changin' the way I look at the world......and at myself. ~James Howlett aka Wolverine
